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7/21/11

Do You Even Matter?


I was challenged by a good friend about the whole "Live BIG. Die Empty." concept where I'm always talking about having vision, setting big goals and living in your purpose. It was a friendly challenge. Nothing too heated but it went along the lines of "What about all the "regular" people? Some of you folks act like people aren't valuable if they aren't doing something great! The world needs 9-to-5'ers, too. You act like regular folks are nobodies!"

Here are my thoughts on it. I believe every single person has a purpose beyond mere existence. Simple as that. I don't know that everyone has to rival Donald Trump, become as influential as Oprah or speak as eloquently as Charles Swindoll to be valuable. Probably not. There is greatness available to us all in every station of life.

I draw a lot of my inspiration from this from the book of Jeremiah wherein God shows Jeremiah how he had been uniquely crafted for the Lord's special purpose BEFORE there was even a manifestation of Jeremiah in the world! I love this passage. Read it for yourself! (I've linked it and will spare you all the details on this page.)

I like the Parable of the Talents for this because some people read about Jeremiah and say "Well, that might be true for him, but I'm not called like that!" Perhaps. Perhaps not. But let's look at the parable for a moment:

"For it is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them. To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey." ~Matthew 25:14-15 (NASB)

Here's what I like about this passage and what I say to people who wonder whether they matter: No servant got ZERO talents. Each one had an expectation from the Master to be fruitful. Each one received according to their capacity and...by the way...being fruitful with their "talent" was a command and an expectation! Read the story. The Master wasn't offering a friendly suggestion. He demanded/demands a return on His investment!

No matter who you are, you weren't given ZERO to work with either. You've probably been given quite a bit, actually, and the Lord requires a return on His investment in you. So...yes...you matter and so does what you do with your life.

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!



7/15/11

Mark Anthony McCray - Speaker, Consultant, Writer, Trainer & Accelerator

With the knowledge, skills and experience that he has acquired as a trained MBA, entrepreneur, lay instructor and ministry staffer, Mark Anthony McCray is now a trusted trainer, ministry partner and business advisor.

As a professional speaker, writer and workshop facilitator, he helps churches, faith-based groups, professional organizations, youth groups and individuals achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives.

His most popular topics include the following:

• How to Discover Your Purpose and Pursue Your Passions
• Get Some Balls, the Power of the Tongue and Principle of the Thermostat
• What Paul Has to Teach Us About Thinking Successfully
• Mark’s 18 Very Personal Rules for Financial Advancement
• Financial Secrets from the Richest Man Who Ever Lived
• Seedtime and Harvest: Lessons in Giving and Receiving
• How to Become Unstoppable
• How to Sell Yourself and Your Services like a Monster! (For Entrepreneurs)
• The Business of Proverbs (For Entrepreneurs)
• The Ten Commandments of Marketing (For Entrepreneurs)

Each keynote or workshop session can be customized with relevant examples, anecdotes and solutions to match your audience and your needs. Just ask!

Unapologetic about using the power and wisdom of God's word as a teacher, trainer and coach, Mark has helped thousands of people move their lives to a place of greater fruitfulness, purpose and fulfillment. Mark is CEO of First Capital Commercial Finance and, as a real estate investor and Commercial mortgage broker, has successfully structured tens of millions of dollars in private real estate investments.

Mark earned a BA in Economics from the University of Texas at Austin an MBA from Texas State University and his writings have been published in newspapers and magazines across the country. Contact Mark at (832) 566-2001 or email mark@livebigdieempty.com

You can begin to “Live Big and Die Empty”, too! Start by "Liking" this page http://www.facebook.com/LiveBigDieEmpty and then order my book and you're on your way!

Pre-order your copy of "Live Big. Die Empty" today for only $17.95 and get the guidance you need to take your life to a new level. Filled with powerful exercises and observations that will revolutionize the way you look at yourself and your life, you need this if your tired of living a small life. Pre-orders get an autographed copy and this special introductory pricing!

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7/14/11

"Things Bitter Women Say" for $500", Alex!?"

(Rewritten and reposted from the original with all thanks for Melissa Rich for the changes!)

Bitterness is a "conscious decision". It doesn't happen "to" a person. A person "chooses" it. It takes root when emotional pain is not dealt with effectively. Holding on to past hurts and offenses will result in bitterness. This will eventually lead to the death of a thing if it even has the chance to attempt growth.


I am posting this article based on things REAL women have said. Attitudes and positions "decided" by them. Bitterness may be there but a wise person (can be a man or woman) knows enough to deal with it and keep quiet until he/she has cleared their heart and mind of that which causes them to return in time to an experience that no longer exists in the present, except in their own memory.

If we want healthy relationships, we need to be painfully honest with ourselves and deal with these old wounds.

1.  "He took advantage of me!"  There comes a time in EVERY person’s life where they need to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their OWN choices. At some point you became a willing participant in your relationship drama.  Like I always say, "when in doubt, just stay upright and fully-clothed."  It is a "victim" mentality that continues to blame others and never accepts personal responsibility. Add to this, it is harmful to YOU because you will never be able to recognize or be part in a mature and healthy relationship. By talking like this you identify yourself as someone who is unable to learn from their own wrong choices.  It cant be "their fault" ALL the time. As a female friend reminded me, "if you're were wearing your nice panties, you didn't ‘fall’ at all!  You knew where the road you were on was headed!"

2.  "He was a waste of my time!"  Are you evaluating your own self yet?  Are you sure that you did not waste his time or his money? Everybody is getting SOMETHING out of every relationship they maintain.  Evaluate your own motives and the reason why you may have stayed with someone whom you suddenly decided was a waste of your time. Maybe you're getting the satisfaction of believing someone cares about you?  Maybe you're getting low-cost meals and movies?  Maybe you're just happy to be seen with SOMEBODY at the church social?  Either way, you got something if you were hanging around!  In reality, if you are taking "personal responsibility" you wasted your own time because you continued to hang with him AFTER you realized it wasn't working for you. It would be more beneficial to you to maybe look at it with a different perspective. Consider it a learning experience; about yourself, men and how you might consider more carefully next time. Again, how you look at it determines whether or not you are "growing" towards a more healthy choice or likely to perpetuate the same frustrating cycle. A cycle that "you" are choosing.

3.  "I love him but I don't respect him!"  If a man has to choose your love or respect, he would rather have your respect.  Believe that!  Take it from a "man"! I'm not saying your "love" is worthless, but it’s worth less than respect and admiration.  This is a problem for a lot of my sisters.  They say men shouldn't need respect.  "Why doesn't he just respect himself?"  "What does it matter what I think?"  "Is his ego really that fragile?"  Admiration is a NEED for a man and most will gravitate towards whoever is giving it.  Women are always shocked at how a man chooses the "other" woman who isn't as beautiful as his wife.  It's because it wasn't about looks.  She was doing something else for him/his ego!

4.  "I don't believe in dating."  Not to sound too frustrated but, do you honestly believe that I am supposed to walk up to you and immediately declare my intentions on courting you towards marriage? I don't even know if you know how to eat with your mouth closed?  Seriously?  Dating is the process by which "we" find out if "we" are "right" for one another. It is a REAL and EXTREMELY VALUABLE step in the path towards committing your LIFE to each other. My commitment to a woman in marriage is for EVER! I am being integral to make sure I make the RIGHT decision before it’s too late.

This is for YOUR good as well. A God-fearing man of integrity will choose very wisely before he makes a life-long covenant. He intends to KEEP his word. How can I determine if you are someone I want to commit my entire life to when I don't even know you? Men are tactile, we are practical. We hear God’s voice but we are still very practical in how we go about the process. You can try to force us to be something else, but you will continue to be alone and wondering why. Ladies, trying to help you here.

5.  "I won't settle."  A lot of people say this and they do not appear to have as high a standard for themselves as they do for the one they have set their hopes on. You don't have to worry about settling because he will not likely choose someone who does not see his value; that would be "settling" in "his" mind. It is possible that he "likes" you but he doesn't dare tell you that you are lacking in some areas as well. He is being kind but also realistic. You might not be the prize you think you are.  Sure,  you're great.  But your breath is bad in the mornings (and some afternoons), you've got a nasty attitude sometimes and maybe you weight more than you should and though he is very interested in you, he is scurried to express that point. Have you set your mind on this "ideal" so that you cant even see the person?  Are you even looking at "him" as an "individual" or are you trying to "match" him to some "ideal" in your mind. Until you look at the situation with real and present perspective, you are in danger of missing what could be perfect for you.

These attitudes are not going to help you land a good man. They are going to deter them. When a "good" man comes along, he will run soon as he recognizes that you are viewing him through your old pain. He doesn't want your old life or the mess that you chose to bring with you thus far. He wants something fresh between the two of you. He wants a relationship with "YOU" not you and all the other men you have been hurt by.
don't be so quick to react, face yourself and get real.

Consider what I am saying for your own well-being. If you remain bitter, chances are, you will get someone who is also carrying baggage and it will NOT work for you either. Unfortunately, if you are not being honest with yourself, you will continue to attract a man based on your unconscious fears and will find that he is just like the others. That is because you will not attract something different until YOU change something about yourself and how you view relationships and men. A bitter woman will likely not attract a healthy and stable man because he is looking for a healthy and stable woman.

7/13/11

9 Questions to Help Discover Your Purpose


When some people hear people like me talk about discovering their purpose and walking in it, all they get is FRUSTRATED!! They become frustrated because they either don't think they have a special, God-given purpose or they simply don't know how to discover it. I can relate to that. I've been there.

I can't give a definitive response to the question "What is my purpose?" for anyone besides myself. I believe the answer comes from getting in touch with God and how He's made you and for what purpose He's made you. However, here are some questions I've found that can help you get a little closer to the answer. Ask yourself these questions...

1. What have I always been good at?
2. What or whose needs do I care about the most?
3. What arouses the most passion (joy, anger, happiness, frustration) in me?
4. Who do I admire most?
5. What makes me feel most fulfilled?
6. What do I love to do the most?
7. What have I felt "called" to do?
8. What am I doing when I feel like God is co-laboring with me?
9. What do I most want to be remembered for?

I encourage you to go through those questions with a pen and sheet of paper in front of you and then take your response to God in prayer. For some of you, it will bring clarity to what you already know. For others - if approached with honesty - this exercise will bring some things about yourself to the surface that you've never seen before.

Please share this with someone you know who may be looking for a little bit of direction this day...and please, please, please remember to join my "Live BIG! Die Empty." Facebook page. I want to stay connected with you!

Blessings!


7/12/11

Have You Ever Written a Values Statement?


Have you ever sat down and written down a Statement of Values? Successful corporations do this all the time. They are often posted around the halls of their facilities. It's just a fancy way of thinking and expressing what you stand for as a person.

I think everyone should take a moment to remind himself or herself what's important. For me, success is living in such a way that I will one day hear God say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Therefore, I endeavor to live each day according to the following principles:

I LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART, SOUL, AND MIND.
I serve my God with passion and commitment.

I LOVE MY NEIGHBORS AS MYSELF.
I show everyone respect. In everything, I do unto others as I would have them do unto me. I live at peace with all men whenever possible.

I WALK BY FAITH.
I know with God all things are possible and that He causes all things to work together for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. I never limit Him by lowering my expectations.

I DELIVER ON MY COMMITMENTS.
I am a man of integrity and I do what I say I will do.

I GIVE AND FORGIVE.
I realize that I am only a steward of God's riches; I hold them with open hands. I forgive my brothers and sisters seventy-times seven times approaching them privately if they have sinned against me.

I SET GOD-SIZED GOALS.
I know I have a royal heritage and that God has called me to great things. He has come so that I might have life and that more abundantly.

I EXEMPLIFY EXCELLENCE.
I do not accept anything less than excellence from myself. I do not leave well enough alone.

I SERVE MY CHURCH AND COMMUNITY WITH PASSION.
I am a leader who leads by serving.

I HAVE FUN!
I believe life is a gift from God. I am thankful for it and help other people enjoy God's gifts with me.

12 Ways to Shake Things Up


Feeling like you've hit a wall? Here are some things you can do right now to shake up your day!

1. Meet someone new today. Even if you have to talk to a stranger, do it.
2. Drive to work a different way tomorrow or drive home a different way today. Get up earlier if you have to.
3. Do 30 Jumping Jacks right now. Add 10 push-ups if you can.
4. Play some classic rock music as loud as you can. Dance if you're brave.
5. Go sit in your car and yell until someone thinks you're crazy.
6. Do something nice for someone...make sure they don't expect it.
7. Read a magazine you don't normally read.
8. Pick up the dictionary and learn a new word. Make sure it's a big one!
9. Smile more. Start right now as you're reading this.
10. Write a poem.
11. Call your mom.
12. Eat a food you've never eaten and buy it at a store you've never shopped.

What are some others? Got any suggestions to share? Are you bold enough to do something different today????

7/9/11

Yesterday is over. Don’t let it beat you twice.



"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?" ~ Mary Morrissey


How true! So often we are using energy that could be used to propel us forward to brood over what’s already passed and can’t be changed. This is what Mary Morrissey calls keeping one foot on the brakes. I have been guilty of this in the past. This quality has been among my biggest vices. In the past, I have been a brooder. Past tense. My confession now is I "live forward" as my Pastor likes to say. Yesterday, good or bad, is over.

All you have is today. Yesterday is over.

Everybody has days they would rather forget. Even the best of us have moments, days, and even weeks that absolutely kick our butts. I have decided the best way to limit the negative impact of a bad season is to acknowledge it, grieve over it and then move on as quickly as possible. Whatever you do, you can’t use up the energy that you need to succeed on licking your wounds for too long.

One technique I have used to help myself manage disappointment is to set aside time for it in advance. Occasionally, I remind myself that disappointing things are going to happen but I must keep moving. I must keep moving! So, what I have done is budget myself a set amount of time say, three minutes, for example, to pout, sulk, feel bad and otherwise mourn how much the day sucks. When my three minutes are over, my pouting is over and I’m back to work like nothing ever happened. For some, it’s better to start with a longer time period. Thirty minutes might be more appropriate for you while an hour is probably too long.

Either way, you can’t deal with loss effectively by acting like it didn’t happen.

For you, no matter where you are right now, yesterday is over. The last opponent may have beaten you. Don’t let them beat you twice. You may not have hit your goals during today’s workday. You can get up and go for it again tomorrow. Spend your energy focusing on how you are going to win the next round in the fight and live in the moment to the best of your ability.

Looking for more guidance? Order your copy of "10 #MonsterTips: How to Sell More and Earn More NOW!!!" at my Online Store.

Mark Anthony McCray is Founder of "Live BIG. Die Empty." a movement designed to help people live life more prosperously and on purpose. Write or call 832-566-2001 for more information and follow Mark on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/MARKMCCRAY and http://www.twitter.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty If you're interested in learning more about Mark Anthony McCray and having him speak to your group, here's a complete bio: MEET MARK ANTHONY McCRAY!

7/7/11

Develop the Characteristics, Attitudes and Aptitudes of the Most Successful People


This is from an article I wrote years ago and dusted back off to remind myself of these principles. I can't find the original, so this is from my notes and I have provided my own thoughts on each character trait.

Millionaires come in all shapes and sizes. Despite what many have been led to believe, there is no one “look” that the financially successful have. However, even though there is no specific profile into which all successful entrepreneurs fit, there are common characteristics they all seem to share:

An eye for opportunity. This is the essence of entrepreneurship: seeing a need and rushing to fill it. Often, the best ideas come from our own experiences. For example, once upon a time, someone thought to himself or herself that it would be great if they could pay for their gas at the pump. The rest is history.

An appetite for hard work. Entrepreneurs are the people who sometimes seem to rest to work while others might work to rest. They don’t spend a lot of time in community events or watching television. In the early stages of their business, they work almost maniacally. Sometimes it does not seem to be work to them because they enjoy what they are doing so much.

Self-discipline. Years ago, Dr. Dana Carson, gave me one of the best definitions of self-discipline I have heard. He defines discipline as the commitment to do what one must do as opposed to what one wants to do. Well said. As I have heard said elsewhere, “great men make sacrifices while others make excuses.” That which is easy to do is also easy not to do.

Independence. Entrepreneurship can be intensely lonely and isolating. If you are the kind of person who craves a sense of belonging and acceptance, starting your own business might not be for you. Starting a business can plunge an entrepreneur into a life of late nights, busy weekends, and solitude. An entrepreneur must be willing to walk alone and even appear the fool for a time.

Self-confidence. Entrepreneurs must have an intense belief in what they are doing. This is the quality that helps them build a team, sell partners on their ideas, convince others to help them, find customers, and attract investors. People are attracted to confidence and enthusiasm. Belief can be contagious.

Adaptability. Nothing ever goes as planned. A lasting entrepreneur has to be able to plan thoroughly, but scrap those plans and start over if the market doesn’t accept their ideas as he or she thought that it would. Adaptability also requires courage. It can be hard to change everything that you’ve planned for a long time. Successful entrepreneurs do the hard things.

Good Judgment. This is the ability to gather facts, analyze them, and make sound decisions. There are two ways to learn good judgment: by making and learning from your own mistakes or by learning from others’. Learning from others’ mistakes as much as possible hurts a lot less and gives you the chance to gather a broader base of knowledge and experiences to help you down your road to success.

Ability to tolerate stress. This quality is not just the ability to put up with intense pressures. That’s not enough. An entrepreneur must be able to continue to think clearly and function effectively in the midst of the stormy situations. The late Wilson Harrell, self-made multi-millionaire and author of "For Entrepreneurs Only" believed the ability to cope with pressure, which he calls Entrepreneurial Terror, is the single most important ingredient of entrepreneurial success. Amar Bhide, Professor of Entrepreneurship at Harvard University, says the problems that entrepreneurs face everyday would overwhelm most managers and cause them to be gripped by panic. I believe him. Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart.

The need to achieve. A lot of people desire to be successful in business. Desire is easy to find in people. Everybody wants something. In my line of work, people who desire their own business constantly approach me. On the other hand, rarely do I come across people who are determined to own their own business. There is a big difference. Determined people act, sleep, eat, think, walk, and talk differently. They inject an increased sense of purpose into everything that they do. Determination beats desire.

Keen Self-awareness. Successful entrepreneurs know their strengths and weakness. They understand how these qualities affect their abilities to succeed in business. Then they attempt to put themselves in the best position to succeed while exposing their weaknesses as little as possible. It may take time to develop such a keen sense of oneself, but I believe people find more success and satisfaction once they do so.

Did I miss anything? What would you add to this list? Do you have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur?  If you need help developing your business skills, check out The Sales Monster and get your copy today! 








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
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Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

6/27/11

An Epidemic of Singleness?


Websters Dictionary defines an epidemic as something "affecting or tending to affect a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time" especially of a negative connotation. That's us. These days, a very large number of people within "our" community fail to remain married and an increasing number fail to even try.

I believe "singleness" may have become an epidemic. It's a malady.  Lots of words to say it's a very bad thing and I am not sure any society or sub-culture within a society can sustain it.  Though not necessarily looking at it in a faith-based context, others are writing about this, as well, in talking about teenagers who have never seen a wedding!

I believe singleness could be robbing the body of Christ of its witness, its power and its cohesion. To a degree, it may be robbing us of our overall understanding of our faith. After all, Paul goes great lengths to help us understand the relationship of Jesus to His Church by using marriage as an analogy. Old Testament prophets did the same. In a day where fewer and fewer people even attempt marriage, could we be losing our ability to grasp and communicate our faith?

Is this a problem? Or a symptom of a deeper problem? What can be done about it?  The current "wisdom" relating to marriage is wait...wait...wait...take your time...wait...wait...wait...and....wait.  We date FOREVER...stay engaged FOREVER and then, finally, stay married half as long as many of the previous generations did.

I think it's time to give the current wisdom the boot and start looking for partners again!  Somebody point me towards people encouraging marriage...PLEASE???!!!

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him." 



Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


"All Things"


No word that the Lord has ever spoken to me has failed. Not ever.

That's my declaration and reminder to you (and to myself) today. When times are tough, as they are for many of us these days, it's only natural to become discouraged...to lose hope. But we must not lose hope. We must have faith and continue to press on, knowing that God has his children accounted for in His plan. If you love God and are called according to His purpose, in Christ, He promises that He works all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).

All things.

The next time you're feeling down in the dumps and despondent, try to remember that. Meditate on that word from God: all things.

Do not fear. Trust in the Lord and He will work all things out. It's absolutely critical that you get this deep down in your spirit so you can operate in vision instead of survival mode. Success in any endeavor requires taking the long view...and you can't take the long view if you're worried about this afternoon, this business deal, this negotiation, this next paycheck, this investment.