Dress Like a Tiger!

I stood in my closet this morning looking at my clothes. (Lord Jesus! I hate getting dressed in the mornings. It just feels like wasted time!  I wish I could wake up fully dressed and clean shaven!)  Anyway, today isn't a meetings day for me.  Phone and e-mail work for the most part.  No scheduled face-to-face meetings.  On days like that, I'll admit to getting a little lazy with my attire.  Not exactly dressing the part always.  Guilty.

Today I made a different choice.  Tiger Woods came to mind.  I recalled how I admire how he always dresses in red on Sundays... his "winning" color.  He wears red when it's time to really get down to business.  And, a couple of recent rough Ambien-fueled (sorry, Eldrick) years aside, it has worked for him.  Then I remembered how much the way we dress impacts how people see and respond to us.  Also, our own moods, focus and productivity are GREATLY improved when you dress for success.  So I made a different choice.  Slacks and dress shoes instead of jeans and Adidas.  (Sorry, DMC!)  I'm already feeling it.

Just a little reminder to those of us who sometimes have flexibility in our wardrobe choices.  There's still something to dressing the part.  I've let myself slip too much.  Time to take it back to where I know I need to be.  I might even break out the ties again.  Also, don't be surprised if you see me in red the next time I have a huge meeting!

Read More

What Do Men Look for in A Woman?

I am asked quite often "Mark, what do men look for in a woman?" and it happens often enough where I should respond. I'm always trying to be honest, so I have to give two sets of answers I think: a more general response and a more candid one that answers the question more personally (with all that other stuff about my bias out of the way). Here are what I call my Top 11!

#1 - I am generally attracted to a woman who has some smarts. She doesn't have to be a genius or a doctor and her smarts don't have to be in the form of formal education. Being able to carry a conversation in a number of areas is vital!

#2 - I am generally attracted to women who have good relationships with their fathers and brothers. I don't do well with bitter people. If you still have problems with the previous men in your life, you are not for me.

#3 - A Christian. She doesn't have to be bible-thumping or preaching. But she and I should both agree that the orthodox Bible is the standard for life. We won't always meet it's requirements, but we should at least know where the line is. The Apostles Creed is a good start.

#4 - Raw physical attraction. I like a woman who looks and acts like she likes sex...just reserves it for the special man. A virgin is not required, but some virtue is required. A woman who acts like an asexual doesn't work as somebody I see myself with.

#5 - Children. I have no problem with a woman who has a kid...even two. I don't see it a major issue. Some guys do. To each his own.

#6 - (I posted this entire list before and this one had to do with a woman's physical appearance. I'm choosing to delete it here. To each his own!)

#7 - I like a woman who can be supportive, but still can come with strong suggestions when it is needed. I don't want to be allowed to swim in my own bullshit forever. For a while, maybe, but not forever. I like a woman who can push me to be a better man without needing to break me down to do it. ENCOURAGEMENT is the key.

#8 - I like a woman to have good friends. Preferable with women who aren't bitter themselves. I can't necessarily control a woman's friends. I know that. A woman has to examine her friends on her own. The Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals and that we should not be deceived in this. Bottom line: who you surround yourselves with matters.

#9 - It is important to me that a woman has access to good mentors. The Bible says that the older women should teach the younger women how to be good wives. THIS MEANS THAT GOD KNOWS IT IS NOT A NATURAL SKILL-SET. Bottom line here is that we all will do what we have seen unless we are purposeful about learning a new way.

#10 - There is a final factor having to do with leadership and roles in the household, church and etc. I am more of a traditionalist when it comes to those things.

#11 - There is a final one that is HUGE. It's companionship. There is a book called His Needs - Her Needs that gets into it. A man, me included, wants a woman that enjoys just being with him. Like every now and again actually going to a game or going fishing or doing some yardwork. Whatever. It doesn't really matter. Men need to talk to their women. Women need to do activities with their men.

Those are my thoughts. Am I missing anything?

Read More

Looking for Reasons to Marry? Here are Six!

Marriage is under attack. Even people who want to get married, sometimes struggle with their motivations. The most committed and devout Christians have a hard time arguing for marriage anymore. It's difficult. Sometimes it feels like too much hastle to even think about it, let alone find someone with whom you can start seriously talking about it. And there are more and more people telling you it isn't necessary, it's a relic of past times, there's just no reason for it...Biblical or otherwise!

Turns out that there are (at least) six great reasons to married!  Check these out!

1. Procreation (Genesis 1:28)
2. Pleasure (Proverbs 5:18-19)
3. Partnership (Genesis 2:18)
4. Picture of the Church (Ephesians 5:25)
5. Provision for the Woman (Ephesians 5:29)
6. Purity (Hebrews 13:4)

Some people think marriage is just for procreation and, therefore, not for those who don't want children. Some think it's only about financial gain or economic stability. But the truth of the matter is marriage is a gift given by God for all of those reasons and more...even pleasure! Praise the Lord!

Read More

How Long Does It Take to Win a Gold Medal?

I saw an interesting article on WSJ.com talking about how long it takes to win a gold medal. Interesting because it included a chart showing how in some events (shot put) it takes all of about 13 seconds to win a gold medal.  Other events are over in a minute or two.

So, how long does it really take to win a gold medal and the international acclaim that comes with it?  Years and years.  Some have given their whole lives. True success doesn't come overnight.  Honest riches are gained over time.  Consistent dedication, discipline and diligence are required.  To think of Gabrielle Christina Victoria "Gabby" Douglas as winning her gold medals in just a few hours cheapens the sacrifices made by her and her entire support team.

Get a team, keep doing what it takes and be patient.  Greatness isn't achieved overnight and it's never achieved alone.  As Gabby says, "Gold medals are made out of sweat, blood and tears."

Great job, Team Gabby!

Read More

This just has to be said!?

Here's something I find funny. How many times a week do I hear someone indignantly telling someone something that "just has to be said!"? How many times do you try to "set someone straight" and it's always "for their own good", right?

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." ~ Ephesians 4:29

Truthfully, very little of what "has to be said" actually has to be said. You said it for self-therapy. You feel better. You gratified your own carnal desire. You didn't measure whether your words were wholesome, needed, timely, edifying or gracious. You just went off.

I like how our old friend King James says it: "A fool uttereth all his mind, but a wise man keepeth it in until afterwards." ~Prov 29:11

Do you have friends who uttereth all their minds? Keep better company. Do you uttereth all your mind? BECOME better company. Ask yourself this: Do they really, truly need to hear it? Or do you just really, truly want to say it?   Take more care.  We're going to be held accountable for every careless word we've spoken!

Read More

Unblock Your Blessings!

Have you ever considered that you might have things present in your life that are blocking your blessings? I'd bet that you might.

Here's an analogy. What if you plowed a field, sowed seeds into fertile ground, watered them and then covered the ground with plywood or even concrete? Those seeds might have a hard time coming to life and bearing fruit! Wouldn't you agree?

I'm going to share some thoughts about blessing blockers over the next few weeks as I'm guided because this is something that I came to understand in my own life. Sometimes you're doing or have done many of the right things, but things still haven't opened up the way you wanted or expected. Why?

Maybe your blessings are being blocked?! The good news is there is a way to identify and remove these obstacles and that's what we want to do together. For example, the first thing you must do is take care of all the seeds you've already sown. Make sure they're being nurtured and cared for. A lot of times we neglect the investments (career, relationships, business, ministry) that we've already made and then wonder why they don't produce the way they could or used to.

What are some things that you've found that block blessings from flowing in your life?

Read More

"Seven Things I Learned from Rap Music"

Since the days of Kurtis Blow, I have loved rap music.  I'll grant you that some of it's becoming hard to justify, but there are some lessons that I've learned from it over the years that have helped me in life. Here are some of my favorites:

"You don't grind, you don't shine." - Mike Jones

If this current economy has reminded us of anything, it's that most of us should no longer expect financial prosperity to come without sacrifice. Solomon said that there is profit in all hard work and the converse is true: if you don't grind, you don't shine. Put your top effort into creating the future you desire.

"If I can't change the people around me, I change the people around me." - Chuck D

The Bible says that we should not be deceived; that bad company corrupts good morals. Throughout the Proverbs, there are warnings to choose our friends and associations very carefully. A lot of who we become results from those with whom we spend the majority of our time. Surround yourself with people who are pursuing purpose.

"Before we go any further, let's be friends." - Whodini

Relationship advice from the great Rappin' Jalil (or was it Ecstacy? or Grandmaster Dee?). A lot of times we push relationships too far, too fast because of infatuation and hormones. I advise my sisters all the time to resist the urge to let relationships become "sexualized" too soon because once a guy has sex on his mind, he can't think. Let's not just get to know one another. Let's be friends.

"You see me? I eat, sleep, _____ and talk rap. You see that '98 Mercedes on TV? I bought that." - Juvenile

One thing that I've always admired in successful people is their focus. Solomon spoke of this, too, when he advised that we should do with all our might whatever it is that we do. This is in Ecclesiastes 9:10 in case you're wondering.

"It's what you keep, not what you cop." ~Beanie Sigel

Making money doesn't profit much if you spend it all. We Americans have developed the nasty habit of spending even MORE than we earn.  W. Clement Stone said, "If you cannot save money, the seeds of greatness are not in you."  Wise words.  Very. 


"Don't let a win go to your head or a loss to your heart." - Chuck D

Fight to stay encouraged when things are tough by taking control of your emotions. Don't take it personally. Things happen to all of us in this life. Also, use the positive emotions of victories to propel yourself forward without becoming complacent. Good seasons don't last always the same way Winter doesn't last forever.

"It takes two to make a thing go ri-ight! It takes two to make it out of sight!" ~Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock (See also Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 because Solomon said it, too: "Two are better than one...")

Read More

What Do You Expect?

I've had a small epiphany. I'm sure you've already had this one and this post is just a reminder for you. You generally perform at about the level you expect out of yourself.  I've been a lot more productive in this past week and I've only made one change.  I've expected to be.

So much of how we perform is based only on one thing - our expectations for our performance.  Do you recall the Roger Bannister 4-Minute Mile thing?  Nobody thought it could be done.  Once Bannister broke the barrier there was a shift in expectations.  Now, if you can't run a mile in four minutes, you're not even taken seriously as a runner.  In the same way, many of your current limits are totally arbitrary.  No reason you can't raise them!  
Time for me to get back to work.  It's been a productive day, but I can do better.  In fact, I will do better!  I'm expecting a lot more from myself and it feels good!  Subscribe to this blog.  Let's see what's ahead together!

Read More

You're Made of Good Stuff!

A lot of people think there is something fundamentally different between the high achievers and themselves. That's not the case at all! You can do anything anyone else can do if you know what they know and practice is consistently. That means this: anything you've been called to do, created to do or want to do YOU CAN DO! You just have to learn how and then practice what you have learned.

A lot of what you need to do, you ALREADY KNOW but you aren't doing it consistently. Now, I've been working on a new series basically covering how to get out of your own way, but you've got to catch this first. There is nothing fundamentally LESSER about you at all. Donald Trump gets funky breath in the morning, too. We all get 24 hours and (if you're reading this) a sound mind. It's what we think about and what we do that makes the difference.

The first message I want you to catch is that YOU CAN DO, BE and HAVE anything you're called, created or want to have. You just need to learn something you don't currently know and then practice it consistently. If you aren't where you want to be, hang in there. The race isn't given to the swift nor is the battle given to the strong! If you aren't making the impact you want to make and earning the money you want to earn, it's only because there's something you don't know! That's good news because it means you can LEARN whatever you need to learn to take your entire life to a new level. Stay encouraged and keep asking, seeking and knocking!

Subscribe to this blog.  Let's win together!

Read More

The God of Provision.

"Abraham called the name of that place The Lord Will Provide, as it is said to this day, “In the mount of the Lord it will be provided.”" ~Genesis 22:14 (NASB)

...which is an interesting passage and very well known and a good illustration of where it's good to dig into the language a little bit. Thinking the word "provide" or about provision limits our understanding. Abraham really said "The LORD will see to it." or (more colloquially) "The LORD will take care of it."

The Latin helps us, too, when we go into why certain words were chosen as the Bible was being translated. Why use the word "provide" instead of another word like "give" or something else? Because provide comes from "pro" (before or beforehand) + "videre" (to see). The LORD sees ahead of time.

The ram was in the bush before Abraham set out in the morning! We don't know when he got his horns caught in the thicket or why. Was the ram running from a coyote? Had the coyote been chased away from another encampment by a local shepherd? Did that shepherd catch the coyote because his breakfast had been burnt and so he got frustrated and went out to pasture early? The answers are both "Yes!" and "who knows but God?" because we see that He saw ahead and saw to it.

We talk about giving blessings. We've got songs celebrating Jehovah Jireh. That's good. The Lord certainly blesses. It goes well beyond giving to you to include arranging all the things that concern you! Even your deliverance!  That challenge you're facing right now? He already saw it. Concerned about how it's going to turn out? Don't be. Relax. He will see to it. In fact, He already has.

Subscribe to this blog.  Let's see what's ahead together!

Read More