Yet Another Way Pornography Destroys.

I am hearing from a lot of men who are feeling absolutely inadequate and like it is impossible to please a woman. I think this is a real opportunity for ministry! But I can't do it alone.  If you are involved with a man, you (as a woman after God's heart) have a real opportunity to minister to the man to whom God has assigned you! That's all I'll say. Sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping. I really don't know what else to say. I know that you will be blessed if you become a blessing.

Often, when I write this way, the instinct is for several people to reply "Well, what about me and my needs?!" I hear you loud and clear. But you can only be responsible for your own actions. A part of having faith in God is having faith in your relationships to. Even when I post on He Who Finds A Wife, I never let guys respond with "WHAT ABOUT HER???" You have to be responsible for your own obedience to the Lord's commands first and foremost.

The real problem, I think, is pornography. Men see that material and begin to compare themselves to the 2% of men who are enormous size-wise. Those images never leave our minds.  I think this is an area where women can truly minister to their husbands. I mean TRULY minister. It is needed. I talked to several WISE women I know. All talked about skill, technique and foreplay as being the most important things. A few talked about the need to feel "dominated" in regards to a man being sexually aggressive. In other words, it isn't about size.  But I know some great men who are deathly afraid to marry because they think they can't or won't measure up.  They are terrified that their faith, financially stability and love won't matter to a woman.

Here is what one wrote to me. She is a woman who runs two counseling centers for women:

"Mark, Considering a lot of misinformation out there, I want to share both my educational and personal understanding:

  1. The “G” spot is only about three inches in, thus if taught correctly, a woman could orgasm unlimited amount of times, literally with something the size of a middle finger.
  2. A woman’s vagina is between 3-4 inches deep. 
  3. Exceptional large men cannot insert their entire penis…this can easily be seen in even porn. 
Now, as a woman who works with women. Over and over again we find that the thrust is not the key in sexual satisfaction. Being a person who is a seeker of knowledge, I am sure you know a lot about the need to stimulate the variety of erogenous zones in a woman. What you may not know is that “surrender” plays such a key role in a woman’s sexual satisfaction, and the sits squarely on her need of feeling secure. Many women, and men seek all kinds of intensity of sexual play in hopes of getting that high, but the high doesn’t originate in the size, shape, or position as much as it does in the mind. 

And I hear this over and over again with women. They want to blame everything else, but look at their own inner wounds. So, to recap, whether women admit it, or even know it, size does not matter. Technique and relationship is the biggest key in sexual ecstasy."

I got about 30 similar responses from women of various ages and backgrounds. They all said virtually the same thing. Now, maybe you should be more vocal about sharing this with the man you love!?

Also, guys, just leave pornography alone.  It isn't worth it.  Why involve yourself in something that is going to destroy intimacy, productivity and personal peace on top of being sinful?  If you need help, check out Every Man's Battle for some great resources!

Thank you for your honesty and patience! Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!


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