"Every Loss Must Be Grieved"

Every loss must be grieved. You can't deal with pain and disappointment effectively by acting like the "thing" didn't happen. You can't dwell there either. Here's a technique that I use to get past discouragement...I plan ahead for it. Let me explain:

One technique that I’ve used to help me manage disappointment is to set aside time for it in advance. I might remind myself in the morning that something disappointing is going to happen on that day but I must keep moving. I must keep moving!

So, what I do is budget myself a set amount of time – say, three minutes for example – to pout, sulk, feel bad and otherwise mourn how much the day sucks when something inevitably happens that I don't like. When three minutes is over, my pouting is over and I’m back to work making like nothing ever happened.

Everybody has poor days. Even the best of us have moments, days, and even weeks that absolutely kick our butts. I’ve found that the best way to limit the negative impact of a bad season is to acknowledge it, grieve over it and then move on as fast as possible.

This idea comes from sports where sometimes a team will lose a game where they just get demolished on the field…then turn around and lose again the next week to a team they have every ability to defeat just because they’re still dwelling on last week’s loss!

Three minutes might be too short for some incidents. Setting aside a full hour might be too much to allow you to move back into your day.

Times are tough for a lot of people and a lot of folks have dealt with great losses in 2010. I know loss, too.

If you have any more tips for people, please add them or email me. I pray that we all learn to get past "last week's loss" and continue to believe and press for God's best!

Prayers and blessings!

Mark Anthony McCray is the Founder of "Live Big, Die Empty" a movement designed to help people live life more abundantly and walk in the purposes for which they were created. Write or call 832-566-2001 for more information and follow Mark on Twitter at and and


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