An Honest Letter to My Sisters

from Mark Anthony McCray

I wasn't going to post on this today.

I had an online conversation last night and seeing the posts on Be Worth Finding and He Who Finds a Wife this morning steered me in this direction. Frankly, I struggled to sleep last night because I have so much on my mind these days about so many issues. This is one of them. I hear you loud and clear! Many of my sisters in Christ want to be married. You want a husband. I want to tell all of you that your day is coming, but I know that's not true. Statistically, many of you will not get married...or remarried. That's just a fact. If you're already 35 or older, the chances fall waaaaaaaay down if you believe the reports. I do.

However, I don't believe the statistics have to apply to YOU if you get what I'm saying. Just because something is true on the global level doesn't mean it has to be true on the individual level. I believe there are attitudes and dispositions that can make a woman much more likely to be courted by a good man for a serious marital commitment. LOL That's a lot of words to say "a good man will cherish you enough to propose" I guess!

I've written about this before and I'm going back to it again. If you look at Genesis 24, you'll find the story of Abraham and Isaac in terms of the decision being made to find Isaac a wife. Looking at verses 1-14 you'll find Abraham sending his servant out to look for a good woman. Interesting. Even more interesting is that the servant was wise enough to ask God what to look for in a woman. I love it! Let's look at what happens...

Rebekah Is Chosen

15 Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder.
16 The girl was very beautiful, a virgin, and no man had had relations with her; and she went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up.
17 Then the servant ran to meet her, and said, "Please let me drink a little water from your jar."
18 She said, "Drink, my lord"; and she quickly lowered her jar to her hand, and gave him a drink.
19 Now when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, "I will draw also for your camels until they have finished drinking."
20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, and ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels.
21 Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence, to know whether the LORD had made his journey successful or not.
22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half-shekel and two bracelets for her wrists weighing ten shekels in gold,
23 and said, "Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room for us to lodge in your father's house?"
24 She said to him, "I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor."
25 Again she said to him, "We have plenty of both straw and feed, and room to lodge in."
26 Then the man bowed low and worshiped the LORD.

What a story! There is so much that impresses me here as we look at how Rebekah became one of the matriarchs of the faith. There is so much here that, I believe, applies to us today. Many women are attractive, but very few will gain the attention of a quality man - the kind of man they say they want. Rebekah did, however. That's why I love her story. Here are some of the things I've picked up from her tale:

1. Rebekah was not actively out looking for a man. She wasn't trying to be found. She wasn't attending seminars on how to be sexier. She wasn't interested in running game on the playas. Rebekah was about her own business...

2. Rebekah was approachable. It would have been well within her abilities to totally ignore the servant. She also wasn't haughty. She didn't go with the "how dare you" routine or make it hard to learn about her personal life (within reason) even...

3. Rebekah was generous. The servant didn't approach until she had her water already...yet she didn't tell him "go get your own" but she shared what was hers...

4. Rebekah was consumed with service. She went beyond "beyond" by serving his camels. She didn't say "here's my jar. Do it yourself. I'm tired!" But she far exceeded the call. As a point of fact, the Bible says she went about helping quickly and even ran! How many people do you see who run to help someone else?

What was the result? Stunned silence at first. Worshipping God in thanks at the last. What was her outcome? Stability, wealth and a place among the great Matriarchs of the faith.

Forgive the extra-long blog. I just thought it was interesting. I am not suggesting that you let dudes live with you on your couch, pay for all your dates or loan Pookie some cash until he gets on his feet. HOWEVER...There is a LOT to be said for a woman who is kind, giving, patient and concerned for someone's well-being outside of her own. That's all I'm saying. I think this story is a tremendous model. A gentle smile and a little kindness will go a long way. Men are always watching and assessing. Just like the Servant. What do men see when they look at you?


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