"Is fighting good for a relationship?"
Someone asked the question. It's a good question. Maybe even a great one. I have known couples who like the adrenaline of a good shouting match so much that they look forward to it - along with the makeup sex.
Some disagreement is inevitable, but the analogy I've learned from a good marriage counselor is called "The Love Bank" and we have to make sure we're adding more to the bank than we're taking out. Otherwise, after a while, the bank is empty and the relationship is BROKE! Every fight takes money out of the bank! Every criticism takes money out of the bank! It's said it takes ELEVEN compliments to undo the harm done by one criticism!
Simple concept then: every time we interact with someone...work, school, church, relationship, parenting...we're either adding equity to the relationship or we're taking it away. A lot of times we will stand and look at a person and not even understand how we got where we are. We allowed the bank to get low or empty.
So here's the challenge...can we all start to appreciate and compliment the people in our lives more? Can we perform some unexpected kindness? Can we hold that hug an extra second or two? Of course we can! The more we do, the "richer" our relationships will become! Get it? Banks? Richer?