Confession...there really isn't a Part Two yet, but people always send me questions and comments after I post about sex, so I'm allowing myself a placeholder!
When I wrote about the Top 5 Needs for men, some people were shocked to see "Sexual Fulfillment" at the top of the list. Guys cheered! Some women felt demeaned. Some responded with a loud "Amen!" Mostly, I get questions from women asking "what is good sex to a man?"
As a reminder, here's a portion of what Dr. Harley wrote before:
"The typical wife doesn’t understand her husband's need for sex any more than the typical husband understands his wife's need for affection. This need in men is so strong that it must be satisfied -- in or out of the marriage. When a man binds himself in marriage, he makes the assumption that his wife will be available to him sexually. If that is not the case, it it sets the stage for an affair -- which will be destructive to the marriage."
In fact, I was in a conversation about this just the other day. I think sex is so important to a man than he only has two options if he isn't getting good sex at home: get it elsewhere or wish he was getting it elsewhere and live a miserable life. It is much, much easier for a woman to live a sexless life and be content. It is much, much easier for men to be manipulated by sexual desire. So much so that a lot of men are just ticking time bombs if his need isn't being addressed at home.
But what is good sex?
I can summarize my theory of good sex to a man for his wife in one sentence: Most husbands want their wives to be about five times freakier than they are right now. Period. Five times. He just doesn't know how to tell you. However freaky you think you are right now, multiply it and you'll be closer to what he desires. It's not about frequency all of the time. It's about unrestrained enthusiasm. He doesn't need it every day if he can remember the last time for a week!
Allison Armstrong said good sex is the best 15 minutes a married woman can invest into her life. It improves the marriage, the family, the finances and your spiritual lives all at once...and doesn't take that much work on her part.
I agree 100%!!!
Now...here's another good point about sex. Dr. James Dobson said a couple who isn't having sex at least three times a week is LAZY!
So get on your jobs!!! LOL
Seriously. There was a couple who wrote a book about having sex every day for a year. I think he's somewhere on an IV drip now, but I applaud the effort! Not sure I could go there, but once a month ain't going to work either.
So this is for the married couples obviously so far. If you are single and want to make sure your married sex is terrible, keep having sex right now. Or, you can keep your pants up and you'll send me a "thank you" later. You're welcome.
Send me some questions...let me know what we can write about. This is fun!