Thank God for Cheerleaders!

Everybody needs a cheerleader!  Even me.

Last week I began to notice that my internal dialogue had become poisoned. I don't know how it happened. I honestly don't. I started catching myself saying negative, unproductive and critical things to myself and my life and situation. This isn't me. Where did this come from? I didn't know, but I was seeing how my mood was poor and my optimism and energy were being drained away from me slowly. This isn't me. Not usually.

But I'm thankful the Lord sent me a few cheerleaders to remind me of all the great things that are in me!

Sometimes negative people and situations can sap our strength and we don't even realize it's happening.  I can't always be around my cheerleaders, so I'm fighting back.  I'm confessing good words over my life and my future.  I'm believing for greater things and good outcomes... the way I usually do!  I hope you'll do the same!

Subscribe. Let me help you keep your internal dialogue healthy and productive!  Also, thank God for cheerleaders!  Also thank God for allowing me to find a fully-clothed one for this post.  That's harder to do than you think!

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"What to Do While You're Waiting?"

LaTracey Copeland & Mark Anthony McCray have partnered up to host this FREE Conference Call to encourage you, help you and teach you what to do while you're waiting!

After so many questions from our blog readers and friends in our Facebook communities, we felt like the time was NOW to discuss this topic with our friends and talk about all the things women AND men should do to prepare for success in their relationships - how to use your season of singleness the right ways.

This will be an interactive call, so come with your questions. No topic is off limits. BRING IT! We promise to be candid, honest and real with you...all while sharing the WORD and METHODS instead of just rehashed hype.

This is one you'll want to join for SURE!! Be sure to RSVP so we know to expect you. I've already had to add more "seats" to the event. Talk to you then!

RSVP on Facebook HERE ---> https://www.facebook.com/events/366990156688406/

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"5 Things to Communicate to the Man in Your Life Everyday"

"The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." ~Proverbs 14:1

I touched on "5 Things to Communicate to the Woman in Your Life" in my previous blog.  Please check it out and leave some comments if some hit home with you!  Today we look at the other side of the equation.  In fact, here's a treat.  After the previous blog, a friend sent me a list of things we should never say to a loved one.  I thought it was pretty good, too.  The bottom line is this: our tongues have the ability to build up or destroy.   Here are some ways a wise women uses her tongue.  She is eager to let him know in words and deeds...

1.  "I respect you."  If given the choice between having your respect and your love, studies have shown that most men will choose your respect.  For women, loving is natural.  This is the one that requires effort.  That's why the Bible speaks to it so often for women.

2. "I trust you completely."  This is kind of an extension of the other, but somewhat different because these words will inspire men to lead with confidence.  Feeling like your direction will be followed is very empowering and humbling.  It makes you want to be a better man. 

3. "I believe in you."  If you're called to be with a man, you have to learn how to undergird his vision and partner with him in it.  You can't do this if you don't believe in him.  He needs to know you're in his corner.  You're often his reason for laboring.

4. "I celebrate you."  Praise the behavior you want to see manifested.  Men have very sensitive egos.  More so than women, for sure.  Wise women build up their households by not being afraid to build up their men.  I've actually heard (FOOLISH) women say they don't praise their man because they don't want him to think too much of himself.  How stupid can you get?

5. "I am totally yours."  This will make any man do almost anything for you.  Seriously.  Very few things stir a man's blood like knowing that the woman in his life is completely sold out to him and him alone.  That's real power!

What a lot of my sisters don't realize (ducking behind a couch for protection as I write this) is God gives you full license to pour every bit of the admiration, respect and deference you have for Jesus into your husband. In fact, He tells you to do so.


Blessings!

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"5 Things to Communicate to the Woman in Your Life Everyday"

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.   Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.   Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.   Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." ~Ephesians 4:29-32


So much to say about the power of our words that I can't even begin to do it service.  We already know that the power of life and death are in our tongues.  Don't we realize that applies to our intimate relationships, too?  Of course it does.  Maybe more so because we can directly impact another person's attitudes, moods and responses to us with everything that comes out of our mouth.  We can create life or kill.

I've been too negative in the past.  I repent.  I can't remain that way if I expect to have a woman in my life who's thriving and growing because of MY influence in her life.  I must learn how to always EDIFY and always minister with everything I speak.   I think I'm pretty good, but I've let some words slip that made other people feel like I doubted them.  That's no good.  I was only speaking out of my own insecurities and stresses at the moment.  I've got to tame my tongue better!

I learned a few things from a friend recently about this.  With some help, I came up with five things that we men need to communicate (say or demonstrate) to the women in our lives often (maybe daily).  These are all tied to some of the most common insecurities women have.  We've got to help promote health in those we love.  I'll talk about the five things women should communicate to the man in their lives soon.

1. I love you. Women need to know that they are valued and cherished.  She needs to know she's special to you.  This is one we want to say all the time if we can.  It's better for her to hear it too much than too little.  You can love her with your actions, but this is one she needs to hear, too.


2. You are beautiful to me.  This continues to build her esteem from all the damaging words from her past.


3. I will show you a better me.  She needs to know that you're dedicated to working on yourself as a man.  She needs to know that you're receptive to her feedback and willing to take an honest look in the mirror from time to time.


4. I will never leave you or forsake you.  She will hear this as your pledge of fidelity to her and her alone.  She needs to know you value your covenant with her.  


5. I will protect you.  The need to feel secure is one of a woman's more basic needs.  We can't forget that.  A need is not a want.  She needs to know you're there for her.


These are pretty basic reminders for you.  I'm not saying you have to verbalize all of this all the time, but don't skimp.  Also, your actions speak loudly.  Demonstrate where you don't have the words.  



PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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Dealing with Offense: Part One

You have to learn to deal with offense if you're going to walk in your destiny and enjoy happy and stable relationships. I've learned that. It's funny how it's so often the exact folks who NEED to press through their own sense of offense to get ahead who, instead, let offenses, hurt and pride take them off track.



These people allow themselves to become subject to their own emotions and sensitivities even to the point of divorcing, quitting jobs or even moving to a new city... all because they were offended. If you really want God's best for your life, you have to put your emotions in the back seat sometimes and not let them drive.

This is most tragic when we allow offense to end relationships that used to be so dear to us. You have to learn to get your emotions under control and make decisions with your mind instead of thin skin.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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How Iron Sharpens Iron

A true friend reminds you of your righteousness instead of your wretchedness. Iron sharpens iron. Truth. But how does this happen? I would suggest that it doesn't happen through criticism...primarily because most people don't know how to offer it.

"Mark, but...but..."

Hear me out for a moment. There is ALWAYS a way to say anything. Look up what the Proverbs say about a "word fitly spoken" and share your thoughts with me. Also, remember that it takes eleven sincere compliments to undo the damage of one criticism.

Therefore, let me share THREE ways to offer feedback that will more likely be received and EDIFY the hearer:

(1) Offer "feedback" instead of "constructive criticism" in every case. Just hearing the word "criticism" will make people grow tense. Instead say "May I offer you some feedback?" It's always feedback because feedback doesn't automatically lend a negative connotation to the situation.

(2) Never offer feedback without their permission. If they say "No" it is really okay. The world won't end. Maybe they don't want to hear what you have to say right now. They will live and so will you. Often your feedback hasn't been received well in the past because YOU needed to say it more than they needed to hear it. Get past yourself. If they don't give you permission to continue, don't. Simple as that.

(3) Sandwiches. This is an old technique that still works. Sandwich the feedback between sincere compliments. This is easy. Start with something positive they've accomplished, insert a way they can improve and close with a reinforcement of their value to you and their accomplishments. This reinforces that you're coming from a place of RELATIONSHIP with them and that you're not seeking to sever the relationship by way of your words.

People tend to gravitate towards their praise and grow more by way of positive expectations and reinforcements than from criticisms. It reminds of me a quote I heard from a Philadelphia sports fan who was overhead booing Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt. When asked why, he said "I'm trying to make him better!" How ridiculous to think a Hall of Fame Ballplayer was moved by his boos! I'll bet you a dollar the "great cloud of witnesses" is cheering you on... not waiting for you to stumble so they can point out your flaws.

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
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For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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You Only Get One Today. Use Wisely.

How well are you using your time so far today? Are you focused on your MOST IMPORTANT tasks instead of just the urgent ones? Here's how you decide what requires your utmost diligence:

URGENT = Make sure it's urgent for you instead of a case of someone else's urgency trying to make its way into your life. Urgency is often emotional. Manage your emotions and slow down. Even the things that feel the most urgent could sometimes benefit from taking the time to step back a moment.

IMPORTANT = You KNOW you need to do it, achieve it, prioritize it. These are the next things to do. Prioritize them and make sure all are handled in order of priority, not preference. This is real diligence. Doing what you must do instead of only doing what you want to do.

URGENT + IMPORTANT = Give these items your TOP focus at the start of the day. Then shift to the important. Some things just have to be done when they have to be done. No mulling it over. Take care of business!!!

I'm not saying you have to be driven to perform every moment of each day.  Rest is an important part of managing your time well.  I just want remind you that you only get this moment once.  Cherish it, value it and use it well.

To your prosperity!


Join me on Facebook and subscribe to this blog a part of your action!  Let's progress together!

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Men, Is the Grass Always Greener?

Sometimes the only reason we leave a good and otherwise healthy relationship is because we've bought the hype that something else or SOMEBODY else is going to be better for us. Men fall into that trap all the time. Women, too, but (we) men are so susceptible to visual stimuli that we make that mistake more often, I think. We become so enamored with the way another woman looks at us, flirts with us or strokes our ego that we forget the realities. Everybody has their issues!!

At the same time, we stop appreciating what's good about the woman in our life and focus only on what's bad about her. (Okay, women are bad about this, too! Very bad! I think the main difference is women often have friends reminding them of the bad stuff!) Anyway, we stop appreciate the good and start looking at that lush, green grass across the way and imagining what it would be like to run and play in it!

That reminds me. I love yard work. I really do. I might be one of the few, but there's something about seeing a well-manicured, bright green carpet of grass that really makes me feel good! As I was taking my walk and praying this morning, I was thinking about green grass and how do you make a good lawn.

You might think you do it by pulling weeds. You don't. You build a great lawn by nurturing the grass that you want. As the grass that you want gets stronger and stronger, it chokes out everything else. Spending your time pulling weeds is counterproductive. You can't keep up with them anyway. Spending your time feeding, watering and manicuring the "good stuff" is what brings the best results.

Likewise, there are those who will tell you that you can build healthy relationships by weeding. That's not quite how it works. Feed what you want to grow and the "good stuff" won't leave room for anything else. If you aren't getting what I'm saying, I'm suggesting that you spend more time nurturing what you appreciate about the woman you love and bring more life to that stuff. Focus less on the bad and the good will grow. Then you can enjoy the field you're in a little more.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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Encouragement for Someone. Just relax.

Here's a word of encouragement for someone who's feeling a spirit of lack with maybe a touch of loneliness today: Relax. It's going to be okay.

There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to have a special person in your life. We are made for pairs. Our entire physiology screams it. But if you don't have such a person right now and it hurts, that's okay. Feel it. But don't just feel it. REMEMBER IT. Take note of what you're experiencing right now. Write it down if you must. Perhaps the reason you've been allowed to be alone right now is so you'll appreciate your future partner THAT MUCH MORE!!??

So don't regret. For now, just relax. Anxiety does nobody any good. Look forward. And when you have that person, don't be so upset about the little things. Be glad they are there to share the little moments with you. The feeling of gratitude can keep you together.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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How Badly Do You Want It?

...so you have to decide how badly you want it. Do you want "it" enough to change? Your words SAY you've received a vision - direction from God - but when are you going to totally sell out to bringing it into manifestation.

(You believe that ultimately the "answer of the tongue belongs to the Lord" but you also know you haven't done all YOU can do!)

...so how badly do you want God's best for your life? For your family? Do you want it enough to fast? To pray? To push away that plate? To make an extra phone call? To wake up earlier in the morning or go to bed earlier at night? To invest in your education or at least buy (and read) that book? To knock on a few doors? To step out of your fears and walk in faith? To get your emotions under control and stop letting them drive you?

If there isn't something on that list or on your own that you're willing to do differently, you're still just talking. You don't want "it" badly enough yet.  Join me on Facebook and subscribe to this blog a part of your action!  Let's progress together!

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