Day Eleven: There is a BIG difference between “waiting” and “hiding”

By Mark Anthony McCray

I was asked to speak on the air recently on a program called, "Jesus is My Husband? Really? Why was I asked? Because I made the statement "waiting on God is overrated”!

In the old days people used to "help" God out by inviting a guy over to dinner or a lady might even bake a pie and bring it to church for a guy she was interested in. Let's just say I know from experience. My thought is this: while you are "waiting", a woman who is just as saved, spiritual and sanctified is at Outback Steakhouse right now with a man who thought YOU were cute, too.

It's so crazy to me. I think some of my dear female friends are waiting on men to become mind readers. If you like him, it might be okay to say so. It's not going to kill you and you can do just as good of a job at "waiting" out in public somewhere as you can do at home!

This is only a recent cultural thing where ALL OF A SUDDEN half the women I meet are "waiting" on "him" to come. It has never, ever, been this way. The mothers of the church would invite a single guy over to eat and WHAT DO YOU KNOW? Young Sister Davis just happens to stop by!

...or she might suddenly need some help moving a large couch and ask the brothers from church to lift some furniture and help her move. When he's done, he's all tired. He needs to sit down and have some lemonade, right?? Now hear me out. These are some of my reasons as to why this is disturbing to me:

1 - Forbidding and discouraging to marry is a biblical sign of false teachers. This is happening A LOT these days.

2 - It is dysfunctional to encourage social creatures to refrain from building intimate relationships.

3 - I am concerned that it is sometimes a tool of manipulation in some church circles to keep people single.

4 - Prolonged waiting on him or “Him" is only going to make it tougher on most of us to meld into a good couple when we do come together.

5 - There is scientific PROOF (look it up) that prolonged waiting to start families and have children is increasing the incidence of breast cancer. Don't believe me? Research it. Women "need" to have fewer menstrual cycles early in their lives. Marrying later and having fewer children is very bad for health.

6 - Too much singleness is destroying the fabric of our society, I fear, and its finances. Just think about some of your situations - even if your husband could only add another $300-$500 net increase to your life, how much easier would it have made certain situations? How much better and more stable would some of our households be?

7 - I believe we are giving the enemy too much room to play around in our psyches. Hear me out - I DO NOT BELIEVE women are designed for all this feeling of rejection and isolation that is out there. Eve never knew life without Adam. I think there is something to that.

8 - Finally, I believe a man who has VISION is not at full strength without a good woman by his side. There is a reason to get married - to accomplish something greater than you can do alone - as my pastor says.

The bible says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." --- Guys, maybe some of your prayers will only be answered when you get married?

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