Changing Direction

Indiana Jones taking the walk of faith...

There is no great lesson packed into this blog entry today. It's just me talking...writing. I'm not even sure what direction the next sentence will go. All I know is I am busting my butt working on taking my life in a new direction after years in hard money real estate lending...which I still plan to do lightly...and this is the toughest set of challenges I've ever faced in my life.

...and I feel like I'm doing it in front of the world. I get a lot of support from family, friends and even church members, but I know about half of them are holding their breath trying to see what happens with me. I've got a few "haters" too. Everybody trying to do anything significant has haters. The only way to make sure you don't have haters is to disappear from society. That's not an option.

So...I'm accepting speaking engagements and speaking. E-mail me! I'm rounding out my event calendar for the Fall. They've been going well so far. People like me. On the inside I feel like my heart is going to pop out of my chest because I know I'm learning on the job. I hope it doesn't show too much but I keep reminding myself "Every Master was once a disaster." as T. Harv Eker says.

I'm finishing my first book. It's done. I am preparing it for editing and publication. This ought to be interesting! I know I've got at least five more inside of me. I sent out early drafts of a few chapters a couple of days ago. That was terrifying. You want to know fear and judgment? Pour your heart into learning a new skill, perform it in PUBLIC and then ask people for their honest opinions!

I've also got to figure out how to make all of this make money. But I'm not interested in making money. I'm interested in earning MONEY!!!! I'm comforted by the fact that I'm moving in a direction that allows me to leverage my time, talent and energy much better. That's a good start. I know you can't get rich trading time for money. I've done that for years. I've earned a lot of money in my life, but there's always a limit because if (WHEN!) you run low on energy, time or health, you cut off your earning potential. I'm going to the right direction now.

I'm also doing the things I know I've been created to do. This makes me not only the Founder but the "First Student" of Live BIG! Die Empty. and I want it that way. I will build my career by writing, speaking and teaching on things I've experienced myself and put into practice. There's more integrity in doing things that way.

So, that's all. I can't think of anything else I want to share right now. Pray for me. If you want to support me, pre-order my book. There is some really, really good stuff in it. If there isn't, I'm sure people will let me know!

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"The (Forgotten) Proverbs 31 Man"

In Christian circles, so much is said about the "Proverbs 31" woman without actually reading and studying the passage.  I can appreciate all the T-shirts, organizations and "Proverbs 31" posters that we Christians like to sell and buy, but every now and then we've got to get back to the basics of the scripture and what it teaches.

Here's one basic: as we see in verse two from Solomon's most well-known passage: the Proverbs were written by a man to his son.  (We'll come back to that in a moment.)

I've always thought it was interesting how we tend to handle this one chapter from Proverbs by ignoring its first nine verses. There is a lot more to it than the virtuous woman.  She's married, after all.  I'd almost forgotten that myself and had to be reminded that Chapter 31 doesn't start at verse ten. I highlighted some of the most important teachings for men below:

#1 -  The primary audience of for the chapter is MEN...it is a book written from a man to his son. Let's stop beating women over the head with one under-understood chapter. If anything, it is supposed to help us identify a GOOD woman. It doesn't appear to be a manual for us to ridicule women.

#2 - "Do not give your strength to women." means we have to be disciplined and maintain our discipline. Solomon alludes to his son displaying kingly behavior and whoring after women is definitely not for kings. We have to be about our missions.

#3 - Drinking to excess is for those who are perishing. It isn't for rulers and kings, like you are. Get it together and put down the Patron. Most of verses one through nine deal with maintaining sobriety.

#4 - Defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.  Elsewhere, Solomon teaches his son that it's only the righteous who even understand justice. We must stand up for those people who can't speak up for themselves. This is kingly behavior, kings.

I can't ignore that the bulk of the passage is describing a wonderful woman, wife and mother of virtue.  I can only remind the reader that Solomon is seeking to show his son what she looks like and how she carries herself.  I don't know where she got all of these great qualities.  Perhaps she was taught by her own mother?

Suffice it to say we have no license to run around showing random women how short they fall of the Proverbs 31 standard.  The chief pupil, men, is the man reading these words.  We must ask ourselves, therefore, are we disciplined, sober and just in all of our actions for these are the character traits to which Solomon, the Koholeth, is trying to inspire us.

Amen?

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Mark's 10 "Be's" of Social Media

(I just thought this was a cool picture of bees.)

People ask me all the time for my tips on how to use social media to advance your business, expand your network and overall improve your life. Forgive the stiff introduction...everybody has their own reasons for using any social media outlet. It's nearly impossible for me to see through the computer screen into your motivations.

If you are anything like me, you've got a number of motivations. For example, I use Twitter mostly for therapy...I've read that 85% of "tweets" are ignored, so it's a decent outlet for getting things off your chest without much repercussion. On the other hand, I use Facebook when I want a response. People can't help giving their opinions on Facebook and I usually design my postings to allow them to do it. I love it.

Google+ and LinkedIn and there and I am still working out their place in my own life. I can tell you I've made a number of great business contacts and online sales as a result of LinkedIn, so I know it's good for that. Here are my guidelines. I follow them pretty well. Let me know what you think.

1. Be there. I am reading that 40% of people still don't have Facebook accounts. Okay...so you don't care what I had for dinner. But here's the problem: your prospects and customers care what you had for dinner and, if they can't find you, they'll forget about you. These days, the first thing a new prospect will do is Google you. They expect to be able to find you and connect with you quickly.

2. Be active. If you're going to have a Twitter account, by all means do some tweeting! It's another way for people to engage and learn more about you. Believe it or not, people pay attention. If you advertise a Twitter account and people log on to find ZERO tweets, what are you telling them about your attentiveness?

3. Be anything but boring. The worst thing you can be is boring. The worst! Say something. Do something. Take a picture of something. Take advantage of the chance to let your personality shine through. Don't worry. People will like you.

4. Be authentic. While you're focusing on being exciting, remember to be yourself. People can tell a phony from a mile away, so don't be one of them! I advised you to be anything but boring and I stand by that. But don't put on a show either. People get sick of that and the last thing you want to be considered is a joke.

5. Be transparent. When you're being truly transparent, you will feel naked. If you aren't showing people something of your true self, you're wasting your time and everyone else's. People are often afraid that being transparent will alienate people, but that couldn't be further from the truth. You might lose a contact or two, but the strength of your other relationships will more than make up for any loses.

6. Be business-minded. I've found that the people who are most fruitful with social media are ALWAYS ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS even in the midst of posting about their fishing trip. That's great. Just don't be all about business all the time or people will tune you out because they'll feel like you're "selling" them on something.

7. Be leveraged. It doesn't have to be hard work. There are a ton of tools that make using Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn and even your blog easier to use. HootSuite and TweetDeck are two of them. SocialOomph is another. With TweetDeck, I can post updates and photos to all of my sites and groups at once whenever I want to and follow all the replies in one place. It's much more sane than bouncing around from page to page posting and replying.

8. Be blogging. Sometimes you have more to say than 140 characters (the Twitter limit) can contain. Facebook allows 420 characters. But what if that isn't enough? Start a blog. With Blogger and Wordpress, it will take you about two minutes. You have no excuse! You might even use your blog as sort of a personal journal. Go for it. I'm confident you have some interesting thoughts to share.

9. Be bold. This relates to my thoughts about business, blogging and such. You can't be bashful. You have to be bold. If you need help overcoming a challenge, say so! You might be shocked at how quickly people will come forward with assistance. If you need more customers to come by your cake shop, say so! The old axiom "A closed mouth doesn't get fed" is still true and maybe more true than ever as more and more birds are chirping.

10. Be ready to take it offline. Social media is great, but doesn't replace the good, old-fashioned sales call or networking meeting. Take advantage of opportunities to connected with your online friends whenever possible. Put together your own event, if you must. Meeting people with whom you've only interacted online previously is exciting! I promise you'll get some stories to tell if nothing else.

Like, anything else, you will get out of social media what you put into it. The law of sowing and reaping works there, too. One thing is for sure: it isn't going away. Social media are a part of our world and part of our future. Therefore, we all have to make sure they work for us and our goals instead of against us. We certainly can't opt out.

If you are looking for helping understanding social media and building your own strategy, check out this resource! It's perfect for you! Also, I'm hear for your questions.  Let me know how I can serve you!

Mark Anthony

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3 Ways You Can Be a Real-life Superhero!

(By the way, those are real people pictured above.)

Need a movie to watch that's a little different? Check out "SUPERHEROES" and tell me it doesn't change your perspective on some things...a lot of things. This docu-movie tells the stories of the growing Real-Life Superhero Movement and its "heroes" who are fighting crime, patrolling neighborhoods and dark city streets and generally doing good in cities all over the country. Chances are you have a few in your city, too. You might even be one.

(More on that in a minute.)

When the movie first starts, these people come across as half-crazy idiots. I'm not gonna lie. Who puts on a costume (some of them call their outfits uniforms because they are there to serve) and walks around looking for trouble-makers? Who trains in martial arts and makes their own utility belts? Who paints a Corvette into a Super-mobile? Insanity.

But is it? After a while, you see these are people who've made a simple decision that a lot of us have yet to make. They will not let the world around them go to hell in a hand basket and do nothing about it! They will not remain silent. They will make a change...even if small. The world will know they were here. What if people knew something good was going to happen every time they saw your car coming?

Bravo!

(Some of them are still crazy, I think.)

So...I'm watching these men and women leave home every day to walk the streets looking for wrongs to right and it strikes me: what in the hell am I doing to make a difference? A REAL difference? I'm looking at this guy who calls himself "Zetaman" along with his wife and another named "Master Legend" and realize that (while they're wearing bright tights and armor) they are sponsoring food drives, bandaging injured homeless people and pulling drunk drivers off of the road. Meanwhile, I may have been watching the lastest episode of Breaking Bad. Maybe I'm the crazy one? This guy pictured below, Mr. Xtreme, helped catch a rapist who is now serving 34 years in prison.

Anyway. I'm determined to no longer watch and SMH at people who are in financial despair, lonely, purposeless and ignorant of how to do better. I've set my heart and mind on becoming a real-life superhero. For real. Call me LiveBig Man or something! I'll work on the name. I promise. In the mean time, I'm starting on the most important part of the process. DOING SOMETHING!! Superheroes are allowed to change their names and their uniforms anyway. Batman's done it several times.

Want to join my League of Justice? Here are three ways you, too, can be a superhero:

1. Care. We have to start caring again. Our hearts can't be cold when we see hungry and hurting people. We have to care. I'm guilty of having a heart of stone at times. I've cared, but cared more about my own vision more. Now I see that my mission is to use my vision to make a difference on this side of life that will ripple throughout eternity. That's real impact.

2. Do something...anything! The Bible often records that Jesus was filled with compassion. Compassion isn't just feeling badly. Compassion has a couple of important elements when we examine the word more closely. First, it means we feel another person's suffering almost as if it is our own. Second, it means we act out of this feeling to alleviate the pain. Feeling pity isn't compassion. Very few people, if any, need your pity. People need your compassion.

3. Start today. Decide where you're going to make an impact and get started. You can do something today. You can sow a seed into someone's life. You can pray for someone. You can visit a friend from whom you've not heard in a long time. He or she might be longing for someone to reach out to them. Volunteer at the local school to read to some children. There is something you can do to be a hero is someone's life today wherever you are.

Remember this: the world needs you. Injustice must not stand. You and I can do great works through Christ. We are not in the battle alone as Believers. Let's be about His business. Need some inspiration. Watch the movie and then tell me what you CAN'T do. The Dark Guardian (pictured above) needs your help!

What would your superhero name be?

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What Should I Teach My Children About Money?

My daughters get so excited when their birthdays come around. I love seeing their faces light up. One of them, my youngest, does the "countdown" thing. You know what I mean. She starts telling people her birthday is coming about two months away from the date. And, like so many young people in America, they are spoiled by their wonderful grandparents with money and gift cards. They get so excited thinking and talking about all the new things they're going to buy: jewelry, hair accessories, books, candy and gum, assorted trinkets and other things that most adults usually regard as crap.

No big deal perhaps, but I get concerned. On the one hand, they are kids. Why stand in their way of spending every possible nickel they can scrounge together on Laffy Taffy and Nerds? Who cares if they have a growing collection of lip glosses and bottle caps beyond the number of lip glosses and bottle caps anyone should own? Does it really matter? I think it matters for everything, and I'm out to make sure they learn Biblical principles of stewardship and prosperity now.

How we teach our children to handle money, matters because so many of our attitudes and aptitudes are developed early in life. It matters because most of us want our children to do better than we have done and excel where we feel like we've failed. It matters because we ourselves are merely stewards over the great gifts' God has given us in them. We are charged with delivering back to God mature, Godly people who will glorify Him by way of their choices and lives. How we teach our young people to handle money matters. That’s why I'm not excited to hear them plan on buying every Snickers bar in the store!

Here are three eternal Biblical principles I am convinced we are required teach our young people about money as early as they're able to understand (and even before in some cases):


1. Everything is the Lords. Honor God with your choices and use your resources to make a difference.

"FOR THE EARTH IS THE LORD'S, AND ALL IT CONTAINS." ~1 Corinthians 10:26 (NASB)
For a Believer, the key to relating to material goods is understanding that everything belongs to God. Everything. Then, the questions of whether to tithe, give, support ministries or otherwise show generosity in our communities become a lot easier to answer. When the Lord blesses us, we are not to grasp onto every penny for dear life with closed fists. When the Lord places resources at our disposal, it is an opportunity to show the world His heart. I want my daughters to know this.

2. Only a fool spends everything that comes into their hands on their pleasures.
"He who loves pleasure will become a poor man; He who loves wine and oil will not become rich." ~Proverbs 21:17 (NASB)

It is okay to use resources to enjoy life, but hedonism leads only to poverty. I prefer to tell them to spend, but spend wisely. Enjoy, but never go overboard. Solomon wrote about there being such a thing as "too much honey" and how it makes everyone groan. I want them to know the best of life, but also be prepared for the future by making sure she's setting aside for it. W. Clement Stone once said "If you cannot save money, then the seeds of greatness are not in you. “How many of us have looked back and groaned at all the money that went through our hands for which we have nothing to show? Too many. I want my daughters to know this, too, and make good decisions.

3. You reap what you sow, so sow well, sow bountifully and sow joyfully and without worry.

"Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed."~2 Corinthians 9:6-8 (NASB)

If I haven't learned anything else, it is this. However, I have learned to see it as the ultimate positive – the ultimate promise of God's lasting goodness! We often tell people "you'll reap what you sow" as a warning. We want them to know that the entire Cosmos will work out their punishments for every bad choice they've ever made. But here's the other side of it. God makes the entire Cosmos work together a blessing for every good seed you sow! I want my daughters to know this and live it every day.

I'm doing everything I can to help my daughters understand the importance of tithing, sowing, saving and spending wisely with every dollar that comes into their lives. I am committed to helping them experience God's best here on Earth and when we want God's best, how we handle money matters…a lot. By teaching them God's principles, we are setting a positive course for their lives that will ripple through eternity and even help them earn heavenly rewards.

That is why I frown when my girls want a month's supply of bubble gum.

By the way, here's the link to something I bought for my daughters when they were very young ---> The Money Savvy Pig. This is the picture I have at the top of this blog. I think they're starting to "get" it!

Originally published in Christian Quarterly Magazine here: ORIGINAL POSTING

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Is Dating REALLY a Waste of Time?

I referenced this concept before in my previous blog that went over like a lead balloon.


My goal with this blog is simple today - I DON'T WANT YOU TO MAKE IT ANOTHER BLOCKBUSTER...ooops...Redbox NIGHT!!!   I WANT YOU TO GO SOMEWHERE, WITH SOMEBODY, SOME TIME.  PLEASE!!!???

You will not shrivel up and die if you walk inside a Chili's with a member of the opposite sex.

You have not forfeited your kingdom inheritance if you go to coffee with somebody.

There is no commandment that says "Thou shalt not hit the comedy club sometime."

Most important, every interaction with a man (or woman) doesn't have to be a wrestling match to make it to the altar or DIE!

Let's stop being so afraid of messing up that we do nothing with nobody at no time.

"He was a waste of my time!"  He was a waste of your time, huh?  Well, maybe you were a waste of his money?  I hate, hate, hate hearing this.  I believe everybody is getting SOMETHING out of every relationship they maintain.

There are lessons in every relationship and VALUE to be gained. Also, unless you are being held captive, relationships are CONSENSUAL. That's means you are both getting some value out of it...even if it's just not having to go to the church picnic alone AGAIN.  Maybe you're getting the satisfaction of believing someone cares about you?  Maybe you're getting low-cost meals and movies?  Maybe you're just happy to been seen with SOMEBODY at the family reunion?  Either way, you got something if you were hanging around!  

Me personally? I see value and growth opportunities in every relationship. And, yes, there is often a TREMENDOUS value in having simple companionship. For example, even if you and "dude" aren't going all the way to the altar doesn't mean you can't have a good friendship, relationship and fun times...what if you use it as a time to learn about yourself, about men (or women if you're a man) and about what to look for in a partner in the future? 

Now...

I also assume you're not complicating things with sex. My working assumption is that you're going to see Planet of the Apes and then hitting the Waffle House and going home!  Right?  It doesn't have to get overly dramatic....and it usually doesn't so long as clothes stay on.

We cool? Some of you are still going to be concerned about feeling like you're wasting your time.  That's why I created this program!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
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For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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"How Can I Learn to Trust Again?"

I am often asked to respond to people telling me they've been let down, hurt, devastated and don't know how to trust people again.  I get that.  I have been betrayed and stabbed in the back myself...my back looks like a dart board by this point.  However, we can't allow ourselves to live in that place.  We have to move on if we're going to do and get all God has called us to be and have.

Along those lines, here are three keys I'd like you to understand and internalize:

(1) Actions are individual
(2) People are people
(3) You are a person, too!

Let me explain.

(1) Just because we feel like people have let us down...or people have betrayed us...doesn't mean every person will betray us. It only takes the right relationship with the right person to change everything!  Hang in there!

(2) Folks are just folks. They all have the capacity to let us down. At some point, everyone will do something that hurts us deeply. No doubt. If the apostles could turn their back on the son of God, surely, regular Joe can turn his back on Mark McCray. I'm not saying don't trust anybody. I'm just saying enjoy people as best you can and extend as much grace as you can when they come up short.

(3) You are a person, too. You have hurt people. You've betrayed them. You've let them down and turned your back on them, too.  Perhaps they just didn't tell you about it. Perhaps they put on a tough face when they felt like you had cut their heart out with a dagger?

Finally, I stand in agreement with you in prayer and encouragement. I pray God's grace will be with you.  You may be facing some deep personal challenges. I have, too, but I have found that God can and will sustain through the crisis!

Please share this with someone you know who may be looking for a little bit of encouragement this day...and please, please, please remember to join my Facebook page.  I want to stay connected with you!

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‎"How Can I Learn to Trust Again?"

I am often asked to respond to people telling me they've been let down, hurt, devastated and don't know how to trust people again. I get that. I have been betrayed and stabbed in the back myself...my back looks like a dart board by this point. However, we can't allow ourselves to live in that place. We have to move on if we're going to do and get all God has called us to be and have.

Along those lines, here are three keys I'd like you to understand and internalize:

(1) Actions are individual
(2) People are people
(3) You are a person, too!

Let me explain.

(1) Just because we feel like people have let us down...or people have betrayed us...doesn't mean every person will betray us. It only takes the right relationship with the right person to change everything! Hang in there!

(2) Folks are just folks. They all have the capacity to let us down. At some point, everyone will do something that hurts us deeply. No doubt. If the apostles could turn their back on the son of God, surely, regular Joe can turn his back on Mark McCray. I'm not saying don't trust anybody. I'm just saying enjoy people as best you can and extend as much grace as you can when they come up short.

(3) You are a person, too. You have hurt people. You've betrayed them. You've let them down and turned your back on them, too. Perhaps they just didn't tell you about it. Perhaps they put on a tough face when they felt like you had cut their heart out with a dagger?

Finally, I stand in agreement with you in prayer and encouragement. I pray God's grace will be with you. You may be facing some deep personal challenges. I have, too, but I have found that God can and will sustain through the crisis!

Please share this with someone you know who may be looking for a little bit of encouragement this day...and please, please, please remember to join my "Live BIG! Die Empty." Facebook page. I want to stay connected with you!

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