Dealing with Offense: Part One

You have to learn to deal with offense if you're going to walk in your destiny and enjoy happy and stable relationships. I've learned that. It's funny how it's so often the exact folks who NEED to press through their own sense of offense to get ahead who, instead, let offenses, hurt and pride take them off track.



These people allow themselves to become subject to their own emotions and sensitivities even to the point of divorcing, quitting jobs or even moving to a new city... all because they were offended. If you really want God's best for your life, you have to put your emotions in the back seat sometimes and not let them drive.

This is most tragic when we allow offense to end relationships that used to be so dear to us. You have to learn to get your emotions under control and make decisions with your mind instead of thin skin.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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How Iron Sharpens Iron

A true friend reminds you of your righteousness instead of your wretchedness. Iron sharpens iron. Truth. But how does this happen? I would suggest that it doesn't happen through criticism...primarily because most people don't know how to offer it.

"Mark, but...but..."

Hear me out for a moment. There is ALWAYS a way to say anything. Look up what the Proverbs say about a "word fitly spoken" and share your thoughts with me. Also, remember that it takes eleven sincere compliments to undo the damage of one criticism.

Therefore, let me share THREE ways to offer feedback that will more likely be received and EDIFY the hearer:

(1) Offer "feedback" instead of "constructive criticism" in every case. Just hearing the word "criticism" will make people grow tense. Instead say "May I offer you some feedback?" It's always feedback because feedback doesn't automatically lend a negative connotation to the situation.

(2) Never offer feedback without their permission. If they say "No" it is really okay. The world won't end. Maybe they don't want to hear what you have to say right now. They will live and so will you. Often your feedback hasn't been received well in the past because YOU needed to say it more than they needed to hear it. Get past yourself. If they don't give you permission to continue, don't. Simple as that.

(3) Sandwiches. This is an old technique that still works. Sandwich the feedback between sincere compliments. This is easy. Start with something positive they've accomplished, insert a way they can improve and close with a reinforcement of their value to you and their accomplishments. This reinforces that you're coming from a place of RELATIONSHIP with them and that you're not seeking to sever the relationship by way of your words.

People tend to gravitate towards their praise and grow more by way of positive expectations and reinforcements than from criticisms. It reminds of me a quote I heard from a Philadelphia sports fan who was overhead booing Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt. When asked why, he said "I'm trying to make him better!" How ridiculous to think a Hall of Fame Ballplayer was moved by his boos! I'll bet you a dollar the "great cloud of witnesses" is cheering you on... not waiting for you to stumble so they can point out your flaws.

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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You Only Get One Today. Use Wisely.

How well are you using your time so far today? Are you focused on your MOST IMPORTANT tasks instead of just the urgent ones? Here's how you decide what requires your utmost diligence:

URGENT = Make sure it's urgent for you instead of a case of someone else's urgency trying to make its way into your life. Urgency is often emotional. Manage your emotions and slow down. Even the things that feel the most urgent could sometimes benefit from taking the time to step back a moment.

IMPORTANT = You KNOW you need to do it, achieve it, prioritize it. These are the next things to do. Prioritize them and make sure all are handled in order of priority, not preference. This is real diligence. Doing what you must do instead of only doing what you want to do.

URGENT + IMPORTANT = Give these items your TOP focus at the start of the day. Then shift to the important. Some things just have to be done when they have to be done. No mulling it over. Take care of business!!!

I'm not saying you have to be driven to perform every moment of each day.  Rest is an important part of managing your time well.  I just want remind you that you only get this moment once.  Cherish it, value it and use it well.

To your prosperity!


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Men, Is the Grass Always Greener?

Sometimes the only reason we leave a good and otherwise healthy relationship is because we've bought the hype that something else or SOMEBODY else is going to be better for us. Men fall into that trap all the time. Women, too, but (we) men are so susceptible to visual stimuli that we make that mistake more often, I think. We become so enamored with the way another woman looks at us, flirts with us or strokes our ego that we forget the realities. Everybody has their issues!!

At the same time, we stop appreciating what's good about the woman in our life and focus only on what's bad about her. (Okay, women are bad about this, too! Very bad! I think the main difference is women often have friends reminding them of the bad stuff!) Anyway, we stop appreciate the good and start looking at that lush, green grass across the way and imagining what it would be like to run and play in it!

That reminds me. I love yard work. I really do. I might be one of the few, but there's something about seeing a well-manicured, bright green carpet of grass that really makes me feel good! As I was taking my walk and praying this morning, I was thinking about green grass and how do you make a good lawn.

You might think you do it by pulling weeds. You don't. You build a great lawn by nurturing the grass that you want. As the grass that you want gets stronger and stronger, it chokes out everything else. Spending your time pulling weeds is counterproductive. You can't keep up with them anyway. Spending your time feeding, watering and manicuring the "good stuff" is what brings the best results.

Likewise, there are those who will tell you that you can build healthy relationships by weeding. That's not quite how it works. Feed what you want to grow and the "good stuff" won't leave room for anything else. If you aren't getting what I'm saying, I'm suggesting that you spend more time nurturing what you appreciate about the woman you love and bring more life to that stuff. Focus less on the bad and the good will grow. Then you can enjoy the field you're in a little more.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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Encouragement for Someone. Just relax.

Here's a word of encouragement for someone who's feeling a spirit of lack with maybe a touch of loneliness today: Relax. It's going to be okay.

There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to have a special person in your life. We are made for pairs. Our entire physiology screams it. But if you don't have such a person right now and it hurts, that's okay. Feel it. But don't just feel it. REMEMBER IT. Take note of what you're experiencing right now. Write it down if you must. Perhaps the reason you've been allowed to be alone right now is so you'll appreciate your future partner THAT MUCH MORE!!??

So don't regret. For now, just relax. Anxiety does nobody any good. Look forward. And when you have that person, don't be so upset about the little things. Be glad they are there to share the little moments with you. The feeling of gratitude can keep you together.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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How Badly Do You Want It?

...so you have to decide how badly you want it. Do you want "it" enough to change? Your words SAY you've received a vision - direction from God - but when are you going to totally sell out to bringing it into manifestation.

(You believe that ultimately the "answer of the tongue belongs to the Lord" but you also know you haven't done all YOU can do!)

...so how badly do you want God's best for your life? For your family? Do you want it enough to fast? To pray? To push away that plate? To make an extra phone call? To wake up earlier in the morning or go to bed earlier at night? To invest in your education or at least buy (and read) that book? To knock on a few doors? To step out of your fears and walk in faith? To get your emotions under control and stop letting them drive you?

If there isn't something on that list or on your own that you're willing to do differently, you're still just talking. You don't want "it" badly enough yet.  Join me on Facebook and subscribe to this blog a part of your action!  Let's progress together!

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Order Your "Good Thing" T-Shirt Today!

After many requests, we're finally making these available to the public! Special bonus offer details to come QUICKLY!!! This one is right on time for the Summer!

Click HERE to order!

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What Are You Willing to Give?

"Everything of great value has a great cost." ~Thaddeus Eastland

I know so many men who want heaven without dying.  However, you will NOT move into that happy and healthy relationship you want just as you are now. You must first decide what you are willing to sacrifice for THAT special partner because, I assure you, there is something great you need to surrender.  That is, if you want something great.

Now, I urge you to read this post and then think about it for a moment.  I can think of a number of things many men will have to surrender...

• Humility must replace pride
• Interdependence must replace independence
• The need to be "right" must give way to the need to compromise
• Self-centered thinking must give way to "us/we" thinking
• and on and on...

If you can't think of your sacrifice, pray. Ask the LORD what needs to be put on the altar. Nothing of great value comes cheap...and no sacrifice goes unrewarded.  He who finds a wife, finds a good thing still.  It will be worth it.

Adam had to give up a rib, but he got Eve. And to get Eve, he had to give up a rib.  No sacrifice goes unrewarded.  What do you need to give up so you can get the greater?


To your success,

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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Make Plan "A" Your Only Plan!

Make PLAN A your only plan...especially if you say God gave you the vision.  Most people don’t need a Plan B; they need to fully dedicate themselves to Plan A! How can it be that God’s plan for your life has an alternative? He hasn’t changed His mind. Once you tap into His plan for you, neither should you. Diligence is what most of our plans require, not alternatives.

Be diligent. To quote my Pastor, Thaddeus Eastland, diligence is best defined as "thinking it through, then getting after it and then staying after it." Work as hard as you can. Respond to customers and opportunities quickly. The best ones don't wait for you. Diligence isn't just about working hard, however. It's about rising early and looking for every possible opportunity to achieve a goal – uncovering every rock. The Bible says that "the hand of the diligent makes rich" in Proverbs 10:4. This is just one of the many encouragements in the Bible towards diligence in all that we do.

They say money never sleeps. It does. But it gets up early. This is closely related to the concept of diligence. A word study on diligence uncovers that it carries with it the idea of getting out of bed and getting started early. Personally, I know that my most productive days and "seasons" have been when I've been most intentional about rising and getting to work before everyone else. When I get up late, I often feel like the whole day is close to being wasted. Get up early and get after it. You will be rewarded!

Make joining me on Facebook and subscribing to this blog a part of your plan!  Let's progress together!

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You Have Permission to Be Great(er)!

The Word for somebody today is "Go get it!"

As I was praying a few weeks ago concerning a few specific things that I feel like I'm lacking (both wants and needs are acceptable to pray for according to Phil 4:6), I was commanded to stop asking and go get them!! Then, as I often do, I asked whether I should share this or was that just for me.

Here's the reality for somebody... I'm giving you permission to go for your desires!! Do you want to start a non-profit? Go for it! Do you want to become a counselor? Start a business? Manufacture a product? Broadcast a television show?  Nobody's stopping you but you. You've got permission!  What is it that you've been waiting on permission to go do?  Stop waiting and go get it!

Get your permission slip here --->  LINKY POO and then send me a pic or post it to my Facebook page!!  Thank you!!!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

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