I hate it. I hate it. I can't say that enough. Too much negativity!! Too many reasons to tell people to back out of relationships. Too damned many out clauses! I hate it. I'm tired of it. It's crap and it's killing healthy relationships to have people focused so many on warning signs instead of talking about what to look for - the green lights!
Let me get to the point. Here are things I believe a man should be looking for in a woman. I've keep it general for the most part so as to not descend into something that looks like a too personal wish list. I've written about the "lists" that men and women create before! I'll cover the other side next - what qualities we men should be developing in ourselves.
Here's my list. I had help. Based on what I've studied in God's Word, here are some things to seek out in a woman and reasons to proceed!! I wrote a little on this yesterday and I have a little more to add. Tomorrow, I'll be writing about what to look for in a man!
1. A Humble Servants Heart (Rebekah) - I've written about this before because I love her story. Rebekah demonstrated so much heart, humility and generosity that it impressed me tremendously. This has become one of the things I most look for and most admire in women.
2. Courage to Take Risks (Rahab) - Is any woman from the Old Testament mentioned as much in the New Testament as Rahab? I'll have to check. She was promised that she'd be famous for the ages for her courage and she is! She laid everything on the line to follow God's plan and it became salvation for her and for all of us! (This is Boaz' mom, by the way!)
3. Diligence (The Virtuous Wife) - An organized industrious woman is a rare jewel to find! No offense to anyone reading, but I've found the Proverbs 31 woman hype to be out of control. So much self-labeling from my sisters... I guess I'm okay with it from an aspirational point of view. She sets a high standard for sure. I've always appreciated her example.
4. Strong in the Faith (Timothy's Mother) - Timothy might be the only person (certainly in the New Testament) who's encouraged to live up to the faith of his mother!! In 2 Timothy 1:5 how powerful of Paul to recognize Timothy's mother and grandmother! It also shows that it is very possible for a woman to help raise her sons right since there is no evidence of Timothy's father being around or a factor in his development. Some suggest this is why Paul is drawn to him so much. But even Paul reminds his protege of the example shown to him by his matriarchs.
5. Respect (Sarah) - The Bible says (Peter, in fact, instead of the so-called misogynistic Paul) that Sarah obeyed Abraham...calling him lord. I know very few like that scripture but I didn't make it up. It's in there! In context, we see that Peter knows that this kind of reverence is a scary thing - and the right thing. A single woman should not be "obeying" a single man. A married woman shouldn't be deferring to anyone except her OWN husband. Still, we can see whether any of these things are going to be a problem long before marriage if we have any discernment.
Also, what's really a red flag anyway? I'd be willing to bet that most of the things labeled as such are "pink" at best - things that can be worked out, talked through or just ignored after a while. I challenge the definition at it's core. Think about it. Don't you get to a better place anyway if you become more focused on identifying the genuine instead of spotting a fake? You'll also appreciate what you have more when you find it.