...why aren't more people getting married? Why aren't more married people staying married? I've read in the church the divorce rate is even higher than among non-Believers. If marriage is so great, what's the deal?"
Very tough question to answer and there’s no way to do it without controversy. Therefore, let me say up from that I really like the way my pastor puts it: you get married to accomplish something greater than either of you could accomplish alone!
Any other answers I give have the potential to sound sexist. Therefore, I’ll do my best to be candid and honest but unbiased. I urge you not to toss my answers aside if they’re offensive. They’re only my perspective and they are male…which will itself possibly rub you and your readers the wrong way. Think about these reasons why people aren't getting married and staying married:
- Many people, especially men, aren’t connected to their purposes enough to realize they need help accomplishing it.
- Some women aren’t connected enough to their purposes to understand their purposes might be connected to a man to be worked on in tandem.
- Sex is very available and a lot of women don’t offer anything more than that - and sex remains a HUGE reason for men to settled down.
- Immaturity, fear and selfishness.
- Christians erroneously think "being saved" is a relationship skill. It isn't. Men still like womanly women. Women still like manly men. There were men and women living and marrying and building lives long before Christ walked the Earth.
- They don’t understand the fullness of life that can come from being in a purposeful.
- People see marriage as being too risky...especially divorcees who feel like they can't afford to "lose" again in love.
So...why am I so "pro-marriage"? Lots of lots of reasons. Even though it's tough, I believe we are social creatures who benefit in so many wonderful ways from having companionship and partnership in our lives. I believe it's an attack of the enemy to isolate us and cause us to think differently. I believe singleness could be robbing the body of Christ of its witness, its power and its cohesion. The current "wisdom" relating to marriage is wait...wait...wait...take your time ...wait...wait...wait...and....wait. We date FOREVER...stay engaged FOREVER and then, finally, stay married half as long as many of the previous generations did.
I think it's time to give the current wisdom the boot and start looking for partners again!
Now, here's something you can for me...
1. Send me your questions and/or post comments below!
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We're building a community and we're dedicated to helping as many people as we can have happier, healthier and more fruitful relationships!!