Guarding Your Thoughts

Why are you who you are? Why are you where you are? Where will you be tomorrow?

This is really basic today.  You are who you are because of the way you think about yourself. You are where you are in life because of the ways you've processed thoughts. You will be where you will be tomorrow because of how you think today.  I wish this had been more suspenseful. This is one of those "it is what it is" moments. A wise man once wrote it this way: "Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life."

• Your thoughts become your fantasies.
• Your fantasies lead to feelings.
• Feelings become acts.
• Acts become habits.
• Habits become your character.
• Your character becomes your destiny.

I'll never forget the first time I heard that last part.  My business law professor told me as I was finishing up my MBA.  He meant it as an encouragement to me.  He was telling me that my life would turn out well because I was a man of character.  He didn't fill out the rest of the formula for me, however.  I took me a while to put it all together.  Turns out he was 100% right.

Your dominant thoughts always become your destiny.  Watch what you think.  Only think on things that will take you the direction you want to go.  No exceptions!  No exceptions ever!  Focus on the content of your thinking and the rest will take care of itself.

One of the ways you can guard your thoughts is by making sure you're reading motivational, educational and inspirational material all the time.  Subscribe to this blog for some good brain and soul food!!

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Never Allow Average to Become Acceptable!

You are NOT an "Average Joe" by any means!  I'm not even hearing that!

The time for settling is over. No more settling in your finances. No more settling in your relationships. No more settling in your passion. No more settling in your purpose! Far too many of you are living below your privilege and have become comfortable there. Consider this your wake-up call. I'll let you hit snooze once. After that I'm coming with the cold water!

Surround yourself with people who expect excellence out of you and also expect excellence out of yourself.  Never settle again!  There is NO REASON you can't walk in greatness.  NONE!!

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Love is a Beautiful Thing.

Love is a beautiful thing. A human can't experience anything greater than being totally naked in front of another person and feeling total acceptance, no shame. I'm praying for this for all of you reading this today!

But you have to choose it. You have to take the chance and let your guard down. You have to forgive and let go of the past. But it's worth it. It truly is.

Blessings!

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For About the One Billioneth Time!

Boy, oh boy, does your environment make a difference! After spending the last couple of days around some of the sharpest, most aggressive people I know, I am so convinced that I needed this! I needed more time around leaders and I got it.  Thank God!

This could be one of my shortest blogs ever. I just want to remind you of a couple of things:

• Iron sharpens iron...and...
• He who walks with the wise becomes wise. 

If I can remind you of those and encourage you to seek out the company of fine men and women, I will have done my job today. That's pretty much it. A reminder. Now do it!!!

Subscribe. Let me help you keep your internal dialogue healthy and productive!  Also, thank God for cheerleaders!  If you need one, let me know!

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The Freedom of Forgiveness

From time to time I'm reminded that this blog is also ministry. I have to keep spreading the Gospel. And there is no gospel that doesn't include forgiveness. And any time we accept forgiveness (which all Believers have) we are obligated to extend grace to others in abundance.

How often? How many times do we forgive those who sin against us?  Probably more than you have as you read this.  If you're like many people, you have a ways to go.  Even if you're into a couple dozen times, you have a ways to go before you come close to the standard set by Christ.

Forgiveness and reconciliation aren't the same thing. One can give and forgive without recommitting to the relationship.  Sometimes it is necessary to keep one's distance.  But continuing to hold grudges impacts your own business, family life, spiritual life and relationships.  You can't continue in health while keeping poison in your system.

And if you tell me it's a process, I'll debate you because I'm not convinced.  To the extent it's a process, I think it's mostly a matter of deciding when you're going to stop letting the poison slowly kill you.  That's about as much of a process as I'm willing to allow.  I think most of the time we call it that to justify why we haven't done it.

I talk about forgiveness a lot, but I understand hurts, pains, dejection and betrayal MUCH MORE than any of you think. MUCH MORE. But I also understand the freedom of forgiveness.  It breaks those ties that were chaining you to your past.  That's the only way to live. When you live looking back, you doom your own future. Keep hoping and living in expectancy!

Blessings!

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Are You Relationship Ready?

I found this tool kind of neat! Click on this link and do the quiz to see how "Relationship Ready" you are. Is it perfect? No. Of course not, but it will give you some things to think about.

RELATIONSHIP TEST

What did you score?  If you're honest with yourself as you take it, I am confident you'll find some things to pray about and work on!  I actually scored pretty high.  Higher than I expected.  LOL

Blessings!

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Thank God for Cheerleaders!

Everybody needs a cheerleader!  Even me.

Last week I began to notice that my internal dialogue had become poisoned. I don't know how it happened. I honestly don't. I started catching myself saying negative, unproductive and critical things to myself and my life and situation. This isn't me. Where did this come from? I didn't know, but I was seeing how my mood was poor and my optimism and energy were being drained away from me slowly. This isn't me. Not usually.

But I'm thankful the Lord sent me a few cheerleaders to remind me of all the great things that are in me!

Sometimes negative people and situations can sap our strength and we don't even realize it's happening.  I can't always be around my cheerleaders, so I'm fighting back.  I'm confessing good words over my life and my future.  I'm believing for greater things and good outcomes... the way I usually do!  I hope you'll do the same!

Subscribe. Let me help you keep your internal dialogue healthy and productive!  Also, thank God for cheerleaders!  Also thank God for allowing me to find a fully-clothed one for this post.  That's harder to do than you think!

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"What to Do While You're Waiting?"

LaTracey Copeland & Mark Anthony McCray have partnered up to host this FREE Conference Call to encourage you, help you and teach you what to do while you're waiting!

After so many questions from our blog readers and friends in our Facebook communities, we felt like the time was NOW to discuss this topic with our friends and talk about all the things women AND men should do to prepare for success in their relationships - how to use your season of singleness the right ways.

This will be an interactive call, so come with your questions. No topic is off limits. BRING IT! We promise to be candid, honest and real with you...all while sharing the WORD and METHODS instead of just rehashed hype.

This is one you'll want to join for SURE!! Be sure to RSVP so we know to expect you. I've already had to add more "seats" to the event. Talk to you then!

RSVP on Facebook HERE ---> https://www.facebook.com/events/366990156688406/

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"5 Things to Communicate to the Man in Your Life Everyday"

"The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." ~Proverbs 14:1

I touched on "5 Things to Communicate to the Woman in Your Life" in my previous blog.  Please check it out and leave some comments if some hit home with you!  Today we look at the other side of the equation.  In fact, here's a treat.  After the previous blog, a friend sent me a list of things we should never say to a loved one.  I thought it was pretty good, too.  The bottom line is this: our tongues have the ability to build up or destroy.   Here are some ways a wise women uses her tongue.  She is eager to let him know in words and deeds...

1.  "I respect you."  If given the choice between having your respect and your love, studies have shown that most men will choose your respect.  For women, loving is natural.  This is the one that requires effort.  That's why the Bible speaks to it so often for women.

2. "I trust you completely."  This is kind of an extension of the other, but somewhat different because these words will inspire men to lead with confidence.  Feeling like your direction will be followed is very empowering and humbling.  It makes you want to be a better man. 

3. "I believe in you."  If you're called to be with a man, you have to learn how to undergird his vision and partner with him in it.  You can't do this if you don't believe in him.  He needs to know you're in his corner.  You're often his reason for laboring.

4. "I celebrate you."  Praise the behavior you want to see manifested.  Men have very sensitive egos.  More so than women, for sure.  Wise women build up their households by not being afraid to build up their men.  I've actually heard (FOOLISH) women say they don't praise their man because they don't want him to think too much of himself.  How stupid can you get?

5. "I am totally yours."  This will make any man do almost anything for you.  Seriously.  Very few things stir a man's blood like knowing that the woman in his life is completely sold out to him and him alone.  That's real power!

What a lot of my sisters don't realize (ducking behind a couch for protection as I write this) is God gives you full license to pour every bit of the admiration, respect and deference you have for Jesus into your husband. In fact, He tells you to do so.


Blessings!

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"5 Things to Communicate to the Woman in Your Life Everyday"

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.   Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.   Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.   Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." ~Ephesians 4:29-32


So much to say about the power of our words that I can't even begin to do it service.  We already know that the power of life and death are in our tongues.  Don't we realize that applies to our intimate relationships, too?  Of course it does.  Maybe more so because we can directly impact another person's attitudes, moods and responses to us with everything that comes out of our mouth.  We can create life or kill.

I've been too negative in the past.  I repent.  I can't remain that way if I expect to have a woman in my life who's thriving and growing because of MY influence in her life.  I must learn how to always EDIFY and always minister with everything I speak.   I think I'm pretty good, but I've let some words slip that made other people feel like I doubted them.  That's no good.  I was only speaking out of my own insecurities and stresses at the moment.  I've got to tame my tongue better!

I learned a few things from a friend recently about this.  With some help, I came up with five things that we men need to communicate (say or demonstrate) to the women in our lives often (maybe daily).  These are all tied to some of the most common insecurities women have.  We've got to help promote health in those we love.  I'll talk about the five things women should communicate to the man in their lives soon.

1. I love you. Women need to know that they are valued and cherished.  She needs to know she's special to you.  This is one we want to say all the time if we can.  It's better for her to hear it too much than too little.  You can love her with your actions, but this is one she needs to hear, too.


2. You are beautiful to me.  This continues to build her esteem from all the damaging words from her past.


3. I will show you a better me.  She needs to know that you're dedicated to working on yourself as a man.  She needs to know that you're receptive to her feedback and willing to take an honest look in the mirror from time to time.


4. I will never leave you or forsake you.  She will hear this as your pledge of fidelity to her and her alone.  She needs to know you value your covenant with her.  


5. I will protect you.  The need to feel secure is one of a woman's more basic needs.  We can't forget that.  A need is not a want.  She needs to know you're there for her.


These are pretty basic reminders for you.  I'm not saying you have to verbalize all of this all the time, but don't skimp.  Also, your actions speak loudly.  Demonstrate where you don't have the words.  



PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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