But Is Pornography Adultery?

I'm going to have to say no. Pornography is the sin of sexual temptation run wild and you, man, have to guard your eyes and heart before it leads you places you don't want to go...potentially costing you everything you truly value. And I mean EVERYTHING! Check out the graphic on my other post! Pornography addictions are costly. Too costly. If you see yourself going down that path, steer away now!

But my question isn't whether pornography is lust or whether it's sin. The question is whether it's adultery.  Should a woman feel justified in divorcing a man who is involved in pornography?  It is bad. Very bad. Not good. I am not saying pornography is okay.  However, I know a woman who left her husband because she caught him watching porn. He admitted to never having slept with another woman and she believed him but she said "It's the same thing!!!" and proceeded to kill her marriage.  Hearing that made me cringe and sad at the same time.

You might argue that he killed it by going to that website. I say she committed the greater sin.  I didn't say pornography wasn't a sin. But is lusting after a woman the same as wrecking one or more households because you two slept together? NO! This is an example of the logic of "I thought about it so I might as well do it." in action. Don't fall into that trap.

I'm not calling pornography good. It is bad for sure. However, it is very different than laying down with another person. That is MUCH HARDER for a couple to recover from! In the scenario above, the husband repented, asked for forgiveness and offered to get counseling. She filed for divorce.

Most bible teachers say sexual intercourse outside of marriage is proper grounds for divorce. Is watching pornography acceptable grounds for divorce? Before you say "yes" to this question and call it adultery, I ask you (even women) to be honest about how many times you've looked at another person with lust, but got convicted, repented and never acted on it. If you say you WOULD file for divorce over adultery but MIGHT NOT over pornography, you are saying they are NOT the same.

All I'm really saying is you have to allow for some grace. I think women penalize their husbands too much not realizing or understanding that

  • Consuming pornography is normally just a symptom of a bigger problem and an opportunity to talk and redevelop some intimacy and...
  • Men are much more visually stimulated than you think by a factor of 30X and he has not seen it as the kind of betrayal YOU see it as and...
  • You are not extending the same grace you want extended to you in other areas of your walk. 
Pornography addiction is a major problem, but it is recoverable. And it's not the same as adultery in deed any more than a woman's failure to submit to her husband is automatically grounds for divorce. If you need help with sexual temptation, please contact:

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