Yet Another Way Pornography Destroys.

I am hearing from a lot of men who are feeling absolutely inadequate and like it is impossible to please a woman. I think this is a real opportunity for ministry! But I can't do it alone.  If you are involved with a man, you (as a woman after God's heart) have a real opportunity to minister to the man to whom God has assigned you! That's all I'll say. Sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping. I really don't know what else to say. I know that you will be blessed if you become a blessing.

Often, when I write this way, the instinct is for several people to reply "Well, what about me and my needs?!" I hear you loud and clear. But you can only be responsible for your own actions. A part of having faith in God is having faith in your relationships to. Even when I post on He Who Finds A Wife, I never let guys respond with "WHAT ABOUT HER???" You have to be responsible for your own obedience to the Lord's commands first and foremost.

The real problem, I think, is pornography. Men see that material and begin to compare themselves to the 2% of men who are enormous size-wise. Those images never leave our minds.  I think this is an area where women can truly minister to their husbands. I mean TRULY minister. It is needed. I talked to several WISE women I know. All talked about skill, technique and foreplay as being the most important things. A few talked about the need to feel "dominated" in regards to a man being sexually aggressive. In other words, it isn't about size.  But I know some great men who are deathly afraid to marry because they think they can't or won't measure up.  They are terrified that their faith, financially stability and love won't matter to a woman.

Here is what one wrote to me. She is a woman who runs two counseling centers for women:

"Mark, Considering a lot of misinformation out there, I want to share both my educational and personal understanding:

1. The “G” spot is only about three inches in, thus if taught correctly, a woman could orgasm unlimited amount of times, literally with something the size of a middle finger.
2. A woman’s vagina is between 3-4 inches deep. 
3. Exceptional large men cannot insert their entire penis…this can easily be seen in even porn. 

Now, as a woman who works with women. Over and over again we find that the thrust is not the key in sexual satisfaction. Being a person who is a seeker of knowledge, I am sure you know a lot about the need to stimulate the variety of erogenous zones in a woman. What you may not know is that “surrender” plays such a key role in a woman’s sexual satisfaction, and the sits squarely on her need of feeling secure. Many women, and men seek all kinds of intensity of sexual play in hopes of getting that high, but the high doesn’t originate in the size, shape, or position as much as it does in the mind. 

And I hear this over and over again with women. They want to blame everything else, but look at their own inner wounds. So, to recap, whether women admit it, or even know it, size does not matter. Technique and relationship is the biggest key in sexual ecstasy."

I got about 30 similar responses from women of various ages and backgrounds. They all said virtually the same thing. Now, maybe you should be more vocal about sharing this with the man you love!?

Also, guys, just leave pornography alone.  It isn't worth it.  Why involve yourself in something that is going to destroy intimacy, productivity and personal peace on top of being sinful?  If you need help, check out Every Man's Battle for some great resources!

Thank you for your honesty and patience! Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!

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5 Ways to Recharge Your Batteries

Everyone feels run down from time to time. That's normal. Burnout occurs when you don't recharge. That's not good at all.  I was in that place coming into the week.  Just tired and feeling like I needed a little break.  If you stay in that place too long, it can lead to feelings of depression.  Unfortunately, I know that, too, by experience.

Even more, I think it's important to come into a new year with a full tank of gas in your tank.  If you're feeling a little depleted coming out of the last couple of holidays, here are some excellent ways to recharge...

1. Help somebody else with their problems.  I've found one of the best ways to get refreshed is to focus on refreshing somebody else.  Sometimes you're feeling run down because you're focused only on your world and your own challenges.  Get outside of yourself.

2. Travel.  See the world through different eyes.  You don't need an airplane to do this.  Drive to work by a different path.  Explore neighborhoods you've never visited within your own city.  Eat at a new restaurant.  There are tons of ways to broaden your perspective.  I find that when I do this, I always get new energy!

3. Get some new ideas.  Invite somebody you don't know very well to breakfast or coffee for conversation.  Ask them questions.  Listen.  It can shock your senses!  Reading does this, too, but I suggest getting some good old-fashioned interpersonal time with someone when you're feeling out of sorts.  I'll grant you this: If you need to retreat and get away from people, do that.  But that isn't the only option.

4. Sleep.  Americans don't sleep.  That is a big part of our problems.  We don't rest.  We don't understand the value of taking time off.  We (falsely) think pressing our bodies through all the warning signs is wise living.  It isn't.  Not close.  Make a habit of unplugging from social media, telephones, televisions and sleep.  I couldn't write a blog about being refreshed without mentioning sleep could I?  Have I beaten this point to death yet?  Take a nap!

5. Fast and pray.  I always come out of seasons of fasting looking at life differently and ready to go forward full steam ahead!!  Google the benefits of fasting.  I run across a lot of people who've never done it before.  If that is you, you are missing out!  The spiritual benefits are the most important to me.  The physical benefits are many, as well.  Honestly, it's a mind, body and soul thing.  All of "you" will be better for it.

What are your best ways to recharge? Let me know below!

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!

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Bathing My Hopes in Prayer

I am determined to get everything God has for me! You just reach a point where you know in your bones it's time to go to another level. Some people HATE talking about "levels" but it is what it is. Call it how you want it, but I believe you can feel when it's time to graduate to new challenges, new experiences, new associations, new happiness and all the rest of it.

That's where I am today. I'm writing this at about 3:30 AM on Christmas morning because I just finished praying and I am filled. My church (I prefer the term "faith family" but then most people wouldn't know what the heck I was talking about!) just concluded a season of fasting and prayer where we were challenged to pray every three hours around the clock for four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas along with having some eating restrictions. I felt like my season for focused prayer wasn't quite over. So I continue...

I am asking the Lord for more clarity, more open doors, more favor, more wisdom and more diligence in my journey. I can feel the season of my life changing. I am happy for what the next chapter of my life has for me. It's that nervous kind of anticipation you used to have before the first day of school on your first day of high school. That's how I feel right now. Confident, but nervously excited about the future.

And I am going to continue to bathe all my hopes and dreams in prayer and life-giving speech until they are fully birthed.  I know that we are to co-labor with the Lord.  You pray and then you work.  But when your work is guided by God's direction through prayer, how powerful!

My hope is that I'll be writing a similar blog around next year at this time!  When it's time to go to another level... again!

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25 Skills Everyone Should Know

A friend of mine had a Facebook post that made me think. She said, we teach children how to read, write, drive, etc. but what are some skills every adult should master? So I posted this as a question on my page and got a flood of great comments.  I was blown away.  Also, it made me start looking at my life and some things I still feel like I need to learn.  I mean, are you really "manly" if you don't know how to trap, clean and cook your own food if you have to do it?

I don't want to get too heavy into what is the definition of a man, but I feel safe in saying most of us grow into adulthood without some basic skills we should have.  Maybe it's because we grow up apart from aunts and uncles so often these days?  Maybe dad isn't around to teach us?  Who knows?  Either way, I think I've got some things to learn and do in the next year!

Here's my list after thinking about it for a minute:

1. Change a tire and use jumper cables.
2. Forgive and accept criticism with grace.
3. Order a wine.
4. Prepare and cool a meal from scratch.
5. Shoot a gun.
6. Tie a necktie.
7. Wash a load of clothes.
8. Balance a checkbook and write a check.
9. Tell a funny joke.
10. Perform CPR
11. Catch and clean a fish.
12. Give a good massage.
13. Replace a missing button.
14. Parallel park a car.
15. Play chess.
16. Shine your shoes.
17. Swim.
18. Buy a suit, proper dress shoes and iron your own shirt.
19. Read your credit report.
20. Pray.
21. Negotiate a better deal.
22. Start a fire without a match.
23. Make a proper introduction, of themselves, and others in a social setting.
24. Properly place and use silverware.
25. Plant and grow your own food.

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Some other great submissions that came from my Facebook friends...

• Write & address a letter.
• Tie a knot.
• Use basic tools (hammer, nail, nuts & bolts, screwdrivers, pliers, the most basic wrenches, etc.).
• Walk, speak, look people in the eye, give a firm handshake, and listen.
• Dance ballroom style.
• Understand sports well enough to enjoy a game with friends.
• Be content.
• Trap and cook a meal.

I am almost thinking there ought to be a class or two where people can come together and learn some of this stuff in a day without being judged.  Would you attend such a class if I put one together?  Anything else? What would you add to this list of essential skills for life? Let me know in the comments!

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!



Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://www.gigsalad.com/mark_anthony_mccray_houston

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Learn How to Get Published from Michael Hyatt

Greetings and Happy Monday!

Here is a link to the GET PUBLISHED Tele-Seminar replay with Michael Hyatt:

http://michaelhyatt.com/get-published-teleseminar-replay

With Michael's permission, you are more than welcome to listen online, download the MP3 and share the replay with others. During the 60 minute call Michael shared several publishing tips and answered many questions from listeners that I know you’ll find of great value.

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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"...all things..." Yes. Even this thing!

I used to have a plaque on my wall that read "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." which is a quote of Romans 8, Verse 28. I've often thought that I need to find or make another. I don't know what happened to that one, but it served as a great reminder to me in the past.

I wrote about this before, but it's heavy on my heart this afternoon. I awoke this morning feeling like someone else could use this same reminder today. Anyone hearing me talk knows I'm always trying to be encouraging and today is no different. It's probably because I so often need encouragement myself.

When times are tough, as they are for many of us these days, it's only natural to become discouraged...to lose hope. But we must not lose hope. We must have faith and continue to press on, knowing that God has his children accounted for in His plan.  Do not fear. Trust in the Lord and He will work all things out. You must know this today.

Of course, you must know that I often write while looking into the mirror and I am encouraging myself today.  Encourage yourself, too.  Fear is a liar!

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

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To Move or Not to Move for Love?

A overheard a man pose a question to a forum recently: "Would any of you ever consider relocating to give a relationship a chance? Or would you want that love interest to move where you are?" It was asked to an audience of mostly women so I was intrigued to hear the responses because the topic really hits home with me.

Almost on cue, a young lady responded "I am EXTREMELY close to my family. If I am not within driving distance, it's a problem. I most certainly would not move."

After a little bit of passionate back-and-forth from people are arguing the pros and cons and after having watched so many of my friends marry, stay married and some divorce, I have to go with the whole "leave and cleave" model as the most ideal approach even if it comes to a new couple establishing themselves in a new city.

My thinking is straight-forward.  A little distance can be the best thing to help keep the "family of origin" out of the relationship because the husband and wife are the nucleus of the new family now. Prioritizing the family of origin is a marriage killer. Blood should NOT be priority over the marriage unless you're planning on that being a short marriage. It is wise to consider where you have roots because it makes holidays and family emergencies (and finding babysitters!) easier to manage, but I also understand that people used to travel across entire continents to start new lives.

Mainly, I see people trying to hang on to the old while grasping something new and it doesn't work. Leave and cleave is in the Word and it still works. But what about your support systems? You develop new support systems. (Proverbs 27:10 talks about this.) It's hard work, but in the end, you'll be better for it. 

I think a MAJOR problem is people want the new without letting go of the old. I've met wonderful women who will say "I'm never leaving Atlanta no matter what!" or "I must be able to eat dinner with my daddy every Sunday!" and even men who allow their mothers to tell them what to do in their own homes (notice the scripture talks about the man being the one who does the leaving). People have to get this. You have to leave the old behind for the new to thrive!

This is personal to me because I've lived it by proxy. My folks are going on forty-three years and I know a major part of it was because of leaving and cleaving. Not long after getting married (a few months?) my mom was on a plane to Germany at 19 years old to go meet her husband at his new post in Fulda, West Germany. Those things force each other together. You NEED each other for a while and that's a good thing! People these days try to set up lives where they don't NEED each other and wonder why relationships don't work. You are supposed to need each other. This whole "You only need GAWWWD!" stuff is brand new in the world and mostly only taught by manipulative preacher pimps anyway. To this day, if you ask even cousins about what's going on in their house, they will only know the very little they are told. My parents understood how to keep others' opinions out.

Side Note: NO MOVING WITHOUT A PROPOSAL, LADIES!!! I can understand that you might not be married and you want to get an apartment and begin setting up a life in a new city, but NO MOVING UNTIL YOU HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER AND NO SHACKING AT ALL!

Being willing to move is just a small part of it. It's mainly about being willing to build something separately together. The more you hold back, the more will be held back. The more you give her, the more you will receive.

Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!

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The Tragic Death of Duty

We were a better nation, a better people, when duty mattered. But duty is dying.

Duty has been replaced by a subtle kind of hedonism that doesn't look debauched but has about the same impact on our world - hordes of people caring little about their tomorrows or anyone else's. The quote about is a prime example of this modern moral. "If if makes you happy, do it. If it doesn't, then don't" Unfortunately, a lot of people believe this garbage and the evidence of it's ethical emptiness are all around us.

"I'm not going to stay with my wife.  She doesn't make me happy!"

"I'm not going to save money for college for my children.  Shopping makes me happy!"

"I'm not going to attend that church.  They don't make me happy!"

I still can't figure out when "happiness" became the most important human ethic worth pursuing.  But, apparently, it is for many people.  Instead, duty says "I'll do it because they need me to do it" or "They will be better off if I stay.  It's about them right now."  Duty is about treating others as if they are more important than yourself.  Duty is acting out of a sense of obligation over pursuing your own pleasure.  Duty is a good thing.

Duty makes men great and men operating out of a sense of duty make the world great.  We can't let duty die.

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!

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Positive Images Create Progress.

Positive images create progress.

I'm a witness!

A great life doesn't being until you being to create images in your mind of what you WANT. Just like an architect can't build from what he doesn't want. He has to create an image - a picture - of his intended goal before anything can happen. The more specific, the better.

You are the same way. Knowing what you DON'T want doesn't create any momentum in your life. Knowing what you want and then putting those images in your mind is what has true power.

On this day, begin to picture what you WANT. Speak it. Tell others. Imagine it in your life. Post pictures around you. Make a vision board. Those images will draw you towards them almost like magic. Positive images create progress!

Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!

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Social Media & Marketing Success (for Leaders, Coaches & Experts)

How can you as a professional speaker, coach, expert and business leader use social media and traditional marketing approaches to effectively and profitably monetize your online presence and market position? Why should you as a professional want to learn the strategy and tools of social media? It’s very simple: LEVERAGE!

Social media isn't going away and more and more, if you aren't taking advantage of the best tools, techniques and approaches, YOU ARE BEING LEFT BEHIND.

You already know what I'm saying. You know you need to

• Get new clients
• Maintain and grow your current client relationships
• Find ways to monetize your commitment to social media. 

That is why I created this training webinar for you complete with the video, full MP3 audio and e-book for you to download today!

In today’s business world, there is a shift in the way we are all communicating. You must keep up in order to stay relevant and to connect with clients in today’s marketplace. I have specifically designed this presentation exclusively for professionals just like you including tangible ready-to-use approaches!

You will learn

1. Where to find your current and prospective clients on the internet.
2. How to brand yourself, your products and your services.
3. How to build and maintain a relationship online.
4. How to optimize your visibility on the internet.
5. How to convey your expertise in order to build client confidence in you.
6. How to manage your social media effort in a consistent way.
7. And much, much more!!  There is too much information in this training to summarize here!

Order now using PayPal!

Available for a limited time for only $277 $37.77!

You will learn strategies to project your status and positioning as an expert so you can PROFIT from helping more PEOPLE! Get this valuable resource with the video, audio MP3 and e-book now! You can't afford to miss these insights, strategies and tactics!

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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