April 2012 ~ Live BIG! Die Empty.

4/30/12

Undiluted.

7:30 PM No comments

I took my youngest to breakfast as part of her Daddy-Daughter Day Birthday Celebration. It just so happens that the Busy Bee Cafe is near some railroad tracks and proud of it, apparently. There was quite a bit of railroad decor around the place.

Taylor: "Daddy, what is derail?"

Me: "Huh?"

Taylor: "That sign on the wall says "derail" and I don't know what that means!"

Me: "That's just when a train goes off-track. You know. Like they were trying to stop from happening in that Denzel movie?"

Taylor: "Why does that matter?"

Me: "It matters a whole lot when the train is carrying certain chemicals. Do you see what those tankers say? They say "Hydrochloric Acid" on the side. On the lower right. Do you see?"

Taylor: "What's that?"

Me: "Well, they're probably tankers full of undiluted acid. Very dangerous stuff if not properly contained. I imagine a tank of hydrochloric acid spilling can be a major problem around here. That stuff can burn human flesh. Nobody wants that. Undiluted, that stuff can clean metal and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure it's mostly for industrial uses. You know? In factories and stuff."

Taylor: "Why even put it on trains at all?"

Me: "That's another story. I'm sure it's cheaper than transporting it in other ways."

Taylor: "Hmmmm.... I hope they're careful with that stuff! Sounds dangerous!"

This short conversation this past weekend made me think about how people can be their absolute most effective in life. (So many things impact me this way!)

Here's my simple thought: Are you giving us the real you everyday? Undiluted? Or are you watering yourself down before you start your day? Like an acid, the undiluted you is powerful - able to penetrate almost any obstacle. The "diluted" you is nothing more than an irritant. It makes peoples' eyes burn a little, but doesn't make any lasting impact or real change.

Think about it. Don't dilute yourself any longer. When you aren't being fully you, you're just irritating.

I would be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

It's Time to Reveal What's Inside You.

9:31 PM 1 comment

This is my rally cry for this week! I'm so happy for faithful teachers, mentors and preachers. The Lord seems to be working overtime lately to encourage and empower me. I'm humbled. I could cry. It's like He won't be satisfied with me living a life that's anything less than my potential. I've been taught, stretched, challenged, pressed, encouraged and pushed to my very limits these past few weeks to the point where I want to scream sometimes.

But I can see how He's already beginning to work it out for my good. Now my cry has changed. "Stretch me, Lord!" I can see how He's forcing me to change - to emerge - to show the world the real Mark Anthony McCray It's exhausting! However, once I've come forth I'll see the "me" I was always intended to be. I'm looking forward to showing you that man.

If you know me, you know this blog is about YOU. It's time for you to emerge! It's time for you to take some chances. Like I posted on my Facebook Page earlier today: Ships weren't made for the harbor. You'll never realize your purpose, best performance, potential and prosperity until you launch out!

You are the salve for someone's wound. Not only that. Your emergence is your blessing. Your emergence is the blessing to those who are counting on you. Show us what's inside you. We need you. We really do.

I would also be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

Use This Little-Used Method to Increase Your Business Dramatically!

3:41 PM No comments

Want to increase your business for little to no out-of-pocket cost to you?

Drum roll, please...

Talk to people. People still do business with people, and your business is still based mostly on trust.

When I get on the phone and when I take meetings, I make money. When I try to run my business from my laptop, I don't make as much money. This means that I need to answer my phone, make meetings and return correspondence quickly. So do you. Plain and simple. When I am not talking to people, I am getting losing ground financially.

Even if you're HORRIBLE at closing sales, you can stack the odds in your favor by making more contacts. If I am talking to people, I'm getting richer. It's usually not more complicated than that.

Please SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html

Jim Rohn: "How to Have Your Best Year Ever"

10:47 AM 1 comment

I always did like this video and this particular teacher! He's a model for how I'm building my own business. He spoke, he wrote and he always incorporated Biblical wisdom in ways that everyone could receive. Great role model in many ways. I hope you enjoy this.

Then, if you liked it, check out my blog series entitled "8 Keys to Achieving Higher Performance in Your Purpose" and let me know what you think!

I would also be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

5 Things I've Never Done (But Want to This Year)!

12:13 PM 3 comments

I'm planning on skydiving for my birthday this year and I want you to come with me!! If you're in the Houston area, get in touch with me!!! mark@livebigdieempty.com is the best way!

1. Skydive. How can I resist? This has to happen!! They don't let you do your first jump alone. They strap you in with an Instructor. I'll be looking for the one with the biggest smile and best mood!

2. Perform a Stand-Up Comedy Routine. Just because. No time limit on it. Just something I want to do! I don't care if I bomb. That's part of the process!

3. Ride a Horse. I really can't believe I've not done this being from Texarkana. I have no clue how this hasn't happened. I don't feel like a 100% Texan and I need to fix that.

4. Milk a Cow. Just like riding a horse. I can't believe I haven't done it either!

5. Climb a Mountain. This is one of those things I want to do with a partner or two. No fun going alone. I'm looking forward to having my whole body ache from pushing myself past the limit.

What are some things on your Life List??? Tell me what you want to do!!

I would also be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

Did God Get it Wrong? Or Is He Just Old-Fashioned?

5:22 AM No comments

Here's something I struggle with. I hope I can explain it well.

1. Is our world/society better off or worst off than it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago in terms of morals, strength of the society, economy and even the church? Most people would say many things have gone downhill. So why would we continue to rely upon modern "wisdom" that seems to be taking downward instead of older ways of looking at life, faith and the world that served us better?

2. I see the "I don't need anybody but Jesus" as being a uniquely modern phenomenon and, therefore, probably symptomatic of our societal degradation if not causal. In other words, if a person's best friend had said "Man, you need to get a wife." or "Girl, you need to marry a good man." in Earth Year 83, he would have agreed. If they had the conversation in Year 383, they would have agreed. If they had the conversation in Year 1883, they would have agreed. It's not until around 1983 or so that people stopped feeling like they needed a partner.

3. It's sad to me, truly sad, that nowadays people seem more committed than ever to trying to live out this short existence alone and I don't get it. Most of you can look at your own life and see it isn't working. I read your posts almost everyday. You're lonely, bored, sexually-frustrated, living below your potential financially and struggling to find or excel in a purpose beyond yourself. Yet you reject some of the very structures the Lord Himself designed to help people find joy and favor in life.

And it seems to be Christians are going right along with all of this. I think it's crazy. It literally boggles my mind. Marriage was God's idea. Now we seem to be hell-bent on telling Him He wasn't that bright.

I would be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

Isn't it time to change your mind?

10:19 PM No comments

We're told that we have to change the way we think to change our lives. Well, if true, what should we think about and how do we change our thoughts? I've created this special study called "Change Your Mind" to help you think in ways that are more productive and purposeful using various scriptures from God's word as your guide.

Have you ever stopped to think that everything around you – even everything in your own life – first began with a thought? It began either as a thought in the mind of God or a thought in your own mind. What awesome power lies in our minds! Few of us ever stop to consider the power of our own thoughts and attitudes, but the Bible proclaims that we are the content of our thoughts!

“…For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” ~Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

It has been said that the only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is how they think. After all, everyone has the same number of hours in the day, right? It’s how we use them that makes the most difference and our actions come from our thoughts. As Believers, we even all serve the same God leading Dr. Charles Stanley to say “we will largely become what we think about.”

I want you to purchase this study and learn how to elevate your level of thinking about your present situation, your challenges and your future! ORDER LINK

Here's some feedback from one of the first to download this program!

"It was great. I always try to practice right thinking but "productive thinking" took it to another level for me. It really is about our mental diet. I realized that my thinking was not only repetitive, but unproductive. There were no new patterns of thought as you said. What I was thinking a particular day was the exact same thing I was thinking the day before and the day before that and so forth. So I was able to take the scriptures that you went over and created daily affirmations from them. Now I recognize the thought, but don't get stuck in it. I was blessed." ~KP

Inside the study, I discuss proper thinking about yourself, your God, your circumstances and your future in practical and encouraging ways. You need this!!

For example...I show you how...

1. God will often show you more for your future well before you possess your future.
2. The future that God has for you is going to be abundant.
3. The future that God has for you is going to be intimidating.
4. You are able to take possession of the future God has for you!

Now...the next thing I want you to do is invest a little under $5 in changing your mind so you can begin to change your path!

I would also be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

"Six Ways to Defeat Worry"

5:18 PM 1 comment

If you missed my lastest motivational call, you missed a great time!!! I talked about "Six Ways to Defeat Worry" in your life. Worry is one of the biggest reasons most people aren't living their best life. Here are some things to remember!

1. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE. Free yourself to think strategically instead of concerning yourself with today or tomorrow like so many people do. They are already taken care of for you. (Luke 12:22)

2. KNOW THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Realize that there are no impossible situations or insurmountable obstacles. Even the impossible isn't impossible. Start thinking about possibilities and opportunities in your situation. (Matthew 19:26)

3. TAKE A BREAK FROM COMPLAINING. Take a break from complaints and criticisms. Instead of bemoaning what you lack, just ask God and men for what you want and need and see what happens! (Philippians 4:6)

4. THE VICTORY IS WON! Know that victory is already assured. Everything, in fact, ALL THINGS are ALREADY working for your GOOD (not for your harm)! (Romans 8:28)

5. ONLY SPEAK LIFE. If you don't want to see it manifested, don't let it come out of your mouth. There are too many examples of the power of your words to even mention. Just mind your words! (Proverbs 18:21)

6. TAKE ACTION. Take positive action. One of the best ways to change the direction of your life is to form a habit of decreasing the time you spend between thought and action. You've got to get up and do something different to have something different. (Matthew 7:7)

The bottom line is worry can steal your greatest moments from you and prevent you from living your best life, but only if you allow it! Fight back in faith! And don't just live, LIVE BIG!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

Learn How to Hear Silence

4:44 PM No comments

Most of the clients who put up an abnormally high amount of resistance to giving you information, providing financial records, paying for third party reports, signing your fee agreement, or otherwise putting money into their business deal should be passed over.

They probably know something about their situation – to their detriment – that they are not communicating. Whatever is causing them pause will probably kill their deal or make it extremely difficult to get done in the end.

I try to NEVER invest more into solving another person's problem than they're willing to invest themselves. A person who really wants your help with be a blabbermouth - telling you everything you want to know about their challenges and things you don't want to know.

Real pain speaks! If your prospect doesn't have enough pain to really, truly tell you where it hurts, it doesn't hurt bad enough. If they don't care, you shouldn't either. Silence tells me a lot!

Please SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! To your success!

All Money Isn't Good Money...Not All Clients Are Good Clients.

4:01 PM No comments

All of us, no matter the field of business, have experienced the regret of taking on business that doesn't seem worth it. It's frustrating, maddening, infuriating and head-scratching all rolled together. Here's what I've learned: never do business with anyone who makes your head hurt or your stomach hurt. If you have qualms, steer clear. It will be worth it because all money isn't good money and not every Client is a good Client.

There are a number of rationalizations we construct in our minds when we're sitting across from a Prospect with whom we suspect we shouldn't be doing business. Perhaps all of them boil down to doubting ourselves and our ability to bring in new business. At some level we figure the future isn't promised and we should take what's presented - no matter the risk of heartache and aggravation in the future.

Sometimes it's our own pride and arrogance that gets us. We believe, i.e., choose to convince ourselves, that our savvy can rescue a situation that isn't salvageable or redeem a Client who is irredeemable. We've walked into the lion's den without being eaten before, so why not again? Right?

What is the remedy? We have to be emotionally disciplined and courageous enough to say "no" when our gut is telling us to say "no" and it's as simple as that. There's no formula. There are no steps. We trust ourselves and, if you're a Believer, trust the Lord enough to back away and allow the good business to come to us.

As the Bible reminds us in Proverbs 10:22, the Lord's blessings don't come with sorrow. If you see trouble coming, be wise enough to walk away.

To your success!

Double Hump It!

6:32 AM No comments

I've talked before about the importance of deciding who belongs in your life and who doesn't. I'm not the first. Solomon said "He who walks with wise men will be wise..." long before anyone every thought about Mark Anthony McCray. There's more to the story, however. Here's a visual tool to help you think about how you go about your relationships - personal and work relationships.

It's called the Double Hump and I learned it years ago.

The concept is very, very simple. Everyone who enters your life or workspace or ministry should either be there a LONG TIME or a SHORT TIME with nobody in the middle. Your goal should be to allow people into your life fairly freely. No walls. Be open. However, you've got a set of values and you need to stick to them. If you discover someone's values are incompatible with your own, they need to go! On the other hand, when you find people who share your same values, whether in ministry or work or personal relationships, these are the people you should endeavor to keep in your life. They are to be treasured!

The middle is the danger zone. That's where your energy drained, your time is wasted and where the other person is being kept away from their best and blessed place in life, too. You're holding on where you should not be. You know they need to go, but you're afraid to let them. Bottom line. Be courageous to let them go. Nobody in the middle. Double hump it!

Please SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

Mastermind Meetings and One-on-One ResultsCoaching

5:59 AM No comments

I have a question for you: How much would you pay me to work for you or teach you?

Seriously. If you could hire me to teach you, coach you and train you - how much would you be willing to pay for it? Would changing the direction of your life for the better be worth skipping a few cups of coffee a month? If you could learn new exercises, techniques and strategies for planning your life, building a business, increasing your income and understanding your purpose, would it be worth the price of a meal? I've created a 10 Point Program designed to give you clarity, hope, methods and RESULTS and I'm ready to share it with you!

FIRST, some feedback from one person with whom I've worked...

"Thank you for your help! Talking with you was a great help. I felt like I was at a place where I was no longer able to maximize my potential and need to surround myself with people who are accomplishing great things and who have the capacity and desire to accomplish great things. I have accomplished quite a bit based on the knowledge I gleaned from you. At this point in my life, I am ready to expand my vision and expand my tents and I need the counsel of others to accomplish all that God has in me to do."

Here's another one...

"Some good words for a good man...From the get go Mark became a very inspirational figure for me. Not only did he motivate me to work harder for my goals, but he helped me get one step closer to them. When I needed help and guidance he has been there for me. I know that I can count on him for help, great advice, leadership, or even just an ear. :-) Thanks again!"

The stories continue. I have given a number of people counsel that transformed their lives, but then realized that it would be much better if I put together Mastermind-Accountability-Power Groups to help even more people. I now have so many projects that I'm usually not available to be hired to teach, coach and mentor people one-on-one.

HERE'S THE POINT...

Very rarely, I create a small "Inner Circle" or high-end coaching program, and these normally range from a few hundred to a few thousand per year in tuition (and again, this is for GROUP training and coaching).

And honestly, because I've invested the last several years of my life creating the VERY BEST training programs for all key areas of success with life, business and money - it's actually BETTER to go through one of my highly-organized training programs with a group to benefit from everyone's feedback.

Right now, I'm opening up a new group for a purpose, money, wealth and business training program that I'm going to be teaching over a few weeks. Included in this package of training are some of my very best online business and life-mapping education programs. I just did a little bit of quick math and realized that when you register for this program, you're paying about $9.99 an hour for the incredible training you're getting.

Under ten bucks an hour. Really less than that. And I PREPARE for each of the segments that I facilitate in this training - so it's very conscious, very focused and very effective.

Now, the reality is that I've probably invested at least a thousand hours reading, attending live seminars, learning from mentors, coaching others, testing and implementing the techniques you're going to learn in this program to succeed in life and business...

So it's more like hiring me for pennies an hour to do the research, then asking me to summarize it all for you in easy-to-understand and easy-to-use formats - so you can succeed faster than I did (which many people who have used my trainings have done).

As you can see, I'm trying to give you another perspective on how to think about this important investment in your education and your future success. If you don't educate yourself about life, business, money and wealth, I can guarantee you success won't happen by happenstance.

This program is only open for registration for a few days. I really want you to see the incredible value that you're going to get when you participate in these trainings with me - so I'm offering a no-commitment guarantee. You cancel the program at any time if you don't like it, all you have to do is send me an email and let me know that you gave it a shot, but it's just not right for you. The only thing you've got to lose is your fear, uncertainty and weakness about life, business and money...

Join me today! I hope to see you in the program!

Mark Anthony

P.S. Think about what I said about the $9.99 an hour. This is a real opportunity for you to get trained by me for a bargain.

Please take a few moments to check out my "Live Big. Die Empty." Forum and Blog! "Live Big. Die Empty" contains some of the techniques that I used to start taking my life in a better direction - to start living bigger so that I could bring to fruition everything God placed in me.

You can begin to “Live Big and Die Empty”, too! Start by "Liking" this page http://www.facebook.com/LiveBigDieEmpty and then order my book and you're on your way!

One-Time Vision and Goals Coaching

Have Mark Anthony McCray listen to you and get you on track to success with an Introductory Call! This is a private call - just me and you -for up to one hour. Only $49.00 for the first hour!

Mastermind Group Coaching

I host Mastermind Groups for those interested in on-going work on their vision and goals over the course of a ten month program. Read more about how mastermind groups can work for you here: More About Masterminds! My mastermind telegroups meet virtually on the phone for two hours a month. I've got programs available for people who want to meet with my local group, as well!

Private Vision and Goals Consultation

I do private consultations for Clients who want the impact of my mastermind groups but with privacy. We meet virtually by phone or face-to-face for two hours per month privately. We discuss your dreams and goals and work together on a plan to move you towards higher levels of achievement. My private clients are also welcome to participate in the mastermind calls if they choose.

Just choose the package that's right for you!

Whether you want to work with me privately or in a group setting, you'll benefit from a 10-Session Program focusing on the following:

1 - Getting to Know the REAL YOU
2 - Clarity in Your Purpose and Passions
3 - Vision and Goal-setting
4 - Developing Plans of Action
5 - Tools to Help You Stay Motivated and Focused
6 - Accountability
7 - Identifying and Connecting to People and Resources

...and much, much more!

All of the most successful people have coaches. Maybe it's time for you to join their ranks?

Please Please take a few moments to SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Also, please visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

Sex & The Saved Couple

5:24 AM No comments

Have you ever noticed how you can see sex on TV morning, Noon and night these days, but it's ALMOST NEVER BETWEEN MARRIED PEOPLE???

The saints need to stop being so scary to talk about stuff! This is hilarious to me because (1) I've never advocated sex outside of the marriage context on this page and (2) half of y'all are doing this stuff and more already anyway!

Why have we let something God designed become totally taken over by the devil? Husbands need to be more caring and affectionate and wives need to be more adventurous... at least that's what I hear ALL THE TIME so there must be some truth to it.

I'm just trying to free some people from guilt and from having other peoples' morals projected onto them. The BIBLE is silent in so many ways. We have to let the Holy Spirit in us speak sometimes. There is a lot of latitude for people to make their own decisions about what's permissible between them as a husband and a wife. They should both be happy about those choices.

The most important thing is to talk before marriage so that there is no mismatch in expectations.

When you start to feel like they could have real, honest long-term "the one" potential you've got to risk these kinds of conversations. It could go horribly. I understand. However, you've got to know where each other stands and sooner is better than later. These conversations are MUCH HARDER after marriage because now you both feel trapped. Gotta do it when you start to feel like he or she could be the Mr. or Mrs.

One Warning: Drawing a lot of lines and restrictions is one of the WORST things a married woman can do, in my view, and YES, I mean that will everything in me! Most husbands aren't going to see a "no" as anything except a rejection/a boundary and THE LAST THING a husband wants are boundaries. They are interpreted as disrespect. They are seen as a lack of availability to him. A husband wants to feel like HE OWNS that wife. Bottom line. Therefore, I think wives should be very, very careful and quite judicious with drawing boundary lines and if it's going to be an issue YOU OWE HIM to make those lines clear BEFORE HE EVEN PROPOSES TO YOU!

Please SUBSCRIBE (using the form to the right on this blog!) and also leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

Anger Danger!

12:58 PM 2 comments

I used to be a very angry person. I may not have looked like it on the outside but my heart was filled with blames, resentments and a low, simmering anger for many years. Frankly, not all was directed at others. Some was directed at myself. I refused to let people off the hook for wrongs I perceived as being done to me.

Anger had made me into its victim and forced me to see other people as villains. I learned to let it go once I realized that EVERYONE is guilty and all need grace...even me. Watch this video to see how I explain this! ---> VIDEO

Today, I've got something to say SPECIFICALLY to my friends - particularly men. Contrary to what the movies and rap songs tell you, harboring anger IS NOT helping to propel you forward in life. There is no (long-term) benefit to having an "I'll get them back for what they've done to me!!" kind of attitude. As you're thinking that, you're destroying other parts of your life and after you "get them back" you're left with little purpose and no drive except to find another villain.

Please learn how to forgive and forgive QUICKLY upon exiting a dead situation. Harbor no anger. Give the enemy no place. The #1 thing I see in men (of all ages) that prevents us from moving forward in healthy relationships, business and entrepreneurship and good health is ANGER. Whether a low simmer or a boiling tempest, it doesn't matter. You've got to let it go.

Here's where anger hurts men more than women...

Our brains can't function as well with it meaning it will hurt your performance in every other area of your life. Period. Males literally have fewer synapses connecting both hemispheres of the brain - the logical side and the emotional side. That means women CAN LITERALLY handle emotions and tasks better at the same time without conflict. (This is why there are fewer female serial killers, some have argued. A man can snap and it's "over" for him and everyone around him. Most women can "snap" and still reason her way into hurting only the object of her anger.)

Bottom line is men are being stagnated by anger in ways that are harming themselves and our churches and communities and the women in our lives. Anger prevents you from being able to move forward into God's best for you. Time to look at your heart, be honest and let it go, brothers.

How can we overcome anger? Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon!

To your success!

Eternal Singleness? - Part One in Our "Resurrecting Marriage" Series

8:10 PM No comments

(This is the first in a series of works - a mission - to promote courtship, marriage and re-marriage within the Body of Christ. We have to fight this "Epidemic of Singleness" before the casualties continue to mount!

Therefore, please don't be offended with some of the next topics. I am going to take more chances by getting into sex, adultery, blending families, roles, finances, and more. Why? Because too many people are avoiding getting married for the wrong reasons and too many people are leaving marriages for even worse reasons!!)

Now from Guest Blogger, DAWN BEDINGFIELD, a woman of great wisdom...

Soon after I divorced, I met a great guy. We are still friends today. I had two young children, and their father was a great man, we were just not great together through no real fault of either one of us.

This man I was dating saw very soon into the relationship (we were never intimate) that I was great marriage material, but was probably not headed in the direction he was going: marriage. He approached me with his concern letting me know that he only dates in pursuit of marriage. I was just as forthright. I had just gotten out of a (what I considered long...only seven yrs) exhausting marriage and was not ready to go there again. Looking back I don't know whether this great guy would have been a great husband for me; but, I know for certain that over the span of 10 yrs, rejecting four marriage proposals, and delaying at least two more to the point of men giving up on me altogether, has been the biggest decision making mistake I have made. And it has affected every area of my life in a way I never would have desired.

Why you may ask? Because it is so much easier to get back into the flow of compromise and submission sooner after divorce than later, younger than older. When you still feel you need a mate, rather than when you have overcome so many things, good, bad, beautiful and ugly, that you know you can handle it without one.

Why you may ask? Because as the scripture you refer to in Timothy states, my dating choices and experiences went from good to bad to abominable in a span of months! My friendship and social choices became shameful. My financial world came tumbling to the ground around me in less than two years. My spiritual life defined in one phrase, "Believer behaving badly."

Why you may ask? Because an intelligent, bright, attractive woman in her late twenties who had been married all of her adult life needs to remain covered, especially when she has young children. She needs positive and clear direction of her energies and ambitions otherwise they not only get misguided, but taken advantage of. Before I looked up and gotten my head together, 10 yrs had passed, I had TWO children outside of wedlock with TWO DIFFERENT men, I'd lost a home, been homeless twice, gone through another dozen relationships, one suicide attempt, fought to keep my family together even though I eventually ended up sending the two oldest to live with my former husband...need I go on???

And as time passed, I [insanely, based on society's mantra, "I can do bad all by myself"] saw less and less need for a mate; and NO ONE encouraged me to surrender to marriage except my best friend at the time (who had betrayed me so many times and seemed so desperate for a husband I didn't trust), and ONE man I'd dated, who called me outright selfish. He was a doctor and much older, and I surely didnt see myself worthy enough for this prominent man to give my children and I the life he had. It was too late for that. I was too broken by that time and not yet re-fashioned by God, in spite of, by this time, all that I had come through, learned and achieved; but, I was getting there and this friend was the catalyst to get the ball rolling.

Today I am certainly great marriage material and have an endless list of things to bring to a relationship including knowledge and wisdom and experience and creativity. But unfortunately at this point in my life, after raising one son and daughter into adulthood, a host of personal and professional experiences that make me both wise and accomplished beyond my years (and those of most potential mates), and a busy lifestyle that leaves little to no time for social activities where I can meet potential mates, I fear that the past choices Ive made have brought me to the one sacrifice that I'd never intended: eternal singleness.

(In the next part, we'll share some of the negative impacts of singleness and divorce in our society. You DEFINITELY need to read this if you're even considering divorce!)

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

You Can't Handle the Truth!!!

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A friend of mine asked whether men and women can accept the truth from a partner without becoming upset, offended or lashing out. For me, it's more about Proverbs 15:1 and Proverbs 25:11.

Sometimes it's all about finesse: the skillful handling of a situation (Webster's Dictionary). There is an art to communication and when it's done well, it's a beautiful thing.

There's always a way to say anything. Sometimes people aren't rejecting the truth as much as your presentation of it. That may be fine if you're Isaiah the Prophet. However, if this is someone you plan on coming home to, you're going to have to learn how to communicate "truth" with much more care and finesse.

Also, always remember this: just because you want to say it, doesn't mean they need to hear it. Never lie or cover up, but be careful of your motives. Make sure your words are grace-filled and building up your brother and your sister...even (and especially) when you've been asked for the truth!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. Talk to you soon! Please subscribe and visit me on my Live BIG! Die Empty. Facebook page!!

THINKING ABOUT SELF-PUBLISHING?

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Information from book publisher, Ken Whitman of SideKickPrinting.com, for those interested in some rough numbers on the self-publishing business. I get these questions quite often regarding what people should expect.

From Ken Whitman:

"I produce a lot of books for self-publishers. There seem to be three types.

Type 1: I print 100 books for them and they never come back.
Type 2: I print 100 books from them and they come back 2 to 4 times over six months.
Type 3: The ones that have a built in audience and I print 500 -1000 copies every two to three months.

Now for the fun part...

Type one is 80% of my business
Type two is 18% of my business
Type Three is 2% of my business

An average self-published Author would make:

Type 1 - $500 or less
Type 2 - $2000 to $4000 over the course of a year or so
Type 3 - $10 to $20,000 per year

Identify what should your investment be into a self-published book. Let's say between editing, cover design, marketing, etc. it could easily cost 2500 or more, you would have to fall into that Type 2 (18%) category just to break even..... "

[Mark's Note: It seems the best use of books for most self-publishers is to open the door to other opportunities such as speaking, consulting and other product sales.]

I hope this helps...

What do you think? Are you published yet? If you are, what are your experiences?

"DIY is for Weekends and Hobbies"

6:57 PM No comments

You can probably tell by the title that I'm not a huge fan of trying to do everything alone. Not anymore. Business and life are challenging enough already. I've learned to seek out every advantage I can find. There are some who do not agree. They consider themselves proud do-it-yourselfers. I guess?

As to the matter of whether and what people can do for themselves, that's an interesting topic for me. It gets into many issues that touch on what you do, as well. Could people do for themselves what you do for them? Of course they could. However, there is an efficiency and effectiveness to using a real estate professional that is hard to replicate for most people. Likewise with my business. There are people who choose not to compensate you for your services. Those who do are rewarded with outstanding service and results that far surpass what most could do on their own.

Same with me.

Of course most of the "I can do it myself" crowd haven't and aren't doing it themselves. That's part of the reason they're financial situation is in the condition it's in.

One more thought about the "I can do THAT myself!" mentality.

Sometimes it comes from people not wanting others to see their "stuff" up close. I can understand that and I have two responses that you might not like still.

1 - Every true professional I know in any field has seen "stuff" like yours and worse than yours. I see "stuff" and hear "stuff" all day, every day. I'm not phased by seeing stuff. Good doctors don't wince when they see blood and sores. They have to see them to know what you have and what to do about it.

2 - Staying with the doctor illustration: If it truly hurts bad enough, you'll get over yourself and show somebody where it hurts. When people are in pain, they'll get help. So, to other professionals on my page reading this... don't worry about those who won't show you their "stuff" because they aren't ready to be healed.

I'm done ranting now! LOL I promise... most people who meet me say I'm a nice guy! I just get perplexed and then see why it's always those who need the most help who are the most resistant. Then I see that the true key to success was written about by a wise man years ago... "there is safety in a multitude of counsel."

As to the matter of whether and what people can do for themselves, that's an interesting topic for me. It gets into many issues that touch on what you do, as well. Could people do for themselves what you do for them? Of course they could. Perhaps. If it's just about money, remember that cheap people never get ahead. Period. Say it however you want to, but the bottom line is sometimes you need to pay a professional to do what a professional does! The "I can do THAT myself" crowd never really accomplishes their goals.

Unless you are a professional serving yourself (a debatable strategy, too) you are not going to do nearly as good of a job as a professional will do for you. There's an old saying that goes "He who has himself as a lawyer, has a fool for a client." I now understand that 100% and will testify!!!

As you may know, I have two large areas of focus for my business: credit restoration and coaching.

In both areas, you run across the "I can do THAT myself!" crowd every single day. They are normally the people who need my help the most. But they're stuck looking at pennies when they need to be focused on dollars. Sadly, they're usually going to be in the same jacked up position one year, two years or forever. Why? Because they're using the same mind that created the problem to try to solve the problem.

On the other hand...

There are people (I'm looking at myself) who finally get to a point where you see the value in getting professional help and paying for professional help. I'm happier for it where I've done so. You can't always be looking to make it happen on your own. Not if it's really important to you.

People that spend time "trying" in the most critical areas of life usually get what they pay for... the job will be done about as well as a good TRAINEE would do. There is a HUGE difference, for example, between using a world class trainer like Tomeka Flowers and subscribing to Men's Health! But it depends on your goals, I suppose. If you want to just do a little better in some areas, go for it. If you want to compete against the best, get help.

It comes down a time/talent trade-off as well. If you want to spend the time honing your craft, then perhaps yes. If you need to get to a higher level, get help. The most effective people in life (IN ANY ARENA) focus on doing what they do well and then getting the best help/partnership they can get in other areas. Not any other way to see it really.

Painting is a great example. A professional painter (which I'm not) might cost you a few hundred bucks. But people say "Oh, I'll just do it myself!" and then lose thousands or tens of thousands of dollars on the house in lost sales revenue. Focused on pennies...

Not trying to be argumentative. Some will say "value always trumps price." Does value trump price really? I don't think so. The more critical or important the function, I'd say that value and price merge. Think about it. Going to Small Claims Court? Go alone. Going to Civil Court? Call your friend who practices a little law. Trying to stay off death row? An extreme example, for sure, but I wouldn't go with my buddy unless his last name was Kardashian, Jr. or Cochran, Jr. Therefore, does value trump price? There are isolated examples where you'll find someone who can do a great job for less than someone charging more. Over time, this will not remain the case. The person with great value will raise their pricing.

Back to my original premise. How much time do I have to invest in either teaching myself or can I accept inferior performance? Sometimes, you can't afford it. There's too much on the line. So I'll maintain my position. I can paint. You can paint. If you need someone to stage your house properly for sale in a hyper-competitive market, call a pro. Fast! If you need help getting your business or life unstuck and moved to a higher level, get HELP!!

Please leave me your comments so I know how to serve you better!! If this was helpful, forward it to a friend. To your success!

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