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11/29/13

The Incredible Praise-to-Criticism Ratio


One quality I have always observed in people is how they use their tongues. Do you promote healing? Does you build up? Or do you criticize, condemn and destroy? (Yes. Sarcasm fits into the destructive category, I'm afraid.)

"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing." - Proverbs 12:18

It is said that it takes several compliments to undo the damage of one criticism. Harvard says effective teams have a ratio that works: 5.6 compliments for every criticism. They call it the "Praise-to-Criticism" Ratio.

Long before I knew what to call it, I knew Solomon's words. I also wonder whether this applies to successful marriages and child rearing. I suspect you know which way I'm leaning on that. So I watch people. I watch them in real life. I watch them online. I read their tweets. I look at how they talk to their children. I can't tell you how important this measure of a man or woman is to me. If you can't build people up, you can't be in my life. If you can't minister hope and grace, I can't be in a relationship with you and I must not compromise on this.

Candidly, these days I openly wonder whether some of us would have anything to say if we weren't ridiculing somebody.  Sigh. We've got to do better, saints. We've got to do better.  If YOU need this kind of help, consider joining one of my coaching programs. 



Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.comPhone: 281-846-5720 Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/ Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter.

Get Your Hopes (and Your Goals) Up!


Get your hopes and goals up! Generally-speaking, you're going to get just about what you expect so why not expect more?

My own experience is in line with this.  In so many areas of my life, I've accomplished my goals. What I realized, however, is that I've still been sighting my sights too low. So I sat down yesterday for a redo. I recast my goals. You should do the same!  I'm going to celebrate my victories and press higher.  I'm not going to look back and regret anything.  ONLY FORWARD!  ONLY FORWARD!  In Christ, my past has zero to do with where I'm going now.  The past is no precedent for your future either.  ANYTHING is possible for you.  As I always say, you can get anywhere in the world you want to be from right where you are now.

If you're a member of my coaching group, check my latest post for two additional helpful tips! If you aren't, CLICK HERE for more information and join today! We will help you get your goals up!








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

11/7/13

It's OKAY to be Excited!

I see so many people stifle their enthusiasm about people, events, themselves, their future.  They say things like "Today has been great... so far." or "I actually enjoyed that movie."  It's like someone is going to punish them for showing genuine joy and excitement about something.  Or... and this is true oftentimes... they have a hard time praising one thing without criticizing the other.  Shame!

However, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." I believe this covers great companies, great ministries, great health and even great relationships! Let your "Inner Tigger" out today!

It's okay to be excited! It really is.  It helps, too.

#MoreTiggerLessEeyore








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

11/3/13

How to Raise Your Level (Part 2)


In the previous blog, we talked about The Thermostat Principle.  Now, as promised, here are the first five things you need to change to adjust your thermostat settings!

1. Your thinking: As a man or woman THINKS in their heart... What is the content of your thinking? Challenge yourself to think about higher thoughts, to dream bigger dreams. Because your thoughts become your speech...

2. Your speaking: Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Even if you have stray thoughts) Don't allow yourself to have stray words. What comes out of your mouth kills and gives life. Also, your words become your decisions...

3. Your small decisions: Every decision matters. Every choice you make counts. You're always going towards your vision or away from it with everything you do so make this work to your advantage. This is critical because your small decisions become habits...

4. Your habits: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle Habits are the sum of the small decisions you make over and over. Habit is not a bad word. The question about a habit is what direction is it leading you? Towards your image of your best self or away from it? Take a look at your habits and decide for yourself. Also, you've heard it said before and here it is again. You can't stop a bad habit; you have to replace it with a good one. Work on this. It will be hard, but necessary. Because your habits are your character. You can't forever say, "I do this, but I'm NOT that!" Eventually, your habits are who are you are... We also call that character.

5. Your character"Character is destiny." - Hericlitus The person who develops a great character never has to worry about what life has in store for them. They will always prevail. It is inevitable. Character IS destiny.








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

11/1/13

How to Raise Your Level (Part 1)

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

If we really understood those words, it would change our lives. I can tell you the very day I got on the path to true success because it was the day that I realized that the whole process started between my ears! I was then and I am now what I believed I was.

You are who you think you are! No more. No less. In your heart or soul - the collection of your mind, emotions and will - you have created a definition of yourself and so have I. All of us do this. And our outer world continually manifests what that set of definitions in the same way that a thermostat will always adjust the temperature of a room back to its setting.

I call this "The Thermostat Principle" and you should keep reading!

Think about it this way. If the thermostat of a room is set for 74 degrees, what happens when the door is opened on a hot day? Right! The air conditioner will turn on and begin to blow cold air until the room gets back to the level for which it’s been set: 74 degrees. If the thermostat is set for 74 degrees and it’s a cold day outside, the furnace will kick on and blast warm air into the entire house just to get the temperature in the room back up to 74 degrees. The entire system is set up to make sure it returns to that setting – the definition of “comfortable” with which you have set the thermostat.

Our systems – our lives, relationships, work, habits – everything tend to line up to bring us back to our internal setting. When I first really, truly understood this it made me kind of sad and somber. I looked at what I felt like was a lack of productivity and a lack of success and realized that I had created my own world. For better or for worse, I was 100% responsible for what I saw as a result of how I thought.

I had set my thermostat to “Just Above Average” and left it there for years! Therefore, no matter difficult things became from time to time, I was always able to get my life back to just above average. When I would experience big successes, I would follow them up with a setback or something that would bring my life back down to just above average. If new opportunities came to me, I would habitually choose the ones that produced more just above average-ness instead of the ones that opened a door to possible greatness. My thermostat was constantly adjusting my world.

Through it all, at least my thermostat was working! I could take some victory from that, right?

So then it made me happy after I got over myself! I got happy because I knew that I was just as close to changing my life by changing my thoughts! If the way I thought and the way I thought about myself had created a just-above-average life, then elevating my thoughts could elevate my life! Right?!!

Exactly.

There’s another thing, too. If you leave the door open so that it’s difficult for the temperature to come back to the proper setting, the air conditioner or furnace will literally go all day and all night trying to get back to the setting for which they are programmed, burning up a lot of energy in the process. This is what happens in a lot of our lives. We burn ourselves out and used a lot of energy to try to change the circumstances in our lives – our temperature – but we don’t realize that it’s more productive, faster and costs us less energy to just change our settings.

My next task was to begin to search for ways to rewire my brain. I discovered how important it is to stay plugged in to people who value what I value and who are going the way I'm going. That's why groups like this are so important!

In the next blog, the 5 things you need to do to change your thermostat settings!








Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!