Testimony from a reader: "The Courage to Leave Someone Behind"

We wanted to share this testimony from one of our readers...

Hi Mark,

I read your response! Thanks for that perspective. As I read that response, I was drawn to another link (Day 5 of the series 31 Days to Healthier Relationships- "The Courage To Leave Someone Behind") you posted on your page because it was something I had to do recently.

Talk about the Lord speaking to me through scripture, a dream, wise counsel, prayer and fasting....all of which confirmed what I knew I had to do in my heart. Believe me, it was not easy. We had been friends for almost 4 years and there was potential for marriage and all that, but he "could not hear from God" and wasn't ready to commit to me.

Another issue was that we operated under the guise of "best friends" but everything about our interactions was more like people in a relationship. It was a convoluted bundle of emotional confusion, constant need to establish boundaries, take breaks, etc... What kind of friendship needs all of that?

So I got the courage to end the friendship entirely. I am in a new season, new city, new career and I just felt it in my heart that I can't bring the old with me. Based on our cycle of dysfunction, I knew that we would have an argument or something irritating would happen at least within 2-3 months.

One of the scriptures that spoke to me was 1 Corinthians 13:11 - when I was child, I spoke and thought like a child.....but now that I am [grown] I put away childish things". Then also Hebrews 12: 1- 3 "Cast aside every weight and every sin that snares....and run the race that is set before you..." The final scripture that God spoke was in Genesis 20, when God asked Abram to sacrifice Issac on the altar. I am doing a one year bible study and how about the day I was scheduled to read Genesis 20, I just "so happened" to be talking about that passage with a friend earlier that day? I didn't know what was next in my study...but when I turned to it, there it was....

After I made the decision, I then saw a series of teachings and messages that helped to confirm and encourage me in my decision. Your reference to Abram and Lot was among the scriptures that I saw AFTER I made the decision to obey God. You are actually the 2nd person I know of that used that scripture to explain when God calls for a divine separation. The first person was Pastor Toure Roberts...

This word blessed my socks off because it was confirmation. So your blog was definitely confirmation.

I tell you, I am learning the blessing in obedience! Even when Saul tried to bring a sacrifice to the Lord, Samuel rebuked him saying "obedience is better than sacrifice" meaning - the highest form of worship in God's eyes is obedience. He doesn't care about your songs, your monetary offerings, etc. more than he does our obedience. If we will obey God completely, it will bring us the greatest outcome. When I look back at the last 2 years of my life and the friendship I had, to be honest, I would not have missed anything. There was no good fruit from our friendship the last 2 years and if I had obeyed God the first time he spoke to my heart, I could have saved myself a lot of time, energy and heartache. But I thank God.....I learned my lesson with a counterfeit and not the real thing!

I heard a word of encouragement just this past Sunday on the topic of mistakes. The pastor referenced Peter in the text and the fact that God knew he was going to fail (where Jesus said "Satan wants to sift you like wheat") but still designed his future/destiny knowing that the mistake would be made, yet gave him a favorable outcome (e.g. became an apostle of the gospel). The clincher in the message was that Jesus said, in reference to the mistake, - "I pray that your faith will not fail you". I am not doing this message any justice in the simple way I am writing it, but I hope you can see what I am trying to say.

Alright! Thanks again for your blog. Leaving behind friendship and relationships are not easy....but indeed they are necessary at times....

God Bless.


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