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12/31/13

Pass the soap.


Sitting here reflecting on what kinds of behaviors I need to leave behind as the pages on the calendar turn and (for me) changing my language is probably #1.  I really need to wash my mouth out with soap.  Specifically, NO COMPLAINING!!!  NO DADGUM COMPLAINING.

We've become a complaining, bitching, griping society afraid to compliment and praise people.  It's so funny and sad to me at the same time.  But all I can really do is make sure I'm different.  I have to talk in ways that minister grace to those who hear my words.  I have to make sure I speak life into my own world and those around me.

If I can do that, I think that would be a great place to start.  What if everyone who encountered you knew they would come away encouraged, edified and comforted?  Wouldn't that be awesome?











Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

12/18/13

6 Things You Didn't Know About Marriage


I stumbled upon a cool little video recently.  It's from Jenna McCarthy.  Not Jenny McCarthy.  Yeah.  I had to get that one straight myself!  Jenna McCarthy is the author of "If It Was Easy They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married" which gets points for a great title even if it isn't a great book.  (I haven't read it yet so I don't know!)


http://www.ted.com/talks/jenna_mccarthy_what_you_don_t_know_about_marriage.html

I have a heart for this issue because of the mistakes and errors I've made myself.  But every marriage doesn't have to fail.  In fact, success is predictable.  "50% of marriages end in divorce" is what I call a lying statistic.  Why?  Because it is NOT 50% for those who do some basic things.  Here are a few of her suggestions (with my commentary) on how to have a successful marriage.  Love her insights!  Buckle up.  She is blunt!

1. Wives, keep yourself more attractive and thinner than your husband. There is science to this. I promise! And before you get mad at me, get mad at her if you want to.  I'm just telling you what she says.

2. Focus on the positives/praise-worthy moments. I've written about this recently.  There is (according to research) an ideal praise-to-criticism ratio.  We have to learn how to catch each other doing something right.  I remind my fellow men of God this all the time.

3. Husbands should help out domestically.  This leads to more/better sex and happiness at home. It turns out that washing a few dishes goes a loooooooong way to help and heal a marriage.

4. People who smile in photos divorce less often. The eyes are the windows of the soul.  Perhaps this is more pertinent to the singles, but it is no less true.  Look at photos.  You can see whether they are hard-wired for happiness or grief.  Agree?  Disagree?

5. Watching romantic comedies causes relationship dissatisfaction. You have to learn to free yourself from the fantasies.

6. Divorce is contagious. The people with whom you spend your time matters A LOT! You have to be intentional to place yourself in the company of those who are striving to make it.  Quitting too soon becomes a habit.  You can catch that attitude. Get around those who are happy and know how to work through it when they aren't.  Everything could hinge on this.


I've also come to understand that you must work to keep the "love bank" full.  Small kindnesses, gestures, non-sexual touch are all ways to do this.  (Guys, even if Valentine's Day doesn't mean much to you, it probably means something to her.  A unique Valentine's Day gift for her can go a long way!)

If you need help changing the way you see some things and yourself, join my Relationship Readiness Group. You'll love it as study together with a particular focus on how to prepare yourself for love and healthy relationships!  If YOU need this kind of help, join this group.

Remember this, too, as a bonus idea... A well-timed gift can work wonders!  Don't get caught forgetting important dates.

Blessings!

~Mark Anthony




Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.comPhone: 281-846-5720 Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmptyFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmptyLinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/postsYouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccrayPinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/ Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

12/7/13

14 Books for 2014! (How Many Have YOU Read?)


"When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes." ~Erasmus

"You should never read just for enjoyment.  Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends’ insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick hard books. Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for god’s sake, don’t let me ever hear you say, I can’t read fiction. I only have time for the truth. Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of literature? That means fiction, too, stupid." ~ John Waters

"No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance." ~Confucius

I asked my Facebook and Google+ friends for their best recommendations for a superb reading list for 2014 and they really stepped up to the challenge! Here are the ones that bubbled to the top.  If you're needing a little jolt, some new direction or insights for the new year, check these out!


1. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell - This is one book I wish had been written and I had read years and years ago.  Truly remarkable!  I've recommended this book to dozens.  Of course, I'm already a big fan of Mr. Gladwell.



2. Rhinoceros Success by Scott Alexander - One reviewer said "If you are serious about improving your state of being this book is perfect. I make a habit of reading self help/motivation books and this book stands alone as succinctly giving you fine points of becoming a better you. Many of the book's points have been made in other places but this book so refreshingly reminds you of thing you know you should be doing but are not, reminds you of past success, and perhaps introduces some new concepts. A must read if you are looking for success self help books."  Sounds like quite an endorsement and this one goes on my list for sure!



3. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Dr. Willard Harley - The title kind of says it all.  Phenomenal book that is real and not at all judgmental.  Whether married or single (or not sure what you want to be) this is a treasure trove of information and encouragement to become a better partner and to receive better partnership!



4. The Travelers Gift by Andy Andrews - Every person who's read this book has raved about it without exception.  This book is a little Og Mandino and a little Steven Covey.  Nothing wrong with those comparisons at all!

5. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz - I'm intrigued by this book.  It was recommended to me several times.  Not sure if they are trying to tell me about the book or me? I guess I'll have to find out.  I need to grow in several areas anyway.  I'm sure this will help.


6. Getting Everything You Can Out of All You've Got by Jay Abraham - I'm already on record as believing that Jay Abraham is a business genius.  He's the man with the track record to show for it.  Fortunately for you and me, he's got the communication skills, too.  Not only do I learn a lot from his writing, but I enjoy it. #GameChanger




7. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson  - This was given to several members of top management at a company for which I used to work.  It wasn't a coincidence that a round of layoffs was soon to follow!  Nevertheless, it is about dealing with and prospering through change - something most people can use these days.



8. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill - It's about the journey and the person you become along the way.  Don't think this book is about greed.  It's really about YOU.  Timeless classic.



9. The Millionaire Mind by Thomas Stanley - Along with The Millionaire Next Door, these are fantastic reads.  I like "The Millionaire Mind" a little more because the author includes the practical steps and thought patterns up-and-coming millionaires employed during their rises.


10. You Can Negotiate Anything: The World's Best Negotiator Tells You How to Get What You Want by Herb Cohen - This man is FUNNY and really makes you think about how the game of negotiation is played so that EVERYBODY wins.  This is a book for every entrepreneur to read and re-read from time to time.


11. If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg  Of all the books in the list, I am most likely to get this one next for myself.  That's where I am right now - needing to learn how to walk on water.



12. The Janitor: How an Unexpected Friendship Transformed a CEO and His Company by Todd Hopkins - Amazon says in this fable, "Janitor" Bob Tidwell helps Roger to reevaluate how he is leading his business and his life. Bob's counsel is based upon six principles that Todd and Co-Author Ray Hilbert discovered have the most impact on succeeding in business while holding together a personal life. Their insightful advice is delivered in a real-to-life story that inspires you to find greater fulfillment in your life."  This is another I've not read but comes highly recommended.  I will let you all know what I think, I'm sure!



13. Becoming a Person of Influence: How to Positively Impact the Lives of Others by John Maxwell - I recommend John Maxwell because he writes from a spiritual perspective without clubbing you over the head.  Good man.  You'll like him if you don't know him yet.



14. The Spiritual Life by Andrew Murray - Because it's not all about money and accomplishments.



Just so you know I got about fifty very strong recommendations.  Waaaaayyyy too many to feature.  I will be making the ones I haven't read a personal priority.  Can you think of anything I've missed?


Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.  Comments?  Please share them below!



11/29/13

The Incredible Praise-to-Criticism Ratio


One quality I have always observed in people is how they use their tongues. Do you promote healing? Does you build up? Or do you criticize, condemn and destroy? (Yes. Sarcasm fits into the destructive category, I'm afraid.)

"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing." - Proverbs 12:18

It is said that it takes several compliments to undo the damage of one criticism. Harvard says effective teams have a ratio that works: 5.6 compliments for every criticism. They call it the "Praise-to-Criticism" Ratio.

Long before I knew what to call it, I knew Solomon's words. I also wonder whether this applies to successful marriages and child rearing. I suspect you know which way I'm leaning on that. So I watch people. I watch them in real life. I watch them online. I read their tweets. I look at how they talk to their children. I can't tell you how important this measure of a man or woman is to me. If you can't build people up, you can't be in my life. If you can't minister hope and grace, I can't be in a relationship with you and I must not compromise on this.

Candidly, these days I openly wonder whether some of us would have anything to say if we weren't ridiculing somebody.  Sigh. We've got to do better, saints. We've got to do better.  If YOU need this kind of help, consider joining one of my coaching programs. 



Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.comPhone: 281-846-5720 Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/ Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter.

Get Your Hopes (and Your Goals) Up!


Get your hopes and goals up! Generally-speaking, you're going to get just about what you expect so why not expect more?

My own experience is in line with this.  In so many areas of my life, I've accomplished my goals. What I realized, however, is that I've still been sighting my sights too low. So I sat down yesterday for a redo. I recast my goals. You should do the same!  I'm going to celebrate my victories and press higher.  I'm not going to look back and regret anything.  ONLY FORWARD!  ONLY FORWARD!  In Christ, my past has zero to do with where I'm going now.  The past is no precedent for your future either.  ANYTHING is possible for you.  As I always say, you can get anywhere in the world you want to be from right where you are now.

If you're a member of my coaching group, check my latest post for two additional helpful tips! If you aren't, CLICK HERE for more information and join today! We will help you get your goals up!








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

11/7/13

It's OKAY to be Excited!

I see so many people stifle their enthusiasm about people, events, themselves, their future.  They say things like "Today has been great... so far." or "I actually enjoyed that movie."  It's like someone is going to punish them for showing genuine joy and excitement about something.  Or... and this is true oftentimes... they have a hard time praising one thing without criticizing the other.  Shame!

However, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." I believe this covers great companies, great ministries, great health and even great relationships! Let your "Inner Tigger" out today!

It's okay to be excited! It really is.  It helps, too.

#MoreTiggerLessEeyore








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

11/3/13

How to Raise Your Level (Part 2)


In the previous blog, we talked about The Thermostat Principle.  Now, as promised, here are the first five things you need to change to adjust your thermostat settings!

1. Your thinking: As a man or woman THINKS in their heart... What is the content of your thinking? Challenge yourself to think about higher thoughts, to dream bigger dreams. Because your thoughts become your speech...

2. Your speaking: Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Even if you have stray thoughts) Don't allow yourself to have stray words. What comes out of your mouth kills and gives life. Also, your words become your decisions...

3. Your small decisions: Every decision matters. Every choice you make counts. You're always going towards your vision or away from it with everything you do so make this work to your advantage. This is critical because your small decisions become habits...

4. Your habits: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle Habits are the sum of the small decisions you make over and over. Habit is not a bad word. The question about a habit is what direction is it leading you? Towards your image of your best self or away from it? Take a look at your habits and decide for yourself. Also, you've heard it said before and here it is again. You can't stop a bad habit; you have to replace it with a good one. Work on this. It will be hard, but necessary. Because your habits are your character. You can't forever say, "I do this, but I'm NOT that!" Eventually, your habits are who are you are... We also call that character.

5. Your character"Character is destiny." - Hericlitus The person who develops a great character never has to worry about what life has in store for them. They will always prevail. It is inevitable. Character IS destiny.








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

11/1/13

How to Raise Your Level (Part 1)

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

If we really understood those words, it would change our lives. I can tell you the very day I got on the path to true success because it was the day that I realized that the whole process started between my ears! I was then and I am now what I believed I was.

You are who you think you are! No more. No less. In your heart or soul - the collection of your mind, emotions and will - you have created a definition of yourself and so have I. All of us do this. And our outer world continually manifests what that set of definitions in the same way that a thermostat will always adjust the temperature of a room back to its setting.

I call this "The Thermostat Principle" and you should keep reading!

Think about it this way. If the thermostat of a room is set for 74 degrees, what happens when the door is opened on a hot day? Right! The air conditioner will turn on and begin to blow cold air until the room gets back to the level for which it’s been set: 74 degrees. If the thermostat is set for 74 degrees and it’s a cold day outside, the furnace will kick on and blast warm air into the entire house just to get the temperature in the room back up to 74 degrees. The entire system is set up to make sure it returns to that setting – the definition of “comfortable” with which you have set the thermostat.

Our systems – our lives, relationships, work, habits – everything tend to line up to bring us back to our internal setting. When I first really, truly understood this it made me kind of sad and somber. I looked at what I felt like was a lack of productivity and a lack of success and realized that I had created my own world. For better or for worse, I was 100% responsible for what I saw as a result of how I thought.

I had set my thermostat to “Just Above Average” and left it there for years! Therefore, no matter difficult things became from time to time, I was always able to get my life back to just above average. When I would experience big successes, I would follow them up with a setback or something that would bring my life back down to just above average. If new opportunities came to me, I would habitually choose the ones that produced more just above average-ness instead of the ones that opened a door to possible greatness. My thermostat was constantly adjusting my world.

Through it all, at least my thermostat was working! I could take some victory from that, right?

So then it made me happy after I got over myself! I got happy because I knew that I was just as close to changing my life by changing my thoughts! If the way I thought and the way I thought about myself had created a just-above-average life, then elevating my thoughts could elevate my life! Right?!!

Exactly.

There’s another thing, too. If you leave the door open so that it’s difficult for the temperature to come back to the proper setting, the air conditioner or furnace will literally go all day and all night trying to get back to the setting for which they are programmed, burning up a lot of energy in the process. This is what happens in a lot of our lives. We burn ourselves out and used a lot of energy to try to change the circumstances in our lives – our temperature – but we don’t realize that it’s more productive, faster and costs us less energy to just change our settings.

My next task was to begin to search for ways to rewire my brain. I discovered how important it is to stay plugged in to people who value what I value and who are going the way I'm going. That's why groups like this are so important!

In the next blog, the 5 things you need to do to change your thermostat settings!








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/30/13

Do You Belong to NATO (No Action; Talk Only)?


Two of your greatest enemies are THOUGHTLESS ACTION and THOUGHTFUL INACTION. Both work to rob you of God's best and both must be eliminated from your life! To Live Big Die Empty, you must operate from a place of THOUGHTFUL ACTION everyday.

"Thoughtless action" means just living life moment to moment, reacting emotionally to things that happen around you and allowing other peoples' whims and desires to set your agenda. Most people live lives of thoughtless action from sunrise to sunset, day by day, for years. Some dwell in thoughtless action their entire lives.

"Thoughtful inaction" hinders a large portion of the rest of you. You think and think and think about great plans to change your life, your family's life and even the world. But you remain stuck in your thoughts - feeling good for having the heart to think of the good you'll do, but never taking a step towards doing it.

"Thoughtful action" is where you must live. You dream, plan and think, YES! But then you get up and take a step. You measure what went right, what you would improve upon and then you take another step. Then you think, measure and take another step. You take thoughtful action until it becomes a habit. Always assessing and always acting.

Thoughtless actions ruin lives. Thoughtful inaction kills dreams. It is thoughtful action that changes your world. But, remember... both are required! Thought without action is a waste of energy. It only frustrates you and those around you. Action without thought will cause more harm than it creates good.

Resolve today to be a thinker who doesn't get stuck in thought!








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/25/13

How Your Disadvantage is Really Your Best Advantage


Three chapters into the book "David and Goliath" and author Malcolm Gladwell has quoted more scripture than most preachers!

Gladwell has declared himself an Atheist and all but I've shared with a few friends in my private circle that the "book" isn't closed on this guy yet. If you are a friend, I've told you that I think God is working on him. I believe this even more now.  If he continues to say he is an Atheist, I just won't believe him.

I hate to tell you preachers, but this man will help you preach your "five smooth stones" sermon much, much better! The whole book is about how what you thought was a DISADVANTAGE may be your biggest asset. Very intriguing so far. Oh... there is more "preaching" from another Bible story in it, too, but I will leave that for you to discover.


Predictably, some of his usual fans are criticizing him for this book. One even said that Gladwell has disabled a part of his brain with this book. Apparently, using an example from the Word to tie to modern encouragements is just too much for his normal crew. I get that.

Still. An outstanding read so far that I recommend to you.  You know from previous blogs that I dig this guy.  The point you should take away from this book is that you have tremendous tools already in your hand.  God has already equipped you well.  Use what you have.  Just start there and see what happens!








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/24/13

Going the Extra Mile In Your Relationships


Overcompensate.

"Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two." - Matthew 5:41

Krystle S. Talley of The Christian Chameleon would say this means to go the extra mile to compromise, love, and give grace to your significant other. I think that is a great take on it.  The Bible might also call this bearing one another's burdens.

When it comes to dating as divorced people, one thing we have to be aware of is that the other person (especially if divorced, as well) has suffered unique harms and I believe we must be ready to overcompensate for them.

Let me give an example so you can personalize this. If he is dealing with abandonment issues, bear with him. Warning: This takes work!!!  Relationships are NOT for the selfish!   Do little things to show that you are loyal - even where you might think they are unnecessary gestures. Normally, these gestures would be overkill, but you're dealing with a man who may still need some healing in that area.  Likewise, if a woman has been the victim of years of verbal abuse or criticism, should not a man of God be intentional about building her up with his words? Of course!

(Side note: Nobody will be 100% healed when you enter into relationship with them. Neither will you be.  I don't believe it's possible this side of Heaven. We can let that fantasy die right here!)

If you are drawn to someone, consider that you may actually have been given a burden in the spirit for that person. And if you have a burden for somebody, bear with them and help them bear their burdens. You will need to do a little extra. Jesus might call this going the extra mile and I think it very much comes into play when dealing with people who've been bruised.

Consider this, too.  Must not everything we do or say minister grace in Christ?

If you need help changing the way you see some things and yourself, join my Relationship Readiness Group. You'll love it as study together with a particular focus on how to prepare yourself for love and healthy relationships!

In our time together we work through various facets of preparing for meaningful relationships and marriage beginning with setting Godly relationship goals and much more.  Additionally, we will use a private Facebook group to share materials, engage in candid discussion and post announcements for each of the personal coaching calls.

If YOU need this kind of help, join this group by clicking the image below! Only $5 per month!! 

Our next group coaching call is coming up Sunday! Claim your spot today!


In the mean time, as you work this out, learn to be humble and strong enough to change. As we've talked about before, there's nothing wrong with giving a little ground to get along better.  It doesn't make you any less of a person nor any weaker of a person.  God bless!


Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.comPhone: 281-846-5720 Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmptyFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmptyLinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/postsYouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccrayPinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/ Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/23/13

Dreaming of diligence and waking to walk it out...


I love sharing my dreams with you all.  I try to do it while they're fresh so I don't forget the details.  Here's from last night...

I was digging around in my front yard near the sidewalk under some of the decorative bricks that lining the concrete walk. (Why? Who knows? It was a dream.)

Digging. Getting my fingers dirty, I discovered a coin. A penny most likely. And then, finding that penny, I decided to keep digging. I found a dime, a nickel, a quarter, a few more pennies. Another nickel or two. Basically, my digging was guaranteed to be profitable. Every time I stuck my hands into the ground and searched I was going to find something. Pretty cool. Pretty soon my pockets were jingling and beginning to fill. "Why not sit here all day digging up coins?" I thought. There would be no harm in it. I could keep picking up loose change until I had to go inside, right?  After a while, I resolved in my mind that things were pretty good. Dig. Find. Dig.  Find. No worries.

After a while, something curious happened.  I uncovered a coin I didn't recognize. It was large, muddy of course, and covered with strange writing. Odd. Brass most likely. It was a little dull to be gold. Not very heavy for its size either. But certainly large. Yeah. Pretty sure it was brass.  Pretty sure it wasn't from the US.  I couldn't even figure out the language the writing was in let alone translate it.  Interesting.

I washed the mud off and took it to a guy I knew who was an appraiser. I had no expectations. I left it with him and went home. I had a pocket full of coins. My day had gone well, I'd say.

A few days later the man called me back.

"Do you know what this is?"

"No" I replied. Because I didn't.

"Where did you find it?"

"Don't recall.  Somewhere." Lying because I didn't want to tell anybody.

He hung up the phone without any further words.

His reaction made me nervous that he was going to try and steal my new treasure, so I went down to his shop right away and asked for it back. He obliged and handed me the coin which I placed in my jeans pocket - in the left pocket apart from my usual loose change - and left.

The man never told me what the coin was or what it was worth. I never found out. All I know is that as I walked down the street heading home a couple of dealers called me offering to buy it. Even they never made an offer. They simply said they needed it and asked me what I wanted. Clearly my friend had let it slip that I had found something special. To be honest, I was more amused and intrigued than anything. My mind started wondering just how much my find was worth. $10,000? $50,000? $100,000? More? Who knows?! I had no idea, but I didn't begin to allow myself to dream exciting dreams of travel... luxury... debt-free living! Oooooo.... I wonder what this thing is??!!!

Nearly home, I passed by the park. A group of mimes (do mimes perform in groups??) stopped when they saw me walking by and gave me an ovation.  They had heard about my discovery, as well.

That is about when I awoke. I still don't know what I found. All I know is that it was my diligence in mining the small coins that made it possible to find the treasure. That's all I know. 

When I was alert enough to separate dreams from real life, I prayed and thanked God for the renewed encouragement towards diligence. I also prayed that He would help me walk out this lesson in my waking life - that I would not forget the power of diligence. To remind myself, I shared a few notes from my blog with you on my Facebook page this morning. In all transparency, I posted to remind myself as much as to help you, dear reader.  I need us all to remember that...

Diligence uncovers great treasures!  My prayer is for greater diligence. For me and for you.

If you ask me nicely, one day I will share the second lesson I learned from this dream...








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
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Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/11/13

A Nation of Haters?




When did we become such a nation of haters? I am disappointed in this. That's an understatement! It's sad to me that we used to be a nation of people who aspired to greater. Now we just want to get by, antagonize those who want more for themselves and then try and take what they earn. Jealousy, envy and rivalry have filled the hearts of so many that it's unusual to hear sincere congratulatory statements anymore.

Think about how rare it is to find someone who will celebrate with you. It's more common that people will celebrate when you cry.

Even compliments are too often backhanded - only offered wrapped inside a criticism towards the target or someone else... "You look nice today... unlike that ugly person over there..." or "You look a lot better today than you normally look..." or, as I heard someone say the other day, "Scandal is good.  At least it doesn't suck like... "   I am screaming inside "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY YOU LIKE SCANDAL AND LEAVE IT AT THAT!?!?"

To me the cause is clear. Too much time spent minding other peoples' business and not enough on your own... because you have no business of your own to excite you! You see, it's easy to criticize when you take no chances of your own. And you hurl accusations at others because it hurts your heart to be honest - those criticisms are for you! You're angry with and disappointed in yourself!

Here are the guidelines for my life and my personal circle: I don't spend time with people who can't appreciate others, who can't compliment, who can't care. I won't entertain your comments. You don't have access to my emotions. There are enough of your kind around. I'm sure you can find some company. In the mean time, the rest of us will be making progress towards our visions. I aim on giving people more to envy.

I've noticed how difficult it is for some of us to give sincere compliments consistently. Complaints seem to roll off the tongue a lot easier. "Feedback" will be offered whether requested or not. I'm issuing myself a Live Big Die Empty Challenge today: No complaints, no deprecation; only praise and appreciation. Everyone I encounter today will receive "exuberant edification" instead of constructive criticism. How about you?

It takes nine compliments to undo the damage of one criticism.  How much damage have you been doing to yourself?  To others?  It's time to start healing and building up!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/8/13

7 Ways to Form A "Pack" So You Can Hunt Bigger Game


We've talked before about what each of us can learn from the lion, the king of the jungle. I've got a particular fondness to lions because of a couple of things the scriptures teach us about the nature of these big cats and how we're to emulate them.  We also know that too many of us spend too much time and too much effort for too little result because we try to fight alone. .Here are some things you can do to start forming your own pack and going after bigger game.

#1 - Make a list of all the people who care about the issue. Really care about it.

#2 - Identify two of them to talk to. Set up a breakfast or lunch meeting. Lay out my aspirations to see if they are interested. My goal is to get another meeting with them.

#3 - Brainstorm with the first supporter about a list of (mostly unempowered) targets who might like to get involved. Put together a tight schedule for contacting 5-10 people from that list.

#4 - Start a master file listing all the people that I want involved in the project.

#5 - Never let a chance to brief a co-conspirator or potential co-conspirator pass.  In other words, never pass up a chance to tell your story!

#6 - Find an enthusiast to use the product/service.

#7 - Put this first enthusiast in charge of finding others.

It's as simple as that.  We have to stop trying to do so much alone.  And, for my friends reading this... Yes. I am looking in the mirror right now!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

10/1/13

Becoming Your Best Self



This has been EVERYTHING to me. If you're on my personal page, you saw me talk about this the other day. Even so, take this a reminder. Now you've heard it twice and you're accountable.  This is something I had to learn and practice for myself and I can tell you honestly.... this way lies happiness and fulfillment! 

You have an image of your best self in mind. Everyone does. Whether you see yourself as a speaker, an author, a teacher, a student, a wife and mother, a happy husband greeting his family at the door, everyone has a picture in their mind of their best self.

My encouragement to you today is that it is important that you take steps towards that picture every day. I can't stress enough how important that is. For some of you, it is a matter of life and death. Too long operating outside of your ideal image damages EVERYthing in your life. It can lead to health problems, challenges in your spiritual walk, relationship problems and parenting issues. Believe me. I know! It can even lead to depressive states.

Some call it "cognitive dissonance" when you have something YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE DOING but you continue to allow yourself not to do it. For example, you KNOW you should launch that business, but you hesitate. You KNOW you should ask that woman out on a date, but you don't. The longer you continue to deny your best self, the more you begin to lose that self.  You begin to slip backwards.  You become frustrated and often don't know why.

Keep taking steps towards who you know you're meant to be. A wonderful added benefit is how great you will begin to feel about yourself and your life once you know you're fighting for progress even in small ways! Go forward! #BabyStepsCountToo #KeepMoving








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

9/5/13

"Fortune favors the bold."


Normally there's only one quality separating those who are successful in achieving meaningful goals and those who aren't: a bias towards action. You're thinking about doing it; they're doing it. Or trying it.

"Develop a bias towards action!"

Makes no difference between the two because once you get going, it's easier to correct your course. They always said it's easier to steer a moving vehicle, right? Either way, the longer you contemplate, the less likely you are to EVER achieve what's really on your heart to do. The calculations of what can go wrong will keep mounting in your mind.

The only way to fix this is to commit to acting and ACT!  Yesterday I posted about "fortune" a few times. By "fortune" I do not mean "luck" since luck is too tied to chance. When I say fortune, I'm speaking of opportunity.

Fortune is a woman, if you neglect her today expect not to regain her. - Unknown

Fortune, being a lady, favors the bold. - Nicolo Machiavelli

You will never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

There's a common theme in all of these thoughts: The more you act... the more you take chances...the more you go beyond what you're usually comfortable doing... the more you will succeed!

Now get out of my way.  I've got moves to make, too!









Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!