Learn to Forgive or Stay Stuck. Your Choice!

So much anger, bitterness and unforgiveness out there.  No wonder so many people struggle in their relationships.  They are constantly trying to make everyone else pay for past hurts.

I believe I have the gift of encouragement. Hard earned, by the way. I've been betrayed, gutted like a fish emotionally and left for dead, spat upon literally and figuratively, abandoned, used, wasted, lonely, broke and damn near homeless because of combinations of my own mistakes and those who sought to hurt me. You think I can't relate when I say "Forgive" and don't know what I'm talking about? Please.

I think part of my demeanor suggests to people that I haven't been through much - and certainly not what you've been through. False. But I still say "Forgive" because that's where the power is. That's where restoration begins to happen. You don't forgive. You stay stuck. Simple.

But how, you ask?  How can you forgive?  How can you trust?

Here are some thoughts...

• Understand that you have committed sins more heinous towards God than those that have been committed against you and He has chosen to forgive you anyway. 
• Understand that you have often hurt people as much (or more) than those who have hurt you. You don't consider it as such, but they do. You've chosen to justify your actions and vilify theirs. 
• Place a value on what you believe was done to you. If you "price" it out, you will find that it is usually not as costly as you think. Did they destroy your life? No. You're still here. 
• Understand that the person who hurt you can't restore you anyway. Release them from the debt. Releasing them releases you. 
• Stop holding one person's sin against everybody else. That's as unrighteous as me hating others because they resemble you. 

Is it a process? Maybe. I don't tend to think so. I tend to think it's a decision. Eventually you will have to either decide to forgive or decide to continue to hold the sins against that person. Ultimately it is your choice to be free or remain captive.

You have to remember that you have an enemy who works overtime to remind you of your past, as well. He will send messages and messengers about your past to try and stagnate you. Sometimes you have to understand that it's just an echo, compartmentalize it as such and remind yourself that you've moved on from that place. It is unreasonable to think memories won't ever come back. In time, the hurt will fade, too.

Blessings.  I'm standing with you!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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Talk So People Will Listen; Listen So People Will Talk

So I've started doing Hangouts on Google+ with Don Purdum and he really likes topics like transparency, communication and such.  He's truly pushing me to open up.  I think I like it, but I'm not quite sure.  I keep thinking he's going to press me to open up about something crazy soon!  Join us every Tuesday morning at 9:30 AM LIVE to see what happens.  Or just subscribe to this blog.  I'll probably post most of them.

Anyway, listen to us talk about keys to better communication in relationships and in business.  Click HERE or on the graphic above to begin the video!  We're having fun doing these and hope you're getting good stuff out these!  One thing I enjoyed discussing was "His Needs, Her Needs" and the importance of intimacy, honesty and openness in communication with our partners!

What else can we talk about for you?

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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Prepare For What You've Prayed For!

"Be Prepared." That's the Boy Scout motto. It's also my word for today.

I have shared with you, my friends, a few times before that I believe the Lord shares things with me in dreams regarding direction for my life, encouragements and (sometimes) warnings.  This happens a few times a month for me, typically, and I post them here when I feel the unction that someone else could benefit.  Today is another of those days...

The word of the day is "Prepare" for some of you.

In my dream, I was attending a large convention as one of the featured speakers.  Large gathering.  Convention center.  There appeared to be something in the range of 5000 people attending.  I didn't have a problem with the material or size of the crowd.  But I wasn't ready.

As I waited in the private lounge wherein I was supposed to be getting dressed, I realized I didn't even have my suit with me.  It was in the car.  I had only brought my shoes inside in my travel bag.  As the presenter before me hit the place in his speech where I knew there were only fifteen minutes left before I was to go on, I found myself running around frantically.  I was not going to be ready on time.  I was going to be late.  There was no way to be ready on time by this point.  None!

I was going to be late.  I was going to make a bad impression on the crowd and organizers as they would have to tap dance around for a few minutes while I got dressed.  Late!  Ouch!  Future opportunities missed!

Oh well.

Here's the thing.  The Lord is telling me to prepare for what I've been praying for.  For some of you, you're in the same place.  I KNEW it was almost time for me to come forward.  I was in the right place for it.  But I had not prepared.  What a shame!  What a tragedy!  How terrible to know your day is coming, have a chance to be ready to take full advantage of it and STILL not be ready!!

That's the word for today: Your prayers are about to be answered so prepare for what you prayed for.  Don't allow God's blessings to catch you off guard.  He's heard your request and doors are about to open.  Be ready to walk through them!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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Fast Food Free?

I just started this event if anyone wants to join me and share tips and testimonies! Health gurus welcomed! JOIN MY FACEBOOK EVENT AND SHARE YOUR TIPS!

Here's my motivation.  I was sitting with a consulting prospect the other day and got an unexpected tidbit of advice. Heavily-accented English and blunt the way only older men are blunt when they speak.  As we talk, he leans into me and says "You see that park over there? I walk every morning.  You should try it." while somewhat glancing at my little-bit-of-a-belly.  There's not much worse than a prospect calling you fat.  Mind you.  I am NOT FAT by American standards, but people from other countries tend to look at us like we're pigs.  And, I'll grant him this.  He looked great for a man who's probably closer to seventy than to fifty.

I work out quite a bit.  A few times a week anyway.  I could look really good and also have my blood pressure and other metrics in line if my diet was better.  You can never out work a bad diet.

I think cutting foods that I get at drive-thrus out will by itself be a huge improvement!

As I always say: "You can't Live BIG or Die Empty from a sick bed!"  Join us!!  What are your tips for eating better?

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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Still A Dreamer...

Here's a strange and weird story to tell. It's personal and gory. But I feel like if people can post their illicit photos and weekend adventures, I can share this. I believe the Lord sometimes encourages me and gives me direction through dreams and I had such a dream last night:

In the dream, I had to cross a two fields and over an hurdle to reach my prize. There were several other people making the same trip. The first field was littered with dead birds all around, underfoot. Carcasses all around. I don't think I had killed them. It looked like most had been trampled by others or run into obstacles while trying to fly. Still they were there on the ground. Dead. Several people wouldn't cross the field. The stench was too strong for them. Or either it was that you had to listen to the crunch of broken bones under your feet as you walked? Many couldn't take it.

I did. I stomached what I had to deal with. I crossed that field.

Then we came to a tall chain-link fence with an oak tree on the other side... in the way that trees and fences can begin to grow together after so many years. It was a tall fence, but not monstrous. I had to work hard to get over it and knew I'd more than likely have to jump down quite a distance on the other side. It was a nasty fence. Covered in bird poop. Mangled links. The kind that can cut and scar you if you make a wrong move. It was distasteful. It was dangerous.

I climbed it. Some people were amazed. Some people were disgusted. Some climbed over and some didn't choose to. I climbed and then I jumped to the other side.

Finally, as I hit the ground I realized there was one more hindrance facing me. The limbs of the tree were so old and so low to the ground that I could not walk past the tree. I had to get down on my belly and I had to crawl. Squirrels tried to bite at my face as I slithered along the ground. I had to inhale so much dirt and feces that it felt like I might as well be eating it. Not my best moment at all.

But I crawled. I did it. I made it.

Many didn't complete the journey. I didn't have to do anything supernatural. I just had to stomach it and keep going. I had to press beyond the carcasses of past failures - both mine and others. I had to work hard to climb and overcome that obstacle. It was tall and difficult, but not impossible. Not impossible. It only took hard work. Finally, I had to humble myself and get low... very low...and grimy.

The good news is I made it. I needed to do some things for my family and for my destiny and I made it happen. What a great feeling to know that you'll do whatever you have to do to accomplish your goals! I'm encouraged as I begin a new day! I'm excited to move forward and deal with the things I have to deal with no matter how dirty or distasteful. I know my resolve will be tested, but I will pass the test.

You will pass your test, too! This is how life is.  You press forward with all your strength and until you get "there" you don't stop!  Be encouraged!

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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Real Talk on Business, Marriage, Family & Life

I got a chance to sit down with Don Purdum this morning to talk transparently about some of my past failures and lessons learned. If you don't know about Don, check out his Facebook page and you'll be blessed for sure!




I'd love to know what you think.  I don't want to elaborate too much now. I enjoyed getting a chance to share and I'll be doing it more in the coming weeks.  Watch the video! Let me know what other topics you'd like to hear discussed!

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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"How to Become a Woman Worth Finding" Coaching Call

Did you miss my last "Be Worth Finding" Coaching Call? They are always fun and educational and even inspirational!! (Here's a link to the Event Page in case you want to join in some of the conversation!)

I had two special guests on this call! Two amazing guests! Betty-Anne Marie White and the Queen B, Belinda Oliver, joined me! The hour was all about healing and preparing for those of you who want meaningful relationships! Be sure to join their pages at Woman, Reveal Yourself and Belinda E. Oliver, too, to learn more about them!  We talked about

• How to know when you're healed... 
• What are real red flags versus what are negotiable issues... 
• Why masturbation could be a problem... 
• How to be on purpose instead of desperate in your desire to have a relationship... 
• and much more!

Download the link to listen to the broadcast below.  You can support Belinda by purchasing her books from Amazon.com here and here! And contact Betty-Anne directly if you want to have her in for a conference or workshop.


One more thing...

Because this is the most common question I get by far! "Mark, what is a good woman? What does she look like? How does she act? How can I become a woman worth finding?" I knew the best way to answer this question for you was to put together a complete teaching on it, so that's what I've done! I will show you what men of God are looking for and look at it all through the best lens of all - the Word of God!

I am releasing this in conjunction with the next HUGE "Be Worth Finding" Conference Call and I wanted to give you a chance to pre-order now at a special offer price of just $4!!! The regular price is $10 but all of my friends and supporters here can get ahead of the crowds and take advantage of this price. I am only doing this for a short time for sure!

Read more here!

Take advantage of the special offer here!


Here's the LINK to download the rebroadcast!

What did you think of the broadcast?  Add your comments below!  What other topics do you want to hear about?




____________________________________________________________
Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com 
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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The Struggle to Believe

The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" ~Mark 9:24

Don't feel alone if you struggle with faith and hope sometimes. I feel you. We're eye-to-eye on that as I write this blog. We try and make it a cute little thing.  Almost cartoonish.  I believe! But believing is hard sometimes!  Exercising your faith can evoke tears and even screams as if you're wrestling with the God of the Universe and yourself as you struggle to hold your own as your fears and doubts wage war with your hopes and beliefs.  A real faith walk is no comedy.

In many ways I feel like I'm in the battle of my life.  How big can I believe?  How much can I trust the Lord? Can I launch out into deeper waters knowing He will empower me to walk and catch me if I fall?  I often feel like the man crying out to Jesus, "Help me believe!"

Nevertheless, I press on.  I trust God and I trust His timing.  I trust His calling and purposes for me.  That is the message I want to leave with you.  If you feel momentary doubts, be encouraged.  That makes you just like Moses, Joshua, Abraham and Sarah, David, Paul, Timothy, Joseph the Father of Jesus and countless others.  Already my life looks nothing like it looked even a year ago.  He has been faithful to this point and I know He'll carry me on.

You be encouraged, too!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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If I could change just one thing about you, I'd change your..

If I could change one thing in the world right now when it comes to relationships, it would be this wave of cynicism that has overtaken people. My thought is the cynicism I see expressed throughout this world these days is not serving people well at all.

It's making things worse.

Any statement that begins with "All", "Many" or "Most" is probably wrong before even the next word is typed.  But think about how often TODAY you will read or hear someone say "(All) women don't...." or "Most men..."  Frankly, I think we need to give people more credit than that.  Substitute the word "some" in their place and you might be closer to the truth.  Maybe.

More importantly, these words you speak aren't ministering grace to the hearers and is destroying fruit. A lot of what you think has to be said, doesn't. Not at all. Even worse, you're hurting more than you're helping. 

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." ~ Ephesians 4:29

Death and life are still in the power of the tongue. If you want to have healthy relationships, you have to speak healthy relationships over yourself and over those around you. Complaining, categorizing and generally making a commotion doesn't help. Not at all.  Your words shape your life.

What do you think?  Add your comments below!
____________________________________________________________
Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com 
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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Music That Resonates with My Soul

This is a little different blog from me.  Let's see how it goes.  Simply put, these are songs of which I never get tired. Each has a special place in my soul. I imagine they always will.  I wanted to share them because they all have something in common... they are impossible to duplicate... timeless... specially unique.  They aren't all "spiritual" so to speak, but they inspire me to be my unique best, as well.  Here they are.  If you're going to judge me, go ahead and start a line!

Dream on by Aerosmith

"Dream until your dream comes true."  Enough said.  Even better that it's said at a pitch high enough to break glass.  I've seen people try and fail to copy this.  I'm sad for them.

Hurt by Johnny Cash

The Man in Black's autobiography in a single song.  You can feel his regrets and joys in everything he wrote.  Johnny Cash always wrote his life in his songs.  He was brave like that.  We should all be so courageous. 

Redemption Song by Bob Marley

Perhaps the most beautiful and thoughtful song I can think of.  Only surpassed by Lauryn Hill's version.  Transcendent.  Bob Marley's voice is another that can't be mimicked. Not well, anyway.  I love him for it.

Fight the Power by Public Enemy

I will never get tired of Public Enemy and will like this song until I'm dead and gone.  Chuck D's language the epitome of rappers making social commentary: "Rapping in anger" as he calls it.

Glory to Glory to Glory by Fred Hammond

Fred Hammond is one the few Christian artists who seems to be ministering and leading sincere worship towards God instead of just entertaining an audience.  I respect that.

Chan Chan by Buena Vista Club

This is the most romantic song ever in my mind. It hits every note... lyrics, music, meaning, purpose, partnership in love, exotic locale.  Everything.  I want to live this song.

Children's Story by Slick Rick

The next time you catch me at karaoke night, I will be performing this song.  Book it! One of the few I can recite line-for-line from beginning to end and never miss a line or vocal inflection. I'll let you know when I'm going to the club.

Jack & Diane by John Cougar (Mellencamp?)

This little ditty right here.  It is a true classic.  It will not get old.  It will not fade.  This is American rock.  You know it, too.  You could sing it with me.  Just put a little gravel in your voice.

Again, I know this is a little different way of expressing myself.  What are some songs that truly resonate with you?  Share them below!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY.  Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

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