1. "He took advantage of me!" Really? Are you serious? If you're older than 30, you knew what you were doing. Spare me. Okay. 30 is too old. Maybe the "age of dating accountability" happens much earlier but at some point you became a willing participant in your relationship drama. Like I always say, "when in doubt, just stay upright and fully-clothed." This is victim talk and it's unacceptable in a mature, healthy woman. Additionally, in sticking to that story, you're calling yourself stupid. As a female friend reminded me, if you're were wearing your nice panties, you didn't "fall" at all! You knew where the road you were on was headed!
2. "He was a waste of my time!" He was a waste of your time, huh? Well, maybe you were a waste of his money? I hate, hate, hate hearing this. I believe everybody is getting SOMETHING out of every relationship they maintain. Maybe you're getting the satisfaction of believing someone cares about you? Maybe you're getting low-cost meals and movies? Maybe you're just happy to been seen with SOMEBODY at the church social? Either way, you got something if you were hanging around! Best to maybe use it as a time to learn about yourself, about men and about what to look for in the future? Man, I'm getting tired.
3. "I love him but I don't respect him!" If a man has to choose your love or respect, he would rather have your respect. Believe that! I'm not saying your "love" is worthless, but it's worth less than respect and admiration. This is a problem for a lot of my sisters. They say men shouldn't need respect. "Why doesn't he just respect himself?" "What does it matter what I think?" "Is his ego really that fragile?" Admiration is a NEED for a man and most will gravitate towards whoever is giving it. Women are always shocked at how a man chooses an "other" woman who isn't as beautiful as his wife. It's because it wasn't about looks. She was doing something else for him/his ego!
4. "I don't believe in dating." So I'm supposed to walk up to you and declare my intentions on courting you towards marriage...and I don't even know if you know how to eat with your mouth closed? I'm supposed to commit to ONLY TALKING TO YOU and I ain't even met your crazy momma yet? Seriously? What in the H is wrong with you that you can't go to Olive Garden with a dude without it becoming a major commitment that you gotta pray over? It ain't that serious! Oh. I forgot. You don't want to waste your time on me. Okay.
5. "I won't settle." YOU won't settle? LOL YOU won't settle? How haughty can you get? I am betting you'll either be single for a looooooooooong time or you'll change that stance. You might not be the prize you think you are. Sure. You're great. But your breath is bad in the mornings (and some afternoons), you've got a nasty attitude sometimes and you probably weigh more than he wants you to weigh but he's scurrrrred to tell you. But you're not settling, huh? He might be settling! He wanted Kerry Washington...but...
Think about it. If any of these are you, go ahead and start chunking rocks at me now because I use these phrases to decide who NOT to talk to.