What You Should REALLY Do.

Isn't that how we treat people these days?  You should do this or that and if you don't then "go kill yourself!"  I HATE that phrase, but I see it tossed around a lot.  When did we become so harsh and judgmental?

Lots of "shoulds" make for GREAT social media conversations, but horrible relationships. And nobody likes a nag. You post "people should so and so" or people should never "blah blah blah" and it works because it divides the room (so to speak) philosophically and sparks conversation. Inevitably there will be one or two people on each side of the room who feel passionately enough to fill up your page with comments and entertainment.

However, in real life, every time you use the word "should" you're judging and every judgment alienates. I'm not saying there aren't times to alienate people. I'm just saying count the cost. Measure most of your rules against whether they work for you. Every successful person and every successful relationship contains at least a few elements that other people say they should or should not have.

You should "do you" more often.

 Oh yeah. Here's a friendly "iron sharpening" tip. Most people are already dealing with a number of insecurities and ways in which they feel like a failure anyway. They rarely need to be told yet another way in which they're failing to measure up! Trying cheering someone on for a change!

Subscribe to this blog.  Let's journey together!

Read More

"What to Do While You're Waiting?"

We're doing it again! We had so many people join us last time and give us AWESOME feedback that we just knew that you wanted this one more time!

LaTracey Copeland & Mark Anthony McCray have partnered up to host this FREE Conference Call to encourage you, help you and teach you what to do while you're waiting!

Our Special Guest for this call will be Terry Scott of Yielding Hearts!

After so many questions from our blog readers and friends in our Facebook communities, we felt like the time was NOW to discuss this topic with our friends and talk about all the things women AND men should do to prepare for success in their relationships - how to use your season of singleness the right ways.

This will be an interactive call, so come with your questions. No topic is off limits. BRING IT! We promise to be candid, honest and real with you...all while sharing the WORD and METHODS instead of just rehashed hype.


Dial In: 1-218-936-4141
Access Code: 942-9411

8PM to 9PM CST!!!
(9PM t0 10PM EST)

This is one you'll want to join for SURE!! Be sure to RSVP so we know to expect you. I've already had to add more "seats" to the event. Talk to you then!

RSVP HERE ---> THE FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE

Read More

The REAL Reason Men Cheat?

Men almost never cheat because sex.  Maybe about 8% of the time.  Normally it happens because of some profound unmet needs.  Statistically, it doesn't happen as much as you think either.  (Somewhere between 20% and 37% of men according to most studies I've read.  Far from the 99% that the media wants you to believe!)  More often men are going to stay faithful in their marriages and be miserable for as long as they can take it.  When it does happen, it's not usually a "sex" thing.  He's starving for something else.  


A starving man is either going to steal or die...and given his instincts to live, he's probably going to try stealing first.

The men who read my blog and belong to my Facebook page have begged me to address this issue, but I've avoided it for a long time because so many of my women readers think it's excuse-making.  However, one thing I've learned about relationships is that problems within them are rarely one-sided. Rarely. Not saying it doesn't happen and neither am I blaming the "victims" but a lot of adultery in marriage fits into this category.  Very few cases of infidelity involve a woman and man who were actively meeting one another's needs and one person just decided to stray out of the blue!

If you starve a person of a major need, after a while they are going to seek it out or die. A man's need for respect and admiration will often contribute to him looking for it wherever he can find it - even if in the company of another woman. This is why we (the public) are often shocked at how "plain" some of the mistresses of prominent men look. We wonder to ourselves "Her? Really? He was willing to risk so much for her!?" Where, in reality, often that woman has learned how to stroke that man's ego in some ways he was sorely needing.

Does this excuse predatory and irresponsible behaviors? Not at all. Remember, however, that we're talking about needs. And needs, by definition, must be met and there are countless men who are facing a few demoralizing choices even today as you read this: commit adultery, end the marriage or die.

Needs must be met. A skillful woman learns how to address to address this need at home.

Blessings!

Read More

Learning to Be Honest About Who You Are...

...is a very challenging thing at times. It's a challenge I thought I'd beaten 100% until I discovered that there is more inside me than I thought (and I think pretty highly of myself at times). Now I'm finding myself looking in the mirror (again) and being challenged (again) to find a higher level in life. The truth is I've been selling myself and severely undervaluing myself.  I can see that now.

But how about you?  How honest are you about who you are and what you are?  How honest are you about where you want to be in life?  That's the first step towards walking in the peace and fulfillment you want.  Honesty.  Then you can start taking steps towards the life you want - that you were meant to live - but it can't happen until you come face-to-face with YOU and accept who you are.

Realize, too, that where you are isn't where you have to remain.  But reaching any destination first begins with figuring out where you are.

Subscribe to this blog.  Let's journey together!

Read More

Guarding Your Thoughts

Why are you who you are? Why are you where you are? Where will you be tomorrow?

This is really basic today.  You are who you are because of the way you think about yourself. You are where you are in life because of the ways you've processed thoughts. You will be where you will be tomorrow because of how you think today.  I wish this had been more suspenseful. This is one of those "it is what it is" moments. A wise man once wrote it this way: "Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life."

• Your thoughts become your fantasies.
• Your fantasies lead to feelings.
• Feelings become acts.
• Acts become habits.
• Habits become your character.
• Your character becomes your destiny.

I'll never forget the first time I heard that last part.  My business law professor told me as I was finishing up my MBA.  He meant it as an encouragement to me.  He was telling me that my life would turn out well because I was a man of character.  He didn't fill out the rest of the formula for me, however.  I took me a while to put it all together.  Turns out he was 100% right.

Your dominant thoughts always become your destiny.  Watch what you think.  Only think on things that will take you the direction you want to go.  No exceptions!  No exceptions ever!  Focus on the content of your thinking and the rest will take care of itself.

One of the ways you can guard your thoughts is by making sure you're reading motivational, educational and inspirational material all the time.  Subscribe to this blog for some good brain and soul food!!

Read More

Never Allow Average to Become Acceptable!

You are NOT an "Average Joe" by any means!  I'm not even hearing that!

The time for settling is over. No more settling in your finances. No more settling in your relationships. No more settling in your passion. No more settling in your purpose! Far too many of you are living below your privilege and have become comfortable there. Consider this your wake-up call. I'll let you hit snooze once. After that I'm coming with the cold water!

Surround yourself with people who expect excellence out of you and also expect excellence out of yourself.  Never settle again!  There is NO REASON you can't walk in greatness.  NONE!!

Read More

Love is a Beautiful Thing.

Love is a beautiful thing. A human can't experience anything greater than being totally naked in front of another person and feeling total acceptance, no shame. I'm praying for this for all of you reading this today!

But you have to choose it. You have to take the chance and let your guard down. You have to forgive and let go of the past. But it's worth it. It truly is.

Blessings!

Read More

For About the One Billioneth Time!

Boy, oh boy, does your environment make a difference! After spending the last couple of days around some of the sharpest, most aggressive people I know, I am so convinced that I needed this! I needed more time around leaders and I got it.  Thank God!

This could be one of my shortest blogs ever. I just want to remind you of a couple of things:

• Iron sharpens iron...and...
• He who walks with the wise becomes wise. 

If I can remind you of those and encourage you to seek out the company of fine men and women, I will have done my job today. That's pretty much it. A reminder. Now do it!!!

Subscribe. Let me help you keep your internal dialogue healthy and productive!  Also, thank God for cheerleaders!  If you need one, let me know!

Read More

The Freedom of Forgiveness

From time to time I'm reminded that this blog is also ministry. I have to keep spreading the Gospel. And there is no gospel that doesn't include forgiveness. And any time we accept forgiveness (which all Believers have) we are obligated to extend grace to others in abundance.

How often? How many times do we forgive those who sin against us?  Probably more than you have as you read this.  If you're like many people, you have a ways to go.  Even if you're into a couple dozen times, you have a ways to go before you come close to the standard set by Christ.

Forgiveness and reconciliation aren't the same thing. One can give and forgive without recommitting to the relationship.  Sometimes it is necessary to keep one's distance.  But continuing to hold grudges impacts your own business, family life, spiritual life and relationships.  You can't continue in health while keeping poison in your system.

And if you tell me it's a process, I'll debate you because I'm not convinced.  To the extent it's a process, I think it's mostly a matter of deciding when you're going to stop letting the poison slowly kill you.  That's about as much of a process as I'm willing to allow.  I think most of the time we call it that to justify why we haven't done it.

I talk about forgiveness a lot, but I understand hurts, pains, dejection and betrayal MUCH MORE than any of you think. MUCH MORE. But I also understand the freedom of forgiveness.  It breaks those ties that were chaining you to your past.  That's the only way to live. When you live looking back, you doom your own future. Keep hoping and living in expectancy!

Blessings!

Read More

Are You Relationship Ready?

I found this tool kind of neat! Click on this link and do the quiz to see how "Relationship Ready" you are. Is it perfect? No. Of course not, but it will give you some things to think about.

RELATIONSHIP TEST

What did you score?  If you're honest with yourself as you take it, I am confident you'll find some things to pray about and work on!  I actually scored pretty high.  Higher than I expected.  LOL

Blessings!

Read More