Love is a Beautiful Thing.

Love is a beautiful thing. A human can't experience anything greater than being totally naked in front of another person and feeling total acceptance, no shame. I'm praying for this for all of you reading this today!

But you have to choose it. You have to take the chance and let your guard down. You have to forgive and let go of the past. But it's worth it. It truly is.

Blessings!

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For About the One Billioneth Time!

Boy, oh boy, does your environment make a difference! After spending the last couple of days around some of the sharpest, most aggressive people I know, I am so convinced that I needed this! I needed more time around leaders and I got it.  Thank God!

This could be one of my shortest blogs ever. I just want to remind you of a couple of things:

• Iron sharpens iron...and...
• He who walks with the wise becomes wise. 

If I can remind you of those and encourage you to seek out the company of fine men and women, I will have done my job today. That's pretty much it. A reminder. Now do it!!!

Subscribe. Let me help you keep your internal dialogue healthy and productive!  Also, thank God for cheerleaders!  If you need one, let me know!

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The Freedom of Forgiveness

From time to time I'm reminded that this blog is also ministry. I have to keep spreading the Gospel. And there is no gospel that doesn't include forgiveness. And any time we accept forgiveness (which all Believers have) we are obligated to extend grace to others in abundance.

How often? How many times do we forgive those who sin against us?  Probably more than you have as you read this.  If you're like many people, you have a ways to go.  Even if you're into a couple dozen times, you have a ways to go before you come close to the standard set by Christ.

Forgiveness and reconciliation aren't the same thing. One can give and forgive without recommitting to the relationship.  Sometimes it is necessary to keep one's distance.  But continuing to hold grudges impacts your own business, family life, spiritual life and relationships.  You can't continue in health while keeping poison in your system.

And if you tell me it's a process, I'll debate you because I'm not convinced.  To the extent it's a process, I think it's mostly a matter of deciding when you're going to stop letting the poison slowly kill you.  That's about as much of a process as I'm willing to allow.  I think most of the time we call it that to justify why we haven't done it.

I talk about forgiveness a lot, but I understand hurts, pains, dejection and betrayal MUCH MORE than any of you think. MUCH MORE. But I also understand the freedom of forgiveness.  It breaks those ties that were chaining you to your past.  That's the only way to live. When you live looking back, you doom your own future. Keep hoping and living in expectancy!

Blessings!

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Are You Relationship Ready?

I found this tool kind of neat! Click on this link and do the quiz to see how "Relationship Ready" you are. Is it perfect? No. Of course not, but it will give you some things to think about.

RELATIONSHIP TEST

What did you score?  If you're honest with yourself as you take it, I am confident you'll find some things to pray about and work on!  I actually scored pretty high.  Higher than I expected.  LOL

Blessings!

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Thank God for Cheerleaders!

Everybody needs a cheerleader!  Even me.

Last week I began to notice that my internal dialogue had become poisoned. I don't know how it happened. I honestly don't. I started catching myself saying negative, unproductive and critical things to myself and my life and situation. This isn't me. Where did this come from? I didn't know, but I was seeing how my mood was poor and my optimism and energy were being drained away from me slowly. This isn't me. Not usually.

But I'm thankful the Lord sent me a few cheerleaders to remind me of all the great things that are in me!

Sometimes negative people and situations can sap our strength and we don't even realize it's happening.  I can't always be around my cheerleaders, so I'm fighting back.  I'm confessing good words over my life and my future.  I'm believing for greater things and good outcomes... the way I usually do!  I hope you'll do the same!

Subscribe. Let me help you keep your internal dialogue healthy and productive!  Also, thank God for cheerleaders!  Also thank God for allowing me to find a fully-clothed one for this post.  That's harder to do than you think!

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"What to Do While You're Waiting?"

LaTracey Copeland & Mark Anthony McCray have partnered up to host this FREE Conference Call to encourage you, help you and teach you what to do while you're waiting!

After so many questions from our blog readers and friends in our Facebook communities, we felt like the time was NOW to discuss this topic with our friends and talk about all the things women AND men should do to prepare for success in their relationships - how to use your season of singleness the right ways.

This will be an interactive call, so come with your questions. No topic is off limits. BRING IT! We promise to be candid, honest and real with you...all while sharing the WORD and METHODS instead of just rehashed hype.

This is one you'll want to join for SURE!! Be sure to RSVP so we know to expect you. I've already had to add more "seats" to the event. Talk to you then!

RSVP on Facebook HERE ---> https://www.facebook.com/events/366990156688406/

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"5 Things to Communicate to the Man in Your Life Everyday"

"The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." ~Proverbs 14:1

I touched on "5 Things to Communicate to the Woman in Your Life" in my previous blog.  Please check it out and leave some comments if some hit home with you!  Today we look at the other side of the equation.  In fact, here's a treat.  After the previous blog, a friend sent me a list of things we should never say to a loved one.  I thought it was pretty good, too.  The bottom line is this: our tongues have the ability to build up or destroy.   Here are some ways a wise women uses her tongue.  She is eager to let him know in words and deeds...

1.  "I respect you."  If given the choice between having your respect and your love, studies have shown that most men will choose your respect.  For women, loving is natural.  This is the one that requires effort.  That's why the Bible speaks to it so often for women.

2. "I trust you completely."  This is kind of an extension of the other, but somewhat different because these words will inspire men to lead with confidence.  Feeling like your direction will be followed is very empowering and humbling.  It makes you want to be a better man. 

3. "I believe in you."  If you're called to be with a man, you have to learn how to undergird his vision and partner with him in it.  You can't do this if you don't believe in him.  He needs to know you're in his corner.  You're often his reason for laboring.

4. "I celebrate you."  Praise the behavior you want to see manifested.  Men have very sensitive egos.  More so than women, for sure.  Wise women build up their households by not being afraid to build up their men.  I've actually heard (FOOLISH) women say they don't praise their man because they don't want him to think too much of himself.  How stupid can you get?

5. "I am totally yours."  This will make any man do almost anything for you.  Seriously.  Very few things stir a man's blood like knowing that the woman in his life is completely sold out to him and him alone.  That's real power!

What a lot of my sisters don't realize (ducking behind a couch for protection as I write this) is God gives you full license to pour every bit of the admiration, respect and deference you have for Jesus into your husband. In fact, He tells you to do so.


Blessings!

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"5 Things to Communicate to the Woman in Your Life Everyday"

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.   Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.   Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.   Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." ~Ephesians 4:29-32


So much to say about the power of our words that I can't even begin to do it service.  We already know that the power of life and death are in our tongues.  Don't we realize that applies to our intimate relationships, too?  Of course it does.  Maybe more so because we can directly impact another person's attitudes, moods and responses to us with everything that comes out of our mouth.  We can create life or kill.

I've been too negative in the past.  I repent.  I can't remain that way if I expect to have a woman in my life who's thriving and growing because of MY influence in her life.  I must learn how to always EDIFY and always minister with everything I speak.   I think I'm pretty good, but I've let some words slip that made other people feel like I doubted them.  That's no good.  I was only speaking out of my own insecurities and stresses at the moment.  I've got to tame my tongue better!

I learned a few things from a friend recently about this.  With some help, I came up with five things that we men need to communicate (say or demonstrate) to the women in our lives often (maybe daily).  These are all tied to some of the most common insecurities women have.  We've got to help promote health in those we love.  I'll talk about the five things women should communicate to the man in their lives soon.

1. I love you. Women need to know that they are valued and cherished.  She needs to know she's special to you.  This is one we want to say all the time if we can.  It's better for her to hear it too much than too little.  You can love her with your actions, but this is one she needs to hear, too.


2. You are beautiful to me.  This continues to build her esteem from all the damaging words from her past.


3. I will show you a better me.  She needs to know that you're dedicated to working on yourself as a man.  She needs to know that you're receptive to her feedback and willing to take an honest look in the mirror from time to time.


4. I will never leave you or forsake you.  She will hear this as your pledge of fidelity to her and her alone.  She needs to know you value your covenant with her.  


5. I will protect you.  The need to feel secure is one of a woman's more basic needs.  We can't forget that.  A need is not a want.  She needs to know you're there for her.


These are pretty basic reminders for you.  I'm not saying you have to verbalize all of this all the time, but don't skimp.  Also, your actions speak loudly.  Demonstrate where you don't have the words.  



PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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Dealing with Offense: Part One

You have to learn to deal with offense if you're going to walk in your destiny and enjoy happy and stable relationships. I've learned that. It's funny how it's so often the exact folks who NEED to press through their own sense of offense to get ahead who, instead, let offenses, hurt and pride take them off track.



These people allow themselves to become subject to their own emotions and sensitivities even to the point of divorcing, quitting jobs or even moving to a new city... all because they were offended. If you really want God's best for your life, you have to put your emotions in the back seat sometimes and not let them drive.

This is most tragic when we allow offense to end relationships that used to be so dear to us. You have to learn to get your emotions under control and make decisions with your mind instead of thin skin.

Blessings!

PS - Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular updates to help you have the happy and healthy relationships you desire!  And... be sure to get your copy of "10 Things to Consider About a Man..." exclusively from Mark Anthony McCray today!

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How Iron Sharpens Iron

A true friend reminds you of your righteousness instead of your wretchedness. Iron sharpens iron. Truth. But how does this happen? I would suggest that it doesn't happen through criticism...primarily because most people don't know how to offer it.

"Mark, but...but..."

Hear me out for a moment. There is ALWAYS a way to say anything. Look up what the Proverbs say about a "word fitly spoken" and share your thoughts with me. Also, remember that it takes eleven sincere compliments to undo the damage of one criticism.

Therefore, let me share THREE ways to offer feedback that will more likely be received and EDIFY the hearer:

(1) Offer "feedback" instead of "constructive criticism" in every case. Just hearing the word "criticism" will make people grow tense. Instead say "May I offer you some feedback?" It's always feedback because feedback doesn't automatically lend a negative connotation to the situation.

(2) Never offer feedback without their permission. If they say "No" it is really okay. The world won't end. Maybe they don't want to hear what you have to say right now. They will live and so will you. Often your feedback hasn't been received well in the past because YOU needed to say it more than they needed to hear it. Get past yourself. If they don't give you permission to continue, don't. Simple as that.

(3) Sandwiches. This is an old technique that still works. Sandwich the feedback between sincere compliments. This is easy. Start with something positive they've accomplished, insert a way they can improve and close with a reinforcement of their value to you and their accomplishments. This reinforces that you're coming from a place of RELATIONSHIP with them and that you're not seeking to sever the relationship by way of your words.

People tend to gravitate towards their praise and grow more by way of positive expectations and reinforcements than from criticisms. It reminds of me a quote I heard from a Philadelphia sports fan who was overhead booing Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt. When asked why, he said "I'm trying to make him better!" How ridiculous to think a Hall of Fame Ballplayer was moved by his boos! I'll bet you a dollar the "great cloud of witnesses" is cheering you on... not waiting for you to stumble so they can point out your flaws.

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
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For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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