8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Key #1 - Be Who You Are!

In the introduction to this series, I talked about getting intimate with your own special purpose. I believe that each of us was put here with a unique calling and a special mission. It may not always be grand, but it's yours. It is unique to you and you've been equipped for it. Check out what the Bible records as God's conversation with Jeremiah from Jeremiah 1:5-8:

"5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
And before you were born I consecrated you;
I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
6 Then I said, “Alas, Lord GOD!
Behold, I do not know how to speak,
Because I am a youth.”
7 But the LORD said to me,
“Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’
Because everywhere I send you, you shall go,
And all that I command you, you shall speak.
8 “Do not be afraid of them,
For I am with you to deliver you,” declares the LORD."

Please hear me on this point as you continue through your day: you are special. God knew you and planned for you and accounted for YOU in His eternal plan before you got here. You were always in His mind and never, never, ever and accident!

So, be who you are. No question this is the #1 thing I have "learned" and I'm walking in more powerfully than ever. I aim to be even more aggressively "me" in 2012. You have to determine in your mind to do the same. Just like Jeremiah, our first instinct is to give God and excuse! "I'm too young." "I'm too old." "I'm too short." "I'm too black." "If I had a wife, I would do it." "If I had a husband I could do it." "I'm too ______." Yap, yap, yap! You forget that He already knows. He created you with certain qualities for your mission. Some deficiencies He's allowed so He can get the glory.

Understand the distinction I'm making. Don't become overly concerned about being "better" at any particular task just yet. You're not going to prosper outside of your purpose anyway. There are many good things you are naturally, but you suppress them. Being authentically you will fix most of that and propel you forward in life.

Now go back and look at Verse 8. You don't have to be afraid to be yourself and do what you're here to do. Even if you have enemies, you have a Great Deliverer. Your worst imaginings of what could happen are just that. Imaginings.

Go forward. Be YOU!

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Introduction

I get a lot of questions e-mailed to me about purpose and how to get better, do better and be better. Tons. (I want more of them, frankly! I appreciate all the interaction.) There seem to be common themes emerging so I felt like it was time to dedicate some focus to these areas. People ask me things like

What is my purpose?
How can I know it for sure?
I know my purpose, but I feel stuck. What can I do?
Where can I find a mentor?
How can I raise the money?
How can I earn more money?
I'm not sure I'm meant for anything more. Am I?

These are all great questions! Over the next several blog posts, I'm going to address these and more. We have to start out talking about purpose and how to figure out yours, however. I truly believe you can't prosper or have true peace if you operate outside of your own special purpose. Therefore, until you are doing so, you're going to have a level of frustration in life you'll never be able to get away from.

The first thing I want you to do is watch this short video. It should help with some basics. I believe you already know your purpose in life and could just use some clarity. This video will give you some clarity. I first wrote about them here.



Now that you've watched that, you understand that hope and hype are great, but you need METHODS to truly advance in life.  In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

What is a "Dealbreaker" anyway?

I like to ask my readers questions, but today I need to make a statement to correct a common misconception. That's a fancy word for WRONG THINKING! I read all day everyday about "dealbreakers" and other such stupid ridiculousness. I call it ridiculousness because I've seen stuff listed such as nap-taking, height and aversion to eating soul-food listed as freaking dealbreakers. Really?

I mean for real, for real?

Garbage.

All this talk has you majoring in stuff that is easily fixable, bearable, temporary or invisible in the dark. Trust me on that. If I see another guy kick a wonderful woman to the curb because of something crazy and insignificant, there might be a fight right there on the street. Me and my saved self might have to throw down. I know 40 year old men with round bellies and half-George Jefferson-bald heads claiming they can't be with anyone other than a never-married, no kids, no serious ex-boyfriends, Masters Degree having, tongue-talking, freaky, Size 6 woman who walks around cooking and bowing to him all day saying "Yessa, Massa!"

I hear woman saying they can only have a man who...looks like The Rock (but hetero), preaches like TD Jakes (without the purple suits), cooks like Emeril (but isn't fat) and balls like Trump (but not a butthole.) Let me let you in on a secret: you can probably get a couple of these in one package, but you'll be hard-pressed to get all-in-one.

The #1 thing you should be looking for in a mate is someone with a SHARED VALUES SYSTEM. It starts there. It ends there. This addresses your faith, your belief in educational approaches, your politics, what you eat, where you will live, what you'll do for fun. EVERYTHING!

Should you partner with someone who doesn't share your VALUES SYSTEM? Absolutely not. Not ever. No way. That is the very epitome of compromise - and not the good kind either. The "good" kind of compromise is deciding to go to KFC when you two have argued too long about Church's vs. Popeye's. The "bad" kind of compromise is when you set aside your key beliefs in order to try to accommodate another person.

In other words, you should be ready and WILLING to compromise EVERYTHING except your VALUES SYSTEM.

Let me make another example: Does your values system REQUIRE you to wear red lipstick? No? I didn't think so. Now think about this...does your spouse prefer you to wear blue lipstick from time to time? Wear blue lipstick sometimes. Move on. Smile about it. On the other hand, does your values system REQUIRE you to never wear makeup? Look for a guy who hates makeup.

So sit and decide what your core values are. Write them down. These are core. The other things are not core. Flexibility outside the core values is necessary. I highly encourage everyone to write out their core values. I've done it myself. Then you'll truly know what a dealbreaker is and isn't.

You're welcome.

Read More

Getting People to Listen

Here's a simple way to offer advice that people NEED and have them actually LISTEN to you. You've heard it said that people don't care what you know until they know that you care. That's true! Now, here's the way to show them that you care quickly and in in a few short statements:

1. "I understand what you're feeling." - Use this statement (or one like it) to make it clear that you are listening and relating to what is on their heart and mind.

2. "I have felt the same way." - Show them that you've been there before...either in the same situation or in a similar one.

3. "Here's what I've found." - Detail what you learned and how you rose out of that place in life. This becomes their action items.

Don't quote these directly! That said, if you use this pattern, people will receive what they need to hear from you much better. They will feel that you care...and then care about what you know!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

Read More

"And now...we're pleased to present..."

Always...always...always write YOUR OWN intro speech!! At least whenever possible. You want to be the one who influences how you're received. Unless the group is familiar with you, the host's words will help shape impressions BEFORE you even begin to speak. Don't take introductions lightly! Here's a brief article I've found that will help you introduce people or write your own introductions more effectively! I just finished writing mine for tomorrow night!

Great Tips for Download Here!

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

Read More

Resting Is A Vital Part of Working

You're the coach, the mentor, the leader and teacher. You constantly pour out. Remember to get a refill for yourself from time to time! Take a break. Get somewhere quiet. Catch a movie in the middle of the day. Pray. Read. Exercise. Make sure you're tending to yourself or you won't have anything to give!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

Read More

Blog on Purpose.

Let me share a tip with you about how to use your blog better: blog as preparation for your presentations!

For example...if there's a topic on which you anticipate being asked to speak or even interviewed, blog it out. It will help you organize your thoughts well in advance. Now...here's a bonus...if you want to know which points are going to be stronger, post them on a message board, twitter or Facebook and see what ideas get the best reception.

I often do this to improve my writing, plus people will let you know where you're strong or weak and even shed new light on things for you.

We can use social media to help us refine our messages. Our posts and tweets don't have to be "random" even though it can look like it. I'm usually building something for the future or refining how I can communicate an idea. Well...not always of course, but you get what I mean!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

Read More

Keep Selling After the Sale!

When I was going my MBA work they taught us a powerful key to effective marketing in one of my most AWESOME classes. Here it is in a nutshell: the BIGGEST CONSUMERS OF ADVERTISING ARE THE PEOPLE WHO'VE ALREADY MADE THE PURCHASE!!!

In other words, don't stop selling after you've made the sale. Remind people WHY they made the purchase and it will help convert them into evangelists for you.

Study after study has been done and they show that part of the reason is people are looking to emotionally justify their decisions. They want to know they did the right thing. So help them know it! Ask for referrals. Send follow-up e-mails. Keep telling them how great you are even after they've invested in you. It's an important part of the process that many forget.

Same principle is in play once you've bought a car. Suddenly you see them all over town...you notice all their commercials...you tell people about it. Your biggest fans are people who have already "bought" you. Don't stop communicating with them. Sometimes we assume they're tired of hearing from us. They're not.

To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

Read More

Race in Dating and Marriage

Someone recently posted on Be Worth Finding that they think pre-marital counseling should be mandatory in all cases. Many people agreed. This was in response to a post I made about how few topics couples discuss before walking down the aisle. I've been shocked to learn that ( I guess ) people are so drunk with love that they will avoid, leave out or just forget important details about their lives such as finances, plans for children and more!

One of the things people don't talk about enough is how will being of different races impact their families and relationship.

I got the following list of questions from a friend of mine who is in an interracial marriage. They were are part of her pre-marital counseling so she shared them with me to pass along. I thought they were outstanding!

Was this your first interracial relationship?

How did you feel about interracial marriage and relationships before you were in one?

What are some common misconceptions about interracial dating/marriage in 2012?

Did you face skeptics and criticism from your friends and/or family about the interracial relationship?

What about ___(Your Significant Others)___ family -- Did you or he face any criticism from them?

Do you have (or plan to) have children? How will race figure into child rearing for you?

Do you think___(Your Locale)___ in general is a good place for interracial couples and families?
Do you feel that there are societal criticisms and pressures concerning interracial relationships in___(Your Locale)___ ?

Do you have any suggestions for Black women considering or new to interracial relationships?

This isn't a post to complain about what people SHOULD or shouldn't do in relationships. People do what they want anyway and interracial relationships are very much on the rise. These are just some things to think about before you get into one!

Blessings!

Read More

The Principle of the Tree Rat...err...Squirrel.

The story goes that a man owned a huge pecan tree and loved his Italian Cream Cakes with pecan and cream cheese frosting that he could make from the pecans that grew on that tree. Being from Texarkana, I can relate! Very few things rival a good Italian Cream Cake or even a German Chocolate Cake! I choose them even over Red Velvet! Anyway, the problem the man was having is that he could barely get a decent frosting for his cakes from this huge tree with all its pecans because the squirrels would run and grab them all as soon as they ripened. Being that he loved his cakes, he was both heartbroken and angry.

He decided to do something about it finally.

He went down to Home Depot to get some of those metal barriers that are supposed to stop squirrels from being able to run up trees. The next day he saw the little critters hopping from tree to tree - still stealing all his pecans!!

Next, he went and cut back the branches from the trees with long limbs so the squirrels couldn't jump over to his pecan trees from other trees. The day after that he saw them walking across telephone wires like acrobats over to his tree!

Day after day he would try different methods and tools. Nothing worked. After Googling and buying nearly everything he could find on stopping squirrels, he was so frustrated that he screamed at the top of his lungs "WHY?! WHY!? WHY?! WILL I EVER GET ANOTHER ITALIAN CREAM CAKE????!!!" He yelled so loud that even his neighbor heard him without her hearing aid. She baked him a (nasty) red velvet cake and walked it over to him that weekend.

Finding him curled up in the corner crying, she handed him the pie and told him to relax and have a bite. "It's nearly impossible to overcome the Principle of the Squirrel" she said. "Don't feel bad."

"What's the Principle of the Squirrel?" he asked.

"It's very simple. You work, sleep, watch TV, think about cakes, play with your children, shower, exercise and do all kinds of things every single day. Then you think about stopping squirrels on the weekend. On the other hand, the squirrels are thinking about only one thing all day every day and every night - how to get your pecans!"

Now, personally, I don't like squirrels very much at all. I call them "tree rats" and I don't feel bad about it in the least. But there is something powerful to be learned here...complete focus takes the cake!

Read More