I am asked quite often "Mark, what do men look for in a woman?" and it happens often enough where I should respond. I'm always trying to be honest, so I have to give two sets of answers I think: a more general response and a more candid one that answers the question more personally (with all that other stuff about my bias out of the way). Here are what I call my Top 11!
#1 - I am generally attracted to a woman who has some smarts. She doesn't have to be a genius or a doctor and her smarts don't have to be in the form of formal education. Being able to carry a conversation in a number of areas is vital!
#2 - I am generally attracted to women who have good relationships with their fathers and brothers. I don't do well with bitter people. If you still have problems with the previous men in your life, you are not for me.
#3 - A Christian. She doesn't have to be bible-thumping or preaching. But she and I should both agree that the orthodox Bible is the standard for life. We won't always meet it's requirements, but we should at least know where the line is. The Apostles Creed is a good start.
#4 - Raw physical attraction. I like a woman who looks and acts like she likes sex...just reserves it for the special man. A virgin is not required, but some virtue is required. A woman who acts like an asexual doesn't work as somebody I see myself with.
#5 - Children. I have no problem with a woman who has a kid...even two. I don't see it a major issue. Some guys do. To each his own.
#6 - (I posted this entire list before and this one had to do with a woman's physical appearance. I'm choosing to delete it here. To each his own!)
#7 - I like a woman who can be supportive, but still can come with strong suggestions when it is needed. I don't want to be allowed to swim in my own bullshit forever. For a while, maybe, but not forever. I like a woman who can push me to be a better man without needing to break me down to do it. ENCOURAGEMENT is the key.
#8 - I like a woman to have good friends. Preferable with women who aren't bitter themselves. I can't necessarily control a woman's friends. I know that. A woman has to examine her friends on her own. The Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals and that we should not be deceived in this. Bottom line: who you surround yourselves with matters.
#9 - It is important to me that a woman has access to good mentors. The Bible says that the older women should teach the younger women how to be good wives. THIS MEANS THAT GOD KNOWS IT IS NOT A NATURAL SKILL-SET. Bottom line here is that we all will do what we have seen unless we are purposeful about learning a new way.
#10 - There is a final factor having to do with leadership and roles in the household, church and etc. I am more of a traditionalist when it comes to those things.
#11 - There is a final one that is HUGE. It's companionship. There is a book called His Needs - Her Needs that gets into it. A man, me included, wants a woman that enjoys just being with him. Like every now and again actually going to a game or going fishing or doing some yardwork. Whatever. It doesn't really matter. Men need to talk to their women. Women need to do activities with their men.
Those are my thoughts. Am I missing anything?