The 10% Factor

I heard a great message this past weekend and I want to pass a part of it along to my friends here in Live BIG! Die Empty. blog land. The speaker was telling me that studies have been done showing that, in baseball, a .273 hitter can double his salary if he can increase his batting percentage to .300. A 10% increase in effectiveness at his job can double his income! Further, another 10% increase could put that same player into stratospheric levels of income and virtually assure his place in the Hall of Fame! 10% is the difference between a guy you've never heard of and Babe Ruth!

I think the same thing is true in your life. You don't have to get a lot better to be a lot better off. You just have get a little better and be consistent with it. Stop stressing out thinking about how far away you are from being where you want to be. My challenge to you is this: How can you get just a little better at what you do? How about sitting down and writing out a few ideas in your journal? Could you make one extra phone call? Go 10% longer on the treadmill when working out? Could you give one extra hug to your significant other?

A small increase in your activity and have a big impact on your effectiveness! So how can you get a little better today?

Read More

The (False) Gospel of Singleness

I am kind of betwixt on all the talk about celibacy and abstinence among Christians. One the one hand, I get it. I really do. I know that the Bible teaches to flee sexual sin. That we must do. On the other hand, we're generally aiming the message at people who are in the most sexually-charged, hormone-flooded, biological clock ticking years of their lives.

When you add to the discussion that many of the same people will go on and on about "19 Reasons to Leave Him" and "The 7 Red Flags of a Relationship" it looks like we are simultaneously preaching the gospel of singleness and frustrating our very natures - to pair up and to procreate. How is it that all our "experts" have to say is "Girrrrrrl, stay single!" and at the same time "Girrrrrlllll, you betta not be having sex!" while pages on the calendar continue to turn.

Quite simply, it all seems askew to me. Shouldn't we shift the dialogue towards more of HOW to be in relationships? Hear what I'm saying. I am not arguing that everybody needs to find a No-Tell Motel and start screwing. I'm saying we probably need to SHORTEN the amount of time we stay single. Most of the best couples with the longest marriages are the ones who just met and pulled the trigger anyway. We're spending a lot of energy working against nature.

Bottom line: we spend too much time single. It's time to start encouraging people to marry again.

Read More

If Something Doesn't Die, You Haven't Made a Decision.

#LiveBIGDieEmpty - Some people are hindered simply because they haven't mastered the ability to make a decision. They try to exercise all options at the same time...or keep one on hold until they've exhausted the other. But that's not how life works. That's small living.

Big living requires you to decide which way you're going and what you're going to do. Then, once you've decided, do it with all your might! (Ecclesiastes 9:10) It's in the very structure of the word! "De" is from the Latin for "away" or "from" while "cis" means "to cut" or "to kill" so putting them together....

To make a DECISION means to cut something away, from or off! To kill it! That means, if something doesn't DIE, you haven't made a decision. As gruesome as it sounds, you have to kill something for the other thing to thrive. Trying to nourish every little business or relationship just a little bit...enough to keep it alive...only ensures that none of what you do will truly thrive!

Let me share something with my friends today. Not only in the spirit of "keeping it real" but in terms of trying to help someone who needs to hear this today. That's my Live Big Die Empty mission anyway...to help people who feel like they've been living beneath their purpose, potential and privilege for too long.

A friend commented recently, "Mark, you're a rock star!" meaning he believes I'm living a great life. I accept the compliment. Thank you, sir! I will agree that things are trending the way I want them to go. However, as my closer friends will tell you, I have a looonnnnnng way to go to get where I need to be. So I press.

But to the point of my post today. I tend to blog from experience and Godly counsel as best I can. That's the genesis of the blog post I wrote and posted last week regarding decision-making. I can testify that nothing began to turn around in my life until I sat down with my pastor, Thaddeus Eastland of Hope Church Pearland and received this one little nugget of wise counsel: make some decisions. I had been feeling despondent, broken and on the verge of tears because I was feeling beaten by life.

The truth is I was being beaten by life because I was allowing life to beat me.

You see, I'd been trying to live too much of my life on the fence subject to other peoples' whims, emotions and decisions. I wasn't drawing clear lines in my ministry, business or personal life and it was halting my progress in all of those areas. "Make some decisions." Those few words have meant so much to me. I remind myself of them whenever I feel like I've stalled in making progress still to this day.

My encouragement to someone who needs it is as follows: MAKE SOME DECISIONS!

As always, I want to hear from you!!! Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

Why Does Death Sting?

Death stings for the same reason that aging stings...we feel the loss of opportunity, the loss of hope, the ending of new chances. No matter where any of us are, we all hope for a new beginning starting from wherever we find ourselves...whenever we feel like we've lived less than our greatest potential. That's the power of death...it forces us to look in the mirror and examine our own lives. Many times it hurts because we don't like what we see.

I'm not trying to sound cold, but I don't know that I feel as much hurt from the loss of Whitney Houston as do others. Perhaps because she's a woman and I'm not(my female friends seem to hurt more), I never connected with her that much. Aside from a boyhood crush, I never paid a lot of attention to her life or music. I know I'm alone in that. But there is something that made me stop and think...looking at the pictures of Bobby Brown. I still remember Bobby Brown from "Every Little Step" and seeing him having aged...put on weight...and even ostracized from his family hit home with me.

Time is passing and we all have to make the most of every moment! That's the lesson to learn and that's why death stings - it reminds us of wasted opportunities. So stop wasting them! That which your hand finds to do, do with all your might! Starting right now! That's the best way to honor both the death and Your God who made you.

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

The Power Of Smiling

I'm pretty sure I don't smile enough. It's not cool, you know? It's not that much of a black "thing" either? As a black man, you probably get more accustomed to scowling than any other expression. I know I need to smile more, but then you catch yourself and realize that you're mean mugging again...like usual.

What expression is on your face right now? If you're not smiling, what if changing it would alter the entire course of your day? I caught this article called "The Untapped Power of Smiling" that reminded me of the right perspective. Smiling more can improve your health, help you earn more, improve your relationships and generally help you enjoy life more.

It's a shame I don't smile more. I probably feel self-conscious about my grill or either think I'll look soft. I'm making a commitment to do it and quit being a hypocrite. I tend to favor people who smile. Why not join them? In fact, let's do it together and see what happens as we start a new week!!!

Read More

How to Receive Turnaround in an Impossible Situation

I get letters and prayer requests from people every week who feel beaten and battered by life. They feel like they spend more time losing than winning and like their lives are stuck in some kind of downward spiral that they can't get out of. They feel stuck. Maybe that describes you today. Maybe you feel like you're going nowhere and not sure how to change that.

Maybe you feel like you're in a hole with no way to get out and no one around to offer a ladder so you can climb out? You think you're in an impossible situation. You think your vision will never come to pass...that your financial situation will never turn around...that your child will never get on the right path. You're on the verge of giving up hope.

If any of that describes you, I'm writing to you today. I want to share with you three keys to getting a turnaround in any impossible situation. If that's what you need today, keep reading!

I know I'm not about to reveal to you top secret, whiz bang mysteries. They are reminders. So often we spend our time worrying and dreading our fate instead of understanding that the battle is not over. For you, the battle isn't over even when it's over. You serve a God who can resurrect the dead! Remember that. I'm willing to bet He's rescued you from defeat before. Trust Him to do so again. He can turn around your situation!

Therefore, here are your action items if you're looking for a turnaround:

1. Realize that there are no impossible situations. You serve a God that specializes in the impossible! (Matthew 19:26)
2. Pray. Take it God in real, honest and specific terms. Don't just complain to Him. Ask Him to do something! (Philippians 4:6)
3. Understand that your victory is assured no matter what. Even things that appear to be "bad" in your eyes, are really good because the Lord has not finished his work in you nor in your life. (Romans 8:28)
4. Take positive action. Ask, seek and knock. Faith is not passive. Even while believing the Lord for miracles, you keep asking and keep seeking and keep knocking. You don't know which door He will open for you. (Matthew 7:7)
5. Only speak victory. What you say has the power to change the entire course of your life and the lives of those you influence. Take great care of what you say. (Proverbs 18:21)

It is so critical that you take control of your spirit, your mind, your attitudes and your words when you're facing immense challenges. You must not allow a place for casual conversation and nihilistic attitudes either in your circle or in your own thoughts. Once you get focused on possibilities and have lifted up your concerns to God, let them go and begin to look forward to your breakthrough! It's coming. And even if it doesn't come, it's coming!!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please remember to subscribe so you don't miss any of the exciting news, updates, events and tools that I'll be sharing soon! Blessings!

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Key #8 - What Are You Afraid Of?

I want you to hear me like never before as you read this blog, my last in this series. I have a question to ask you and I want you to really, really think about your answer.

What are you afraid of anyway?

What are you waiting on to get moving towards your dream and your vision? Are you waiting for permission? Well here it is! I hereby give you permission to step out on faith! I hereby give you permission to dare!! I hereby give you permission to overcome your fears!! Let's look at what Solomon had to say about fear and how you respond to it...

"The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion." ~Proverbs 28:1

"The lion which is mighty among beasts And does not retreat before any..." ~ Proverbs 30:30

Here's what the Word is telling you and I want you to get...YOU are the righteous and are supposed to be AS BOLD AS A LION and, furthermore, can you show me a challenge that makes a lion back down or retreat? NO YOU CAN'T!!! That's the bottom line. There is nothing that should ever make you turn away from pursuing your goal, your vision, your prey. NOTHING!!! (Wow. Why am I screaming so much today?)

I don't know if you're hearing me so let me say it again in a different way using Solomon's words.

"The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!” ~Proverbs 26:13

In other words, it's time to shake off your excuses. There is no lion outside ready to eat you just like there is no boogie man in the closet. If anything, your opponents should be afraid to see YOU coming! So here's what I want you to do...something that used to terrify you! Make it a habit to do something that makes you terrified every single day to move towards your goals. You won't even recognize yourself after a while of making facing your fears a new habit. What are you afraid of anyway? That's right. NOTHING!!!

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Key #7 - Open Your Mouth!!!

PLEASE CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN TO GET TODAY'S KEY!!!
(It's only 4 minutes long, but it will bless you!!!)

Now here's where you and I can partner. I'm opening my mouth! If you are looking for someone to change and empower your local business, civic or church group, contact me right away! My calendar for the Spring and Summer is getting packed but I want to make sure I'm where I'm SUPPOSED TO BE this year and don't want you to miss a message you're SUPPOSED TO RECEIVE from me!!

Contact me here ---> MAGIC LINK!!!

I work with a few people individually, as well. Here's the LIVE BIG! DIE EMPTY. link to my coaching services!

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Key #6 - Get Expert Help!

I had a dream last night worth sharing because I think it will be something every person will want to consider, pray about and seek out in their own lives.

In my dream I was working on putting together a saxophone. I don't know why. I don't play the saxophone! For some reason, I wanted it. I worked every day on this thing. I was using a spare bedroom in my neighbor's house as my workshop. I would leave it over there and go home in the evenings - then come back and work on it the next day.

One day, I quit early because it was driving me crazy.

Anyway... the next morning I woke up and went over to work on building my saxophone. Louis Armstrong was sitting there doing it for me!! Yes. That Louis Armstrong. We talked while he worked. It only took a few minutes as he slung everything together and then showed me how to play a few notes. He was amazing. He took so much stress off my back and brought a smile to my face. A big cheese-eating one!

This dream reminded me of the power of EXPERT help! And that's my prayer for myself and for you today! That we would begin to seek out expert help in every area that's difficult for us and where we're struggling to make the progress we want to make. Some things don't have to take as long as they're taking us. We just need a little help from the right people.

Amen?

Looking for someone to change and empower your local business, civic or church group? Contact me right away! My calendar for the Spring and Summer is getting packed but I want to make sure I'm where I'm SUPPOSED TO BE this year and don't want you to miss a message you're SUPPOSED TO RECEIVE from me!!

Contact me here ---> MAGIC LINK!!! I work with a few people individually, as well. Here's the SUPER DUPER LIVE BIG! DIE EMPTY. link to my coaching services!

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose - Key #5: Seek Favor

Seek favor. Favor can take you in five minutes where hard work alone will take you in five years. Here are five ways to cultivate favor in your life:

1. Ask God for open doors and for an eye for opportunity. You can't see what's right around the bend, but He can. Ask Him to show you things you haven't seen. Ask Him for favor. There's no shame in doing so. They always say "favor isn't fair" and I believe it! Life can be challenging enough. You need every "unfair" advantage you can get! Before you seek favor with men, seek His favor. It means so much more.

2. Share your vision with enthusiasm and boldness. There are people waiting to help you if only they knew what direction you are going. Change the atmosphere around you when you begin to talk. People will rally behind you, go before you and surround you with support. Give them the chance. Even those who can't help you will pray for you. Will you arouse some rivals? Of course! But nothing good grows in the dark. Shout it loud!

3. Seek guidance and ask for help. Learn how to admit you need help and ask for it. If the person you know can't help you, ask if they know someone who can. There's also a saying that goes "Ask for money and you'll get advice, but ask for advice and you'll get money." Ask for help. If you need money, it will come. Never let a lack of money stall you.

4. Be receptive to people who offer you advice and feedback. Become a person who is gracious in receiving feedback from people. Don't be so gruff and don't take it so harshly. Most people want you to do better even if they communicate it poorly at times. Don't make people regret saying things to you because they'll stop trying to help. Nothing would be worse than that.

5. Communicate the progress and changes that you make to those around you. When you get good advice from wise people, show them and tell them that you've listened. Report back to them. Let them know their words weren't wasted on you. When people see you doing your best, they are always moved to help even more. That's favor!

Seek favor. Favor can take you in five minutes where hard work alone will take you in five years. Achieving higher performance isn't always about working harder. Sometimes you'll need advantages the labor alone can't bring you!

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

I Bet Boaz Had a Beer Belly

"He needs to be light-skinned or bi-racial so my daughters can have good hair."

"He needs to be tall so I can wear high heels all the time. At least 6'2"."

"He needs to be a professional athlete because they make a lot of money and I don't want to work."

"I refuse to sign a pre-nup. If things go bad, I want half. I'll work if he wants me to, but not at a job that makes a lot of money."

"I'm going to live in New York. So he's got to be fine with that."

How do you measure a good man? These are quotes from a 14-year old I know that is currently receiving some RE-EDUCATION about what a good man looks like from yours truly! But it's not like I don't hear these words almost every day. I didn't want to hear them from her, but I wasn't surprised!

I mean... everybody talks about wanting Boaz, but what do you think Boaz looked like? I bet he had a little bit of a gut. Dude was middle-aged wasn't he? The chances of him looking like [insert your favorite eye candy here - I ain't going there!] are very slim!

Let's go down YOUR LIST of requirements in a man, Miss Single Christian Woman!

* Attractive and at least 6'1" without shoes so I can wear my heels
* Weighs between 195 and 225 lbs and a low BMI
* White teeth or willing to invest in a procedure within two weeks
* Credit score of 730 or better
* Earns at $85,000 annually plus bonuses
* Has been on his job for more than five years
* Speaks in a holy tongue...none of those unholy ones
* He can drink a little as long as it's no more than 6 ounces of a beverage with less than 6% ABV per month
* He must be a Fred Hammond fan. Donnie McClurkin, too!
* He must not listen to any secular music made after 1985
* Must drive a luxury sports sedan - foreign preferred but not required
* Must not ask me to relocate, change churches, or change my side of the bed
* Must like my hair the way it is because "I don't change for no man"
* Must have an undergraduate degree from an accredited college and at least 12 hours in post-graduate work with a 3.25 GPA. Transcripts required
* Can be a member of Facebook, but must not have more than 45% of Friends be female or he is a dog. Otherwise, all social networking accounts must be deleted upon third date...if accounts remain active, all Profile Pics must include both of us.
* My Pastor is the best Pastor, so you must submit to him or you are not of God

Now...how many of these would appear on God's list of a "good man" for you? I can tell you this...I'm concerned most that my daughter marries a man who loves her, respects her and works hard to provide for and protect his family. I want him to be a man who serves God and likes Longhorn football. That's about it!

What requirements are you putting on your Boaz? Are they Godly? Are you sure?

If you can find a man who loves you and who is willing to commit to you, I suggest you look past things that are easily fixable or forgotten.

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Key #4 (The Least Appreciated Key)

I call this the master key within the entire series!

There is NO SUBSTITUTE FOR DILIGENCE!!! Read what Solomon, the wisest man who's ever lived, had to say about diligence. It's an interesting word. Some people think "diligence" is discipline, but it isn't. Discipline is good, but nothing unlocks your potential like DILIGENCE.

Some people think hard work is diligence. It isn't. Hard work is good, but only begins to scratch the surface.

What is diligence then? Diligence is all of those concepts and more. Embedded in the word is the thought of rising early in the morning and DOING WHATEVER it takes to accomplish your goal. It's like mining for gold...or mining for your goal.

A successful miner digs and digs and digs. He invests in better tools so he can dig more efficiently. He rises early in the morning and stays late. He knows the gold will be taken by others if he isn't in the field. He stays late after others have gone home because there's a nugget they're going to miss...but he isn't going to miss it!

It reminds of when I was young and my folks would take us out to the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas.

You would work all day in the hopes of finding something precious. When you did, everything felt worth it! Many people have found great treasures out there in those fields, but only the ones who worked for it.

(The diamond pictured about was found at Crater of Diamonds. Not by me, but still...)

I didn't realize I was learning a word-picture for this concept even as a child, but I'm glad I did. Now, whenever I'm lagging in my effort, I think about mining. I think about digging and digging for hidden treasure. Because that's diligence. And Solomon says it's the key to riches, wealth and a life that's truly prosperous!

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More

8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose: Key #3 - Change Your Associations

In the introduction to this series, I talked about getting intimate with your own special purpose. I believe that each of us was put here with a unique calling and a special mission. It may not always be grand, but it's yours. Key #1 discussed being UNIQUELY YOU!!!

Key #2 was about changing your attitudes, actions and approaches to get different results in life.

Today is one of my favorite topics.

If you want to achieve higher performance, you have to change your associations! Positive peer pressure is one of the best forces you can put to work for yourself. Again. This is another one that I know well. If you want to have a better marriage, being around people with healthy marriages will help. If you want to earn more money, it's critical to spend time with people who are good stewards of their money and who earn more than you do. It is said that your income will grow to average that of the five people with whom you spend the most time. I believe it! If you want to live healthier and lose weight, look at the people around you. What are their habits?

Here are four specific ways to change your peer group.

1. Get a coach or join a mastermind group. It's always great to have someone or a group to bounce your ideas off of. I've found it invaluable to just be able to hear myself talk out loud about my hopes, dreams and plans. I've got one coming up. Get in touch with me. I might be able to help. Many people fail to progress because all of their ideas live only in their own heads. Never shared. Never refined. Never acted upon. It's a shame.

2. Attend conferences and networking events. For some people, this might include changing the church you attend. It's vital to be around people who are going the way you want to go. This isn't about being an elitist. They don't have to already be "there" to influence you positively. However, they need to be on the same road!! Attending professional events and getting around successful people adds a unique energy to you. Iron truly sharpens iron!

3. Change your social media "friends" and upgrade. Do all the people you interact with online look and sound like you? Do they all act like you? If so, you are missing a chance to be sharpened and learn more about the world. Observe how the people you admire "behave" online. What do they talk about? How do they spend their time?

4. Read the biographies of great people. One of my favorite things to read and listen to are biographies. Most of the people you and I consider to be successful (in any field) spent years and years of back-breaking labor to get where they are today. Biographies tell their stories in ways that are easier to relate to. My passion for biographies was re-ignited by my pastor, Thaddeus Eastland. He's talked before about how he used them as life guides and mentors when his father wasn't around to be that for him. In other words, people don't even have to be there with you to influence you positively.

What are some other ways to improve your peer group and environment?

In case you're interested in being able to quickly navigate the entire series, here are the links!

Series Introduction
Key 1: Be Who You Are!
Key 2: Same Approaches = Same Results
Key 3: Change Your Associations
Key 4: The Least Appreciated Key
Key 5: Seek Favor
Key 6: Get Expert Help
Key 7: Open Your Mouth
Key 8: What Are You Afraid Of?

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

Read More