You know how you can tell a judgmental person? Their language includes a lot of "should" and "ought" statements. It's just something I listen for when I talk to people. It doesn't bother me personally. It just lets me know the kind of person I'm dealing with. But do you know who cares? The people listening to you!!
Professional "counselors", "advice-givers", "teachers", "coaches", "pastors" and other "experts" might want to be careful about how aggressively they use the terms. Some people shut down when they feel like they are being judged. That's all. People are free to be whomever they are. It's just something to watch for if you're in the business of consulting people.
This is one of those nuggets I learned but rarely drop in public. It applies to relationships, too. My study and well-worn observation is that I would advise my single sisters and married women to use "should" statements sparingly when talking to men. Guys tend to be sensitive and the woman often doesn't know what encouraged him to shut down emotionally.
Here's another free tidbit... so it might be worth what you paid for it...
Instead of "telling" or "teaching" people things, it's more effective to say "Let me remind of you of ....." because it gives them credit for already knowing it. (Even if they really didn't.) They feel more respected as you share with them if you say "Let me remind you that you can blah...blah...blah..."
Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!
Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!
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