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3/29/12

Excellence Requires Persistence of Purpose.

This is timely encouragement for somebody. Don't be discouraged if you aren't "there" yet! It's a process. You have to get with it an STAY WITH IT in the most important areas of your vision. You can't get there overnight. You just can't. Don't let people, the enemy or your frustrations lie to you. It's a process, but you have to stick with it. Excellence takes time to be developed in you.

I've written before about the 10,000 Hour Rule. I believe it more than ever after seeing the results in my own life and in the lives of others around me.


Excellence WILL BE DEVELOPED in you, if you stick with your vision. It takes time. Don't get off track! Please hear me. Don't get off track!! Your enemy wants you to stop before you make it. Some of you, he can discourage early. Some of you it takes longer. He doesn't care so long as he succeeds in getting you off the path. Doesn't matter if it happens early or later, if you quit early, he wins and YOU LOSE!!! And so do the rest of us who are waiting patiently for you to come into your place of excellence.

Keep going!!!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!




3/20/12

Questions...Questions...Questions...Final Exam Time!

Look, I know these last few blogs have been BORING!!!! I get it. It's been all about questions and talking and hard work and all that! I hate even typing them up so I know some of you hate reading them. There's some great stuff in Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3, however, but I'm going to end it here before I make people angry!


I feel like we can stop here. Here are the final questions in the series covering topics such as religion, race and ethnicity, education, culture and class and more!!

EXTENDED FAMILIES

103. Are you close to your family?
104. Are you or have you ever been alienated from your family?
105. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family?
106. Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past; the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you?
107. How important is it that you and your partner be on good terms with each other’s families?
106. How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges?
109. How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions?
110. Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

FRIENDS

111. Do you have a best friend?
112. Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day?
113. Are your friendships as Important to you as your life partner is?
114. If your friends need you, are you there for them?
115. Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends?
116. Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common?
117. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends?
118. Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship? Have friends ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

PETS

119. Are you an animal lover?
120. Do you have a dog, cat, or other beloved pet?
121. Is your attitude; Love me, love my dog, cat?
122. Have you ever been physically aggressive with an animal? Have you deliberately hurt an animal?
123. Do you believe a person should give up his or her pet if it interferes with the relationship?
124. Do you consider pets members of your family?
125. Have you ever been jealous of a partner’s relationship with a pet?
126. Have disagreements about pets ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

POLITICS

127. Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels? What was the attitude in your family about political involvement and social action?
128. Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved?
128. Did you vote in the last presidential election? Congressional election? Local election?
130. Do you believe that two people of differing political ideologies can have a successful marriage?
131. Do you believe that the political system is skewed against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised?
132. Which political issues do you care about? (For example, equality national security, privacy, the environment, the budget; women's rights, gay rights, human rights, etc.).
133. Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

COMMUNITY

134. Is it important for you to be involved in your local community?
135. Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors? For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home?
136. Do you regularly participate in community projects?
137. Do you believe that good fences make good neighbors?
138. Have you ever had a serious dispute with a neighbor?
139. Do you take pains to be considerate of your neighbors (for example, keeping a lid on loud music, barking dogs, etc.)?

CHARITY

140. How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity?
141. Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity?
142. Do you feel that it is the responsibility of the haves of the world to help the have-nots?
143. Have attitudes about charitable contributions ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

MILITARY

144. Have you served in the military?
145. Have your parents or other relatives served in the military?
146. Would you want your children to serve in the military?
147. Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach, or with making change through military force and action?
148. Has military service or attitudes about military service ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

THE LAW

149. Do you consider yourself a law-abiding person?
150. Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it?
151. Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what?
152. Have you ever been in jail? If yes, why?
153. Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances?
154. Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? If yes, describe what happened.
156. Do you believe it’s important to be rigorously honest when you pay taxes?
156. Have you ever failed to pay child support? If so, why?
157. Have legal or criminal issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

MEDIA

158. Where do you get your news (for example, TV news programs, radio, newspapers, newsmagazines, the Internet, friends)?
159. Do you believe what you read and see in the news, or do you question where information is coming from and what the true agenda is?
100. Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news?
161. Have media differences ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

RELIGION

162. Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you?
163. Do you have a current religious affiliation? Is it a big part of your life?
164. When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque?
185. Do you currently practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised?
166. Do you believe in life after death?
167. Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions (dietary, social, familial, sexual) that would affect your partner?
168. Do you consider yourself a religious person? A spiritual person?
169. Do you engage in spiritual practices outside of organized religion?
170. How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs?
171. How important is it to you for your children to be raised in your religion?
172. Is spirituality a part of your daily life and practice?
173. Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

CULTURE

174. Does popular culture have an important impact on your life?
175. Do you spend time reading about, watching, or discussing actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities?
176. Do you think most celebrities have a better, more exciting life than you do? (By the way, if they do, maybe it's because they are living their lives, while you are watching them live their lives. Are you wasting the opportunity and gift to live your own life?)
177. Do you regularly go to the movies, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home?
178. What is your favorite style of music?
179. Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians?
180. Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows?
181. Do you like to dance?
182. Do you like to watch TV for entertainment?
183. Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

LEISURE

184. What is your idea of a fun day?
185. Do you have a hobby that is important to you?
186. Do you enjoy spectator sports?
187. Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports?
168. What activities do you enjoy that do not involve your partner? How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities?
189. How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities?
190. Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling?
191. Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
192. Do you enjoy entertaining, or do you worry that you will do something wrong or people won't have a good time?
193. Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you?
194. Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home?
195. Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present?
196. Do you socialize primarily with people from work, or with people from the same ethnic/racial/religious/ socioeconomic background? Alternatively, do you socialize with a diverse mix of people?
197. Are you usually the life of the party," or do you dislike being singled out for attention?
198. Have you or a partner ever had an argument caused by one or the others behavior at a social function?
199. Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

HOLIDAY AND BIRTHDAYS

286. Which (if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate?
201. Do you maintain a family tradition around certain holidays?
202. How important are birthday celebrations to you? Anniversaries?
203. Have differences about holidays/birthdays ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

TRAVEL / VACATIONS

204. Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody?
205. Are vacation getaways an important part of your yearly planning?
206. How much of your annual income do you designate for vacation and travel expenses?
207. Do you have favorite vacation destinations? Do you believe it's wasteful to spend money on vacations to distant places?
206. Do you think it's important to have a passport? To speak a foreign language?
209. Have disputes about travel and vacation ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

EDUCATION

210. What is your level of formal education? Is your education a source of pride or shame?
211. Do you regularly sign up for courses that interest you, or enroll in advanced-learning programs that will help you in your career or profession?
212. Do you think that college graduates are smarter than people who didn’t attend college? Have disparities in education ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or ended a relationship?
213. How do you feel about private school education for children? Do you have a limit on how much you would be willing to invest in private school education?
214. Have education levels or priorities ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

TRANSPORTATION

215. Do you own or lease a car? Would you ever consider not having a car?
216. Is the year, make, and model of the car you drive important to you? Is your car your castle?
217. Are fuel efficiency and environmental protection factors when you choose a car?
218. Given the availability of reliable public transportation, would you prefer not to drive a car at all?
219. How much time do you spend maintaining and caring for your vehicle? Are you reluctant to let others drive your car?
220. How long is your daily commute? Is it by bus, train, car, or carpool?
221. Do you consider yourself a good driver? Have you ever received a speeding ticket?
222. Have cars or driving ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

COMMUNICATION

223. How much time do you spend on the phone every day?
224. Do you have a cell phone? A BlackBerry?
225. Do you belong to any Internet chat groups? Do you spend significant time each day writing c-mails?
226. Do you have an unlisted telephone number? If yes, why?
227. Do you consider yourself a communicator or a private person?
228. What are the circumstances under which you would not answer the telephone, cell phone, or BlackBerry?
229. Has modem communication ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

MEALTIME
230. Do you like to eat most of your meals sitting at the table, or do you tend to eat on the run?
231. Do you love to cook? Do you love to eat? 232. When you were growing up, was it important that everybody be present for dinner?
233. Do you follow a specific diet regimen that limits your food choices? Do you expect others in your household to adhere to certain dietary restrictions?
234. In your family is food ever used as a bribe or a proof of love?
235. Has eating ever been a source of shame for you?
236. Have eating and food ever been a source of tension and stress in a relationship? Have they ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

GENDER ROLES

237. Are there household responsibilities you believe to be the sole domain of a man or a woman? Why do you believe this?
238. Do you believe that marriages are stronger if a woman defers to her husband in most areas? Do you need to feel either in control or taken care of?
239. How important is equality in a marriage? Define what you mean by equality.
340. Do you believe that roles in your family should be filled by the person best equipped for the job, even if it is an unconventional arrangement?
341. How did your family view the roles of girls and boys, men and women? In your family; could anyone do any job as long as it was done well?
242. Have different ideas about gender roles ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or the cause of a breakup?

RACE, ETHNICITY, AND DIFFERENCES

243. What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child?
244. Which of those beliefs from childhood do you still carry; and which have you shed?
245. Does your work environment look more like the United Nations, or like a mirror of yourself? How about your personal life?
246. How would you feel if your child dated someone of a different race or ethnicity? The same gender? How would you feel if he or she married this person?
247. Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? What are they? Where did they come from? (We are not born biased, we learn it, and it’s important to trace where it was learned.)
248. Have race, ethnicity, and differences ever been a source of tension and stress for you in a relationship?
249. What were your family’s views of race, ethnicity, and difference?
250. Is it important to you that your partner share your vision of race, ethnicity, and difference?
251. Have different ideas about race, ethnicity~ and difference ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

LIVING EVERY DAY

252. Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night person?
213. Do you judge people who have a different waking and sleeping clock than you?
254. Are you a physically affectionate person?
255. What is your favorite season of the year?
256. When you disagree with your partner, do you tend to fight or withdraw?
257. What is your idea of a fair division of labor in your household?
258. Do you consider yourself an easygoing person, or are you most comfortable with a firm plan of action?
256. How much sleep do you need every night?
260. Do you like to be freshly showered and wearing clean clothes every day, even on weekends or vacations?
261. What is your idea of perfect relaxation?
262. What makes you angry? What do you do when you are really angry?
263. What makes you most joyful? What do you do when you are joyful?
264. What makes you most insecure? How do you handle your insecurities?
265. What makes you most secure?
266. Do you fight fair? How do you know?
267. How do you celebrate when something great happens? How do you mourn when something tragic happens?
268. What is your greatest limitation?
269. What is your greatest strength?
270. What most stands in the way of you creating a passionate and caring marriage?
271. What do you need to do today to move toward making your dream marriage a reality?
272. What makes you most afraid?
273. What drains you of your joy and passion?
274. What replenishes your mind, body, and spirit?
275. What makes your heart smile in tough times?
276. What makes you feel the most alive?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!


Top Ten Ways to Know You Don't Have the Gift of Singleness

I tell people all the time that unless you're circling the globe preaching, teaching and converting people to Christ, you most likely don't have the gift of singleness. Here are some other ways to know!


10. You find yourself wishing you had a hug. Maybe even right now.
9. You like the idea of building a life with another person and being their support.
8. You feel like your family is incomplete...or you want to start one.
7. Netflix on a Friday night is getting old. Really old.
6. You miss having somebody to talk to and pray with at the end of a long day.
5. Hanging out with just your "boys" or "the girls" ain't doing it for you anymore.
4. You know you can contribute more to the kingdom in partnership with another.
3. Trying to remember when you had your last date just pisses you off.
2. You appreciate sharing financial burdens and planning together.
1. You're still screwing...don't plan to stop...or wish you were.

(Because it's virtually impossible to Live Big Die Empty with jacked up relationships.)

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!


3/19/12

The Nine Most Powerful Words You Can Utter


"Where do you feel like you are right now?"

When you are working with a new prospect or just following up on a lead, once you have let them talk and tell you all about the deal or their situation, ask them this question.

It might seem redundant - like they just finished telling you the answer to this question - but I assure you you'll get more from asking this question than just more details about the loan request. When you ask someone where they feel they are, they will start to share more of their hurts, pains and frustrations -- leading you that much closer to getting their business.

"Where do you feel like you are right now?"

When you ask it directly (and sympathetically), the responses you get will lay out the path towards winning your prospect's trust and transform them into a client. By asking them their perspective, you've changed from a salesperson to a business partner, moving from across the table, figuratively speaking, to a seat next to them.

Bonus: When people say that they are frustrated with what they have been hearing from other service providers or don't like how they've been treated, the best question is the most direct. Your reply should be along the lines of this: "What exactly have the other lenders said that you haven't liked?" or "What is the other web designer telling you that doesn't make you comfortable?"

Does it sound like you're trying to angle to get their business? Of course it does! YOU ARE! ...and they will appreciate the direct approach more than you might think. Looking for more guidance? Help is on the way! Order your copy of "10 #MonsterTips: How to Sell More and Earn More NOW!!!"

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


3/18/12

Stop Being Such a Rookie.

Back when I worked in VC, we considered the people who were overly obsessed with "protecting" their ideas to be rookies. It was laughable. In fact, asking someone to sign an NDA was enough to get the meeting cancelled right on the spot!


It wasn't that anybody wanted free reign to "steal" ideas... it's just that good ideas are a dime-a-dozen. Literally. We used to call it the "San Francisco Rule" meaning this: any good idea has eight people thinking the same thing at the same time somewhere in Silicon Valley. If no one else had the idea, it probably sucks.

A lot of people miss important details because they won't talk to smart people about their ideas to make them sharper. They are so secretive that they end of spending months of wasted time when a wise adviser could have saved them all that time.

What's my point? So what someone's copying your idea? Take it as a compliment. The winner will still be the one who builds the best team, creates the best plan and then executes that plan. Focus on execution.

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


3/13/12

Great Questions to Ask Before Marrying!? - Part 3

As I said in the blogs, one reason for a high failure rate in marriages is how little people talk before getting hitched! We talk about music, TV shows, sports, etc. but so little about faith, life, expectations, work.... It's great to share common interests, but there are millions of other San Antonio Spurs fans, to use a personal example, and I can't marry someone based on my love of basketball. We've got to do a better job of making sure people we want to be with long-term share our values systems!

You have to prepare to be married!

As promised, this set of questions look at the diet/health, looks and parenting approach questions!! How important are your partner's looks to you?? These should be good! Remember to look over Part 1 and Part 2 for the rest of the series!


HEALTH

57. How would you describe the current state of your health?
58. Have you ever had a serious illness? Have you ever had surgery?
58. Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself? Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows?
60. Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?
61. Do you have health insurance? Dental insurance?
62. Do you belong to a gym? If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week?
63. Do you play sports or take exercise classes?
64. Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship?
65. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?
66. Have you ever been in a serious accident?
67. Do you take medication?
68. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
69. Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?
70. Do you see a therapist?
71. Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked?
72. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction? Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree?
73. How much alcohol do you drink every week?
74. Do you use recreational drugs?
75. Do you have a medical problem that affects your ability to have a satisfying sex life (for example, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, drug/alcohol addiction, etc)?
76. Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

APPEARANCE

77. How important is it that you always look your best?
78. How important is your spouse appearance? Do you have strong preferences about being with a particular physical type?
70. Are there cosmetic procedures that you regularly undergo?
80. Is weight control important to you? Is your spouse weight important to you? What would your reaction be if your partner were to gain a significant amount of weight?
81. How much money do you spend on clothing every year?
82. Do you worry about getting old? Do you worry about losing your looks?
83. What do you like and dislike about your appearance? When you were a child, were you often complimented or shamed about your looks?
84. What would your reaction be if your spouse lost a limb? A breast? How would you handle this loss?
85. Do you feel that you can have good chemistry with someone who is moderately physically attractive to you, or is a strong physical attraction necessary? Has physical appearance or chemistry ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

PARENTHOOD

86. Do you want children? When? How many? Are you unable to have children?
87. Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children?
88. Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children?
88. What is your view of fertility treatments? Adoption? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?
90. What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion?
91. Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption?
92. How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family?
93. Do you believe that a good mother will want to breast-feed her baby? Do you believe a mother or father should stay at home with a child during the first six months of life? The first year? Longer?
94. Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in (time-out, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc.)?
95. Do you believe that children have rights? Do you feel that a child’s opinion should be considered when making family and life decisions, such as moving or changing schools?
96. Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation?
97. Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior?
96. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active?
97. How would you handle it if you didn’t like your child’s friends?
98. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active?
99. How would you handle it if you didn't like your child's friends?
100. In a blended family; should birth parents be in charge of making decisions for their own children?
101. Would you ever consider getting a vasectomy or having your tubes tied? Do you believe it’s your choice, or does your partner have a say?
102. Have differences concerning conception or child-raising ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!



In the final post of this series, Part 4, we look at religion, race and ethnicity, education, culture and class and more!!

Duh. Pinning!


Great article suggesting that "Pinterest now drives more referral traffic than Google+, YouTube, and LinkedIn combined." Oh, yeah... here's mine! I have to admit. I think it's pretty cool so far! http://pinterest.com/markmccray


I must admit that two days there has done more for me than months on Google+ or LinkedIn. I'm not alone in my thinking. Here is an article showing major brands are closing their Facebook stores and taking up on Pinterest with a high ROI.

‎1. I'm newer to this business than a lot of people and decided to follow some advice of those more experienced. People like Pamela Lawhorne and Pam Perry and Brendon Burchard always talked about how IT IS EASIER TO SELL TO YOUR AUDIENCE YOU'VE ALREADY CREATED than to try to build a new audience from a new product. Therefore, for me, a lot of it is about branding. My approach was to begin to establish my brand and get my name out there before I even had something to "sell" to the market, so to speak.

Tools like Pinterest have helped MORE in two weeks than I could have imagined in terms of increasing my site visitors, blog traffic, blog subscribers and even twitter followers than anything I've done on other social media (LinkedIn, Google+) over the course of months. People STILL do business with people they like, so showing people more about your interests and who I "am" has been interesting, effective and fun for me!

2. I have it linked to my Twitter. It tweets things that I "pin" on my boards. I have my blogs and business Facebook sites pinned, too, and people have picked up on that after seeing some common interests. For example, "This guy likes Arrested Development, too!? Cool. Let's see what else he likes." It has NO DOUBT made my Twitter presence more valuable instantly. More of what I've tweeted has been seen. I like that.

3. The novelty of it! It's new. Soooooo..... in terms I would whisper if we were talking together... it gives you another new excuse to market yourself. Also, when people adopt a new technology because of you, guess who one of the first people they are going to follow is going to be? YOU! So instead of just joining Pinterest, I chose to make it an "EVENT" and tell a lot of people I'm joining Pinterest.

For people in our business, they will tell you that building your permission-based marketing list is what it's all about. These are people I can market to down the line ad infinitum. My lists have increased more in the last couple of days than a month of begging could buy me. Will it last? Who knows? If you listen to people like my friend, Kamau Austin, it's clear that some big pockets are betting that it will.

To your success!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
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Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


Duh. Pinning.


Great article suggesting that "Pinterest now drives more referral traffic than Google+, YouTube, and LinkedIn combined." Oh, yeah... here's mine! I have to admit. I think it's pretty cool so far! http://pinterest.com/markmccray


I must admit that two days there has done more for me than months on Google+ or LinkedIn. I'm not alone in my thinking. Here is an article showing major brands are closing their Facebook stores and taking up on Pinterest with a high ROI.

‎1. I'm newer to this business than a lot of people and decided to follow some advice of those more experienced. People like Pamela Lawhorne and Pam Perry and Brendon Burchard always talked about how IT IS EASIER TO SELL TO YOUR AUDIENCE YOU'VE ALREADY CREATED than to try to build a new audience from a new product. Therefore, for me, a lot of it is about branding. My approach was to begin to establish my brand and get my name out there before I even had something to "sell" to the market, so to speak.

Tools like Pinterest have helped MORE in two weeks than I could have imagined in terms of increasing my site visitors, blog traffic, blog subscribers and even twitter followers than anything I've done on other social media (LinkedIn, Google+) over the course of months. People STILL do business with people they like, so showing people more about your interests and who I "am" has been interesting, effective and fun for me!

2. I have it linked to my Twitter. It tweets things that I "pin" on my boards. I have my blogs and business Facebook sites pinned, too, and people have picked up on that after seeing some common interests. For example, "This guy likes Arrested Development, too!? Cool. Let's see what else he likes." It has NO DOUBT made my Twitter presence more valuable instantly. More of what I've tweeted has been seen. I like that.

3. The novelty of it! It's new. Soooooo..... in terms I would whisper if we were talking together... it gives you another new excuse to market yourself. Also, when people adopt a new technology because of you, guess who one of the first people they are going to follow is going to be? YOU! So instead of just joining Pinterest, I chose to make it an "EVENT" and tell a lot of people I'm joining Pinterest.

For people in our business, they will tell you that building your permission-based marketing list is what it's all about. These are people I can market to down the line ad infinitum. My lists have increased more in the last couple of days than a month of begging could buy me. Will it last? Who knows? If you listen to people like my friend, Kamau Austin, it's clear that some big pockets are betting that it will.


Still need more convincing like my friend pictured above? Here is a free guide on how to use Pinterest for Business. There's no reason why you can't make Pinterest a part of your overall winning sales approach!

3/12/12

Black Peoples' Christmas?

It's been a while since I've written specifically about money. However with "Black Peoples' Christmas" season upon us, I thought it was finally time to follow up on Part One of "A Financial Plan for Black America" by posting several ways you (anybody really) can use their tax return to improve their financial situation for once and forever.

I heard a friend of mine call getting a large tax check the term "Black Peoples' Christmas" and the term never left me. I'm not trying to be offensive, but you have to admit it makes a catchier blog title than "blah, blah, blah... what to do with your tax return...blah, blah, blah." I'll leave that to the people at Motley Fool or CNBC or somebody. I like my title much better. Plus, that's part of how this social media/blogging thing works. You have to grab folks' eyes.


Anyway...back to my point...here are some things you can do with the money you get back that have nothing to do with flat screen televisions...

1. Save it. Just because you have it, doesn't mean you have to spend it. Not now. Maybe not ever. One thing to consider is setting all or part of it aside for a rainy day, a college fund, an emergency fund equal to 3-6 months of your expenses or whatever good use you've had a hard time working into your regular budget.

2. Pay down debt. If you have high interest rate credit accounts, use this as a time to pay down the debts by paying well beyond the minimum payment or erasing it altogether. By now you know that most amortization schedules are designed to enrich your creditor. If you're paying the minimum on a high interest rate credit card, you might never pay it off fully. They hide that in the small print. Don't believe me? Play around with a good loan calculator. You'll see that making minimum payments on fairly small amounts can have you paying three times the amount of the principal for decades. Just going a little bit about the minimum can cut years off your repayment plan.

3. Invest in repairing your credit. I talk a lot about how having a better credit score can do so much to improve your overall financial situation. You can borrow at much lower rates, purchase a home (perhaps for the first time!) and save tens of thousands of dollars over the course of just a few years just from having a better credit score. It might cost a little bit, but it's well worth every penny.

4. Play. There's nothing wrong with playing. However, why not set aside a small amount and plan it out in advance? For example, think about using 10% for just anything you want to do and don't put much discipline behind it. You'll get the thrill of doing something unplanned for yourself, but also the freedom of knowing you were wise with the 90% of it. That should bring a smile to your face.

5. Donate. Is there a cause close to your heart that could use a timely gift of your support? Do you know a family that could use some help? Even a basket of groceries could mean everything to a family living close to the line. Perhaps even be a blessing to your church? Nothing given with a good heart is ever wasted. Your sowing always comes back to you in multiples. Think about whether this is a good time to do a little something for someone else. You can make a small wave that ripples throughout eternity.

6. Complete a home improvement project or service your car. Either of these has lasting benefits. I always say that cars give you trouble at the wrong time ALWAYS! Here's a chance to get ahead of your most trusted family member, your vehicle. Tune it up. Change the oil. Get some new tires or get the brakes done. You know you'll have to do them all anyway and it's better than waiting until you're on the side of the road calling AAA to realize it. You can also do something to your home to increase its value and comfort. Paint. Insulate. Do that landscaping project you've been putting off. You'll be able to enjoy your refund for years and years to come.

7. Start a Business. Perhaps I've saved the best for last?! What's a better use of unexpected funds than investing them into something that will generate money in multiples for months, years or even decades? Again, you don't have to spend money just because you have it. Work on your business plan and then come back to it knowing you've got the seed money you need. This might be just the right time for you to do something special.

(By the way, getting a large refund IS NOT A GOOD THING!!! It means you've allowed the government to borrow your money interest-free over the course of the year. The goal should be to shrink your returns and save more money during the year.)

What else can you do with a tax refund check? USA Today says the average refund is about $3000. That's more than a little bit! Shoot me some ideas!! Be blessed!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!


"That doesn't work for me."

I like it when people are strong and confident enough to tell people where they stand...what they need and prefer out of life. I love it! Of course, there's always a way to say everything, but I won't chase that rabbit right now...

The point to this post is how you can be so forthright in telling others around you what "works" or doesn't work for you, but take so little time to look at your own life and results to have the same conversation with yourself. I do it from time to time whenever I'm feeling like I'm not being as productive as I want to be. I literally pull out a sheet of paper and review what works and what doesn't. It's a reminder to leave unproductive habits (patterns of behavior) in the past and embrace productive ones.


That's a horribly over-exposed picture, but I'm sure you can tell that's my list. As I launch into the second half of my day, I needed a refresher and, by now, you know how much I believe in writing things down. I also need to remember to smile! Be blessed!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!


Great Questions to Ask Before Marrying!? - Part 2

As promised in Part 1, here are the Sex and Relationship questions! You might consider printing these out and using them as a conversation piece over dinner or coffee! That way you can use me as the bad guy! Say it's my fault for bringing these up! These are the good ones...


I rarely read AskMen.com but I found an article that shared some great advice for all of us...

In the early stages of a relationship, talking about an ex should be completely off-limits. They just aren't relevant to the new thing you have going on. Later, as you start to find out more about each other, references to past boyfriends/girlfriends should be limited -- ideally to just a name, a time and a description of why it ended.

It's important to show you aren't still emotionally involved in the relationship, which means you shouldn't recount every little thing she did to hurt you. When giving a reason for the breakup, stick to generalities, such as “We were heading in different directions” or “We just outgrew each other,” rather than a blow-by-blow account of every argument you had.

Don't overplay all the bad points of past relationships in an attempt to show the new girl you're over an ex. You'll come across as bitter and still stuck on it. This also sends warning signals to her that if the two of you break up it could be a nasty, drawn-out process.


Good stuff. But, still, at some point I've learned you need to lay your cards on the table honestly.

RELATIONSHIP HISTORY

33. Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? Were you able to name your fear?
34. When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it?
35. What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn?
36. Have you ever been married? If so, are you divorced or widowed? How do you think you handled the loss?
37. If you have a current partner, do they know of behaviors that you exhibited in your previous relationship that you are not proud of?
36. Do you believe that past relationships should be left in the past and not talked about in your current relationship?
39. Do you tend to judge current partners on past relationships?
40. Have you ever sought marriage counseling? What did the experience teach you?
41. Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in the future?
42. Have you ever been engaged to be married but didn’t go through with the wedding?
43. Have you ever had a live-in partner? Why did you choose to live together instead of marrying? What did your experience teach you about the importance of marriage and about commitment?
44. Do you harbor fears that the person you love might reject you or fail out of love with you?


SEX

45. What sexual activities do you enjoy the most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable? Be specific! This is no time to hedge.
46. Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why?
47. What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
48. Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted?
48. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about? Who taught you about sex?
50. Do you use sex to self-medicate? If something upsets you, do you use sex to try to help you feel better?
51. Have you ever felt forced to have sex to keep the peace? Have you ever forced someone or been told that you forced someone to have sex with you to keep the peace?
52. Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage?
53. Do you enjoy viewing pornography?
54. How often do you need or expect sex?
55. Have you ever a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex?
56. Has sexual dissatisfaction ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

Next time...in Part 3...the diet/health, looks and parenting approach questions!! How important are your partner's looks to you?? These should be good!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!


Great Questions to Ask Before Marrying!? - Part 1

I was watching Tyler Perry's incredibly average and boring as heck new movie, Good Deeds, or something and even though it wasn't supposed to be a comedy, it made me laugh more than once! When Gabrielle Union and Tyler are breaking up, she reveals to him that she doesn't even want to have kids! Wow! Really? They live together and are days or weeks from getting married and this is just now coming up?

It's amazing how little some couples discuss before making the most important decision of their lives!


Here's what I'm going to do about it! Here are some great questions to talk about with your special someone. These should make for some great conversations and lead to more real intimacy if you answer with transparency. Good luck and be blessed!

WORK

1. Are you working on your chosen field?
2. How many hours a week do you work?
3. What does your job entail? (For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks?)
4. What is your dream job?
5. Have you ever been called a workaholic?
6. What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?
7. Have you ever been fired?
8. Have you ever quit a job suddenly? Have you changed jobs a lot?
9. Do you consider your work a career or just a job?
10. Has your work ever been a factor in the break-up of a relationship?

HOME

11. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
12. Do you prefer urban, suburban, or rural settings?
13. Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer apartment or condominium living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance? Are you a do-it yourselfer, or would you rather hire professionals? Do you prefer to clean your own home or hire a housekeeper?
14. Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?
15. Is quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Kitchen? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on?
16. How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone?
17. Have differences about home style ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
18. If you had unlimited resources, how would you live?
19. How important is it for you to make a lot of money?
20. What is your annual income?
21. Do you pay alimony or child support?
22 Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances?
23. Do you believe in establishing a family budget?
24. Should individuals within a marriage have separate bank accounts in addition to joint accounts? Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person's salary?
25. Who should handle the finances in your family?
26. Do you have significant debts?
27. Do you gamble?
28. Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? Before high school?
29. Have you ever been called cheap or stingy?
30. Do you believe that a certain amount of money should be set aside for pleasure, even if you are on a tight budget?
31. Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship? Has anyone ever tried to control you with money?
32. Has money ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?


Next time...in Part 2...the sex and relationship questions!!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!


3/10/12

The Art of Giving Advice

You know how you can tell a judgmental person? Their language includes a lot of "should" and "ought" statements. It's just something I listen for when I talk to people. It doesn't bother me personally. It just lets me know the kind of person I'm dealing with. But do you know who cares? The people listening to you!!

A lot!


Professional "counselors", "advice-givers", "teachers", "coaches", "pastors" and other "experts" might want to be careful about how aggressively they use the terms. Some people shut down when they feel like they are being judged. That's all. People are free to be whomever they are. It's just something to watch for if you're in the business of consulting people.

This is one of those nuggets I learned but rarely drop in public. It applies to relationships, too. My study and well-worn observation is that I would advise my single sisters and married women to use "should" statements sparingly when talking to men. Guys tend to be sensitive and the woman often doesn't know what encouraged him to shut down emotionally.

Here's another free tidbit... so it might be worth what you paid for it...

Instead of "telling" or "teaching" people things, it's more effective to say "Let me remind of you of ....." because it gives them credit for already knowing it. (Even if they really didn't.) They feel more respected as you share with them if you say "Let me remind you that you can blah...blah...blah..."

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


3/8/12

Man on Fire.

For a lot of you, the only thing separating you from your vision is what the old folks call a "made up mind." You are still "okay" with the possibility of your dream not coming to pass. You haven't yet decided that you will see your vision happen NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!

Don't fool yourself or over-spiritualize this by arguing that it's all in "God's hands" or up to "the universe" to make it happen. Once he got a vision, do you think Abraham wasn't totally consumed with it? Do you think Paul waivered? NOPE! Neither should you! Solomon said "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..."


One of my favorite Denzel Washington movies is "Man on Fire" for this very reason. His character, Creasy, is a former assassin hired to protect a family (a little girl) in Mexico City. He swears vengeance on those who committed an unspeakable act against the family he was hired to protect. And when I mean he aims to get his vengeance, that's exactly what I mean! He is determined, focused and relentless! He is on fire!

If you're doing what you've said God told you to do, you should look like the craziest, most obsessed and driven person your friends and family know! Everyone around you should know YOU WILL NEVER QUIT until you've seen what God showed you manifest!

Your thoughts? Are you on fire for something? For someone?








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!




3/7/12

Choose Wisdom over Weakness

When is the last time you asked someone for their opinion regarding what you should do? And really listened!!???


Seeking input when you're facing the challenging decisions of life is not weakness; it's WISDOM! Learn how to ask people around you a simple question - "What do you think?" - and it will change your life by helping you make better decisions. Of course you still make the final determination, but there is great wisdom and victory in a MULTITUDE of counsel, i.e., seek as much feedback as you can get when you're facing major decisions!

"Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory." ~ Proverbs 11:14

"Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days." ~ Proverbs 19:20


"Prepare plans by consultation, And make war by wise guidance." ~ Proverbs 20:18

I'm always amazed at how much pride people take in "doing their own thing" or saying "I don't listen to anybody but GOD!" It's funny to me because...

A) "Doing their own thing" usually hasn't worked that well for them and...
B) It's God Himself who repeatedly tells us to GET COUNSEL and GET TEACHERS!!!

Honestly, I think it's because He knows we have a hard time hearing Him in the heat of the battle. For many of you, your emotions sound strangely like the "voice of God" when you're pressured.

Seek input. Get counsel. Talk to people. That's not weakness; that's wise.